Can you afford fries with that?

Heston Bloomin’eck is to put a new dish on the menu.

Burger in a bun.

Nothing special there I hear you say, perhaps not. The aim of the creator of this burger is that it appears NO different to any other burger you might purchase.

If he gets it right the only difference will be when l’addition drops onto the table with a thud. £207,000 quid please.

23 thoughts on “Can you afford fries with that?”

  1. It’s good to see that the argument for growing meat in the lab is to accomodate our exponentially expanding population, thus easing the environmental impact on the Earth.

    Here’s a barmy frickin’ notion, why not do something to prevent the rapid expanse in population instead?

  2. Au contraire Madame Sheona,

    If it is still pulsing to the extent that a half decent vet could have it up and mooing, pass me a steak knife and stand well back. 🙂

  3. For a start Sipu, I would stop frickin’ about with nature and allow those people whose land cannot sustain them to either find somewhere that can or stop shagging. Don’t build a well, build a sterilisation clinic.

  4. Ferret :

    If it is still pulsing to the extent that a half decent vet could have it up and mooing, pass me a steak knife and stand well back. :)

    Amen to that. Steak is my absolutely favourite animal.


  5. Ferret, seriously though. Would you force them to be sterilised? Pay them? Bargain with them – no food or medicine unless you are sterilised? If you do not feed them, there would be a massive refugee problem. I don’t disagree with you, I just wonder how you would go about it. Nobody volunteers to be sterilised. Well, almost nobody and that is generally because they have lots of children anyway.

  6. If they believe the rest of the world will clothe and feed them, they will continue to procreate. If the message that the only help you are getting is family planning, then eventually even the savages will learn.

  7. Sipu – I chose to be sterilized after my 2.3 clones. In fact, I had to pay for it because I was under 30 and the NHS doctor said I was high risk of wanting a reversal. Oh boy was he wrong. Anyhoo, the same doctor snipped me in private. If you want to offer me money……. 😀

    Ferret – he’s just a media junkie that Heston. Yes he has some good ideas, but they didn’t work for Little Chef did they? (I always preferred Happy Eater). But cheese and pickle ice cream? Purleease!

    LW – I’m inclined to agree. As should any welfare benefit.

  8. Ferret: I am convinced that the Chinese are absolutely correct in their approach to procreation.
    Farmers and other rural residents who toil away at labour-intensive tasks are permitted a second child.
    Urbanites are permitted one child. If they want more, they have to pay a moderately high fee to the government in order to ease the cost of educating the child and providing public services. Thus, those who can afford to take care of children and get them a proper edukashon are allowed to have as many children as they wish.

  9. Christopher,
    You can call me furry. 🙂

    I thought the somewhat draconian birth control methods of our eastern brethren had been significantly relaxed. Obviously I was misinformed.

  10. Sipu

    Nobody volunteers to be sterilised. Well, almost nobody and that is generally because they have lots of children anyway.

    What arrant nonsense – I know many people who have chosen sterilisation. They are, by and large, those who want to better themselves and provide a good life for their offspring.

    As to whether one should enforce family-planning… the answer is yes. All the time we are paying people to have children, they will continue to have them. Especially when they can off-load the cost of their children’s care onto the rest of society.

  11. Thanks Janus – I’m more than a little jet-lagged!

    Sipu – thank your for the compliment… I will be on better form tomorrow.

  12. But since you raised the subject, think about what you just said.

    “They are, by and large, those who want to better themselves and provide a good life for their offspring.”

    Are those really the sorts of people Ferret was talking about? Do you honestly think that millions of Sudanese, Somalians, Bangladeshi and other impoverished folk from around the world are going to queue up to have their tubes tied? Men from that demographic certainly will not. Why should they? Shag ’em and leave ’em when times get tough, is their approach. Women on the other hand, will only do so once they have several children who have already reached adult hood. The risks of children dying early are far to great to risk having only 2 or 3. Poor people need children to look after them in old age.

    I would be interested to know to what demographic the people you are speaking of belong. I would be equally interested to know how many people you have asked about the subject and how many have said they would not get sterilised.

    As for ‘enforcing family-planning’, I wonder what you mean by the phrase. Who will do the planning, the parents or the state? Once the planning has taken place, (and lets face it, we all know that the best laid plans of mice and men, and even Australian housewives, gang aft agley) is implementation forced, or voluntary. What number of children would you allow per woman. What about men? The same number? What happens if a man with no children marries a widow who has already met your quota? Should he leave her and go and find somebody else?

    Would you allow gender selection within the womb to ensure male births, because you can bet your bottom dollar, they will opt for a male given the chance? It’s a genetic imperative. Would you ban abortions to prevent this from happening. Or would you merely ban scans that determine the sex? Perhaps you would only allow abortions if the foetus is male? (Hmm, I can almost hear you purring at the thought.) If you were to allow gender selection, how would you envisage managing the subsequent gender imbalance that would result as it has in India and China?

    Would you only allow 1 child per family as in China? If so, how would you plan to deal with the demographic disaster that is about to hit that country? How about 2? What happens if the second pregnancy results in twins, what then? Would you ban fertility drugs to encourage multiple births to overcome any ‘2 confinement’ restrictions?

    Will well-off people be exempt from such planning and its implementation? I mean if you can afford to provide for 5 children throughout their lives, would you be allowed to have 5, or even more, or would you still be limited to the number proscribed by the state? If they are allowed more, are you not practising some form of eugenics? If not, do you not think that polygamy would become de rigueur?


    I have to say that with the use of that phrase you seem to be wandering into dangerous territory.

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