In bygone days, when facing ruin,
they did whatever needed doing.
It follows and it’s not a mystery,
a man agreed his kids were history.
His wife, his second, very heartless,
persuaded him the kids were surplus
‘We can’t afford to buy them food.
Let’s try to lose them in the wood?’
But noble Hansel heard her scheming
and hatched a plan to thwart her dreaming
Collected stones and strewed them shrewdly.
They both got home. Step-mum swore crudely.
She tried again. No stones to trail.
But Hansel thought, ‘Well bread won’t fail!’
A big mistake. He learnt to rue it.
Birds ate the crumbs. He really blew it.
So, lost and hungry on they strayed
until they reached a shady glade
A cottage there of cake so sweet.
They got stuck in. A major treat.
Then out there came this kind old Gran
to say ‘Eat up all the food you can.
And then come in and be my guest
You really need to take a rest.
Before he knew it, he was trussed.
Into a cage was firmly thrust.
‘I’ll fatten you until you’re prime
And then I’ll eat you. Perhaps with thyme?’
And Gretel wept and cleaned in pain
Till Stockholm Syndrome took her brain
When Granny cooked her brother dear
She ate her fill and gave a cheer.
Boadicea's Chariot 