I have been contemplating Wedding Outfits of the Mother of the Bride type for some months now. I have been searching the Internet on and off with an increasingly panicked hysterical awareness, growing increasingly more profound, that there is nothing for sale anywhere in the world that I would be seen dead in!
If you Google Wedding outfits on the Harrods website you may get some idea of my problem. I decided that even if I could afford to spend what seems an obscene amount of money on one outfit, I was unlikely to find anything I liked.
So, with three weeks to go, I ventured out into the real world and spend six hours in Reading. Although this is the nearest shopping centre of any size, I saved it until last. I had already had a browse around Henley, Marlow, and about half a dozen other likely places but couldn’t find anything remotely suitable.
Department stores annoy me intensely when it comes to fashion. I seem to remember in the dim and distant past, it was all much simpler. If one required evening gowns one went to the Evening Gown Department and so forth. Now all the clothes are scattered randomly over two floors or more!
After an hour of getting nowhere, I chanced upon a Miracle, in the form of a Personal Shopper Service. Now this sounded more like it; I told the Shopper what I wanted and she whizzed at high speed all over the store and returned with about five outfits. Too big, no problem, off she dashed and returned with the same garment but in a smaller size. I sat in comfortable surrounding in a huge private changing room and tried on all the outfits. Shoes, hats and handbags, all appeared with the same alacrity.
Now to be perfectly frank, all the outfits she chose, looked to my jaundiced eye, perfectly horrible and absolutely not my style at all, but it didn’t cost anything to try them on-several times over the next three hours, actually.
To my utter amazement, they all looked good. I have to be brutally honest, nothing like my usual understated sort of look, but then understated elegance hasn’t been fashionable for some years now, and I don’t have a tame dressmaker!
I haven’t tried on my dress, jacket and etc, at home, but if I absolutely hate them they are all going back to the shop! Not sure what I will do then, however, but I still have another 22 days!
Boadicea's Chariot 
Hi Ara.
Never been the mother of a bride myself but I am assured that you just have to get the hat right and be radiant.
Which I am sure you will.
Have you tried Basingstoke yet?
I’ve always had the problem of disliking most of what is on offer in the shops, finding that most have never fitted properly – and then there is the fact that I hate the idea of wearing something that anyone else might be wearing! At fourteen I started making my own creations – and if I want something ‘special’ now I will still make an outfit…
You have time!
Hello Araminta,
Congratulations. This is the first I have heard of the upcoming marriage. I’m sure you will find that special outfit.
Three hours in a changing room! You women are all mad, I tell you. It takes me ten seconds to decide yay or nay, clothes-wise.
A Personal Shopper, what a dream job…….spending others money. Go with your own instincts and save mega dosh. Good luck.
The blessing, or curse, of being born with an odd y-chromosome is that one has far fewer options with clothing. There are a few options for formal clothing, and a modest selection of casual, but little to inspire passion positive or negative. My own wardrobe and choice of clothing tends to be painfully dull because of it, though I often wish I had the nerve to go about dressed in traditional African or Indian clothes.
Arrers, felicitations on your upcoming new rõle as a mother-in-law! My Personal Shopper is pragmatic to a fault. “No, your legs are too short”, “Yes, it hides your paunch”, “That looks better than the old one anyway”.
I do wish somebody would explain to my why shops display their wares in the way that they do. I am not remotely fashion conscious and buy clothes for functional reasons only. If they look presentable, represent good value and are comfortable, that is fine for me. I very rarely buy brands and not for image’s sake but only when I know that a particular brand is particularly comfortable. For the most part, I find brands and the people who wear them, pretentious dross. But that is probably just me. So, I do most of my very occasional clothe shopping in department stores. When I need shoes, I go to the shoe department, look at the various styles, examine their prices and then try and find a pair that will fit me. Now, I am a tall chap, 6’4″ and a bit. My shoes are size 12. You would expect shops to display the largest sizes at the top and the smallest at the bottom of the rack. But no, it is the other way round. I have to struggle down to ground level to try and find a pair from the lowest shelf. It is the same with jeans. The smaller sizes are up on high and those with a longer leg and more ample girth are way down low. It really is dreadfully frustrating and the logic defies me.
Speaking of jeans, I have a theory that people over 40 should not wear them, nor should they dance. There is plenty of photographic evidence out there to show just how ridiculous they look. I ignore my first rule but try to abide by the second, not always successfully.
Araminta, remember, after the first drink, nobody will give a toss what you are wearing. You just need to make sure that the photographs look OK. That is all the evidence that people will have to work with when they start dissecting the wedding. So, don’t blink, don’t hold a plate of food and a glass of champagne at the same time. Try not to laugh, just smile. Do not get into earnest or hated conversations. Use the light to your benefit when you see a photographer approaching. Good luck.
Thanks you, John.
Basingstoke? I am contemplating London next week, but I’m not keen on the idea. I think I will probably have more choice but the current fashions are still dire.
Boadicea.
I have often wished I had learnt dressmaking, but never more so than now!
JW. Thank you. I know it sounds a bit OTT, especially since I hate shopping, but needs must.
Tocino. Believe me, my own choice would be no choice! My personal shopper saved me hours of dashing around. My first pass at it, on my own, was that there was nothing in the shop remotely suitable, but she found five outfits, which didn’t look entirely ridiculous.
The last thing they want you to do is go into their shop, visit one area, buy summat and leave.
They make you browse all points of the compass and a few new ones in the hope that you will be enticed into an impulse buy.
I went into Debenhams for one pair of trousers recently, I came out with the trousers, two dresses for beloved and new shoes. She did well out of me that day. I was home before I even realised how I’d been duped. 🙂
Thanks Janus, and Christopher. I think being male has advantages, it may be more boring with less choice but it does simplify shopping for clothes.
Thanks for your advice Sipu. You are absolutely right, once you arrive, you can happily forgot what you are wearing, as long as the photos are OK.
Re jeans. I break that rule too, but I’m most certainly not going to dance unless I have to. I’m having to wear high heels which I only wear about three times a year so I’m quite likely to fall over: not very dignified.
During my last trip back to Blighty I dragged two families to M & S, where I needed to buy stuff unavailable here. before I could check out my entourage had bought £100 worth of children’s clothes which they didn’t know they needed!!
Hee hee, Furry, you weren’t duped, you were just being generous, Beloved is worth it, isn’t she?
Of course she is Minty MBE and much more besides.
She simply has a knack of bringing out more of my generous nature than I knew I had. 🙂
I noticed on my last few visits to UK Department stores that they had what I consider to be no order whatsoever – I needed a new purse, my old one having finally collapsed on the journey over. I was told I had to wander all around to the various ‘makers’ counters. Couldn’t be bothered. I’m not that enamoured of shopping that I want to walk round and round… Found a John Lewis and bought a modern version of the old one.
Forget Oxford Street and environs, Araminta. If you haven’t been recently, it’s not a fit place to be. I did manage to get there at 9.00 am one Saturday – when it was quite civilised (by that I mean empty!) but the rest of the time it is one heaving mass of ill-mannered and pushy foreigners… 🙂
I was never really taught to sew – it was just something that everyone did in the family… there are tailors, theatrical costumers and dressmakers for Madam Tussauds in the ancestors. My daughter is the real whizz-kid. Show her a picture of an outfit and she’ll produce the pattern for you!
Thanks, Boadicea. I’ll avoid Oxford Street then, and I can’t afford Bond Street!
Back to Reading today for shoes. Catch you later.
When I went shopping for my “mother of the bridegroom” outfit, I was accompanied by daughter, daughter-in-law to be and other son’s girlfriend. So we were in touch with the mother of the bride to ensure colours were not duplicated and the whole thing was fun rather than a chore.
In March next year I shall be “Mother of the Bride Second-Time-Around”. By coincidence, daughter no I is marrying on the 49th anniversary of my marriage to her father (had to work the year out!) and I intend to wear something utterly outrageous….
… if I can’t be outrageous now – when can I be?
🙂
I’d love to see your outrageous outfit, Boadicea! 😉
I suppose second time around it is perfectly reasonable, I’m not sure I can do it for the first Wedding. Frankly it’s taken her long enough, and she’s the youngest!
The Wedding
Now I know that every parent is programmed to believe that their children are the epitome of beauty and intelligence from birth, and I am no exception, so I have to say that the Bride looked absolutely stunning. Slightly unfamiliar, but I suppose I have rarely seen my daughter looking quite so chic and soignée.
Bridesmaids and pages behaved immaculately, despite the smallest one, my grand son having developed an ear infection the night before: Calpol and cuddles seemed to solve the problem, and he is a genuinely sociable little chap so he revelled in all the attention. He didn’t quite steal the limelight but it was a close thing.
Wedding breakfast for thirty close friends and family and an evening party for friends of the Bride and Groom. It was traditional but also informal and relaxed, so I think everyone really enjoyed the day.
I haven’t seen the official photos yet, but mindful of your advice Sipu, I wore a hat with a wide-ish brim and tried to avoid most of them! Not entirely successful, but I hope I have avoided being a total blot on the landscape. photographically speaking!
Parents of the Bride, in bar of hotel, indulged in a bit of a weep, Chief Bridesmaid (daughter No 1) informed me by mobile phone, as Bride was having her make up done for the third time, to attend sharpish because she was convinced her sister had lost the plot., Sob! More Calpol, a glass of Champagne and removal of Ear-achey One solved the problem, and everything proceeded without a hitch thereafter.
A truly wonderful day … and I saw the sea, which was a bonus.
Thanks for the update!