My title refers not to the winner but to a speeding car which crashed through our hedge at 4 a.m. today! A boozed-up youth was arrested in short order, leaving the car to grace our grass until somebody sorts it out. Luckily none of the five occupants was hurt.
However, I then spent the waking hours reviewing the excellent crop of entries for the Easter comp. – quantity and quality both.
But how to decide? My shortlist includes those which reflect my own particular likes and dislikes. Papag’s Bubba and Balotelli, FEEG’s Humphrys (except the spelling, sorry!) and Livingstone, Christopher’s Angela and Barack, LW’s Kim and Humperdinck, JM’s Salmond, Soutie’s Nelson and Clarkson, Sipu’s Queen and of course Arrer’s Guardianista. Phew!
So I awarded points for poetic words, alliteration and added vitriol and came up with …….. John Mackie’s cinquain devoted to his bête noire, Alex Salmond:
Salmond, Scottish Nationalist, Hates my country, Slavering, slaistering, sleekit scunner, Shite
Congratulations, John, and thanks to everyone.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Breaking news
Vettel
Grand Prix
Out top ten
What on earth happened?
NoBull
Môre Janus
Yes, I was (extremely) disappointed when I saw JM’s entry, I thought there and then that it would take some beating.
Congrats John.
Janus thanks for a fun comp. 🙂
Well done, JM.
Janus, he is Welsh and therefore cannot spell his name properly 🙂
‘Mornin’, lads! You were all winners really! Synchronised each way in the National today, I think!
Well done Mr Mackie!
Thanks for the mention, Janus. It was a very long short-list! 😉
JM sums Alex Salmond up beautifully – congratulations.
You and Mrs J must have had a bit of a fright, Janus. Hope you are recovering.
Perfect result for a perfect pome, good on ya!
Sheona, yes. The screech of tyres woke us. We both waited for the crash which followed, demolishing the free-standing road sign, which luckily slowed the car down so it flattened a section of thorn hedge but didn’t reach the ginormous cherry tree -which would definitely have caused injuries. One of the passengers was badly shocked but lived in the village and could walk home with help. The driver had borrowed his parents’ car during their holiday in Estonia and as a student he will find the bill hard to pay – fine, car repairs, sign damage, loss of no claims bonus, etc. Mrs J had a nap earlier but woke from a nightmare about a car crash.
Janus, Good evening.
I am touched, but then you probably knew that anyway?
You appealed for more entries as your deadline heaved (or possibly hoved) into view and I answered your cry, expecting nothing more than the satisfaction of having been privileged to have been able to take part.
Needless to say, I am delighted, albeit seriously surprised, to have been awarded the palm of victory. Thank you.
An excellent choice, Janus (love your new avatar).
Well done, John! 🙂