What a plonker. So he jumps off a mountain and his paracute half fails. Deserved what he got, a broken leg and the humiliation. I hope the helicopter rescue chaps charged him full whack for wasting their time. I bet he does it again, idiot.
And he squealed like a baby too.
Boadicea's Chariot 
I bet that hurt, silly clot.
A’hole.
Definitely a contender – didn’t he have a reserve?
All being well, the shattered end of his leg bone burst out through the skin and straight into his gentleman’s vegetables. If so, definite Darwin.
OZ
What happened to the milk of human kindness, Cuprum? Bad day?
Bearsy, yes, but apart from that, he’s still a plonker who screams like a baby!