Cockney Alphabet

I remember this from when I first went to work as a junior in a firm of City Stockbrokers. Surrounded by cockneys, I was. If any of you have improvements or alternatives, feel free to add them. I am not happy with H. I think N is my favourite.

Cockney Alphabet

Hay for horses
Beef or ham
Seaforth Highlanders
Deaf or dumb
Effervescence
Chief of Police
Age of consent
Ivor Novello
Jaffa cakes
Cafeteria
Hell for leather
Emphasis
Enver Hoxha
Oh for the wings of a dove
Pee for a sample
Queue for the bank
Arthur Mullard
As for you
Teeth or dentures (Tea for two)
You for me
Viva Espania
Double you for a quid
Eggs for breakfast
Wife or husband
Zephyr wind

13 thoughts on “Cockney Alphabet”

  2. Funnily enough Janus, his was one of the commie names I knew from when I was a kid. My mum taught us geography and history and we had to learn all the countries, their capitals and leaders. Albania was always a bit of mysterious land. As I have mentioned before, my dad spent time there during the war. Apparently Albanians were greatly despised by all who had contact with them. I wonder if that opinion has changed.

    So, you don’t have to trust Google. I can serve as your source on this one. 😉

  5. papaguinea :

    H – Age before beauty?

    Thanks Sipu, I’m a Londoner, but souf of the river!

    Thank you PNG.

    ‘H’ was driving me mad all day.

    My Dad used to do this for me in my childhood and he was definitely an ‘Age before Beauty’ kind of guy.

    I seem to remember that he was ‘J for oranges’ and that he was definitely not ‘Cafeteria’. What ‘K’ was for in his version is still lost in the mists of time for me. I may have to phone Big Sis.

  11. N – Envelope

    and JM thanks; I love ‘E for or’ from your dad’s version. So your dad was a Scot teaching you the Cockney alphabet? I find that fasciniating. Do you have other substitutes from your dad’s version?

    Soutie – H is silent as in ‘Arry Redknap the Spurs Manager or ‘Urry up!’ .

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