Some Mother do ‘ave ’em

As I was leaving work and locking up our gates a mother of a young child, about 4 or 5 approached me and said “Did you know that there is some sort of awful black stuff all along the top of your gate?” the gate in question is nearly 7 foot high.
“Yes” I replied “It is anti vandal paint to stop people climbing up it”
“Well my son just climbed up and got covered in it” she remonstrated
“Well it is there for a reason, we have been broken into a number of times and we need to stop people getting in” I answered.
She then just stood there looking and waiting. I think she expected an apology or an offer to replace her snotty little off springs ruined clothes. Tough shit madam, if he climbed my gate, he entered my property.

Still in 8 years time we shall see this lovely little child running amok and smashing up cars and shop windows.

Author: ricksrant

I am perfect, well I think so and I am never wrong so it must be true.

16 thoughts on “Some Mother do ‘ave ’em”

  1. Christopher.

    I’m not sure that remedy is legal here, some clumsy criminal may suffer cuts or worse, and they could probably sue Rick and win!

    I suspect if it’s a child they would throw the book at you.

  2. Minty: they have quite a bit of that in China, as well. It’s more obvious than barbed wire. The UK is beginning to sound like California. If someone breaks in, we almost have to help them gather their loot and make sure they do not hurt their poor backs if they carry too much.

  3. Rick, if it were term time, I imagine she may be the sort of mother who would pop in to the local school and threaten her little dear’s teachers with physical violence if he were unfortunate enough to gain a bad report.

    OK, back to how to bring up children to respect their elders, authority and etc..

  4. True all of you, as for glass etc that is banned as is barbed wire and razor wire.

    I did ask Oz for one of his cubs who I could train tor savage all and sundry but so far he has declined.

  5. Oh dear, I’m sure there is some legislation which covers “possession of a dangerous dog” Rick, so that is not going to work either.

    Let’s face it you are stuffed!

  6. Dog, Araminta? A dog? Even a dangerous one?


    Rick sounds like he needs the assistance of one of my specially trained hairy cruise missiles.

    Wolvz ‘R’ Us Security Applications Lda.
    P.O. Box 6

    p.s. You never seen me, right!

  7. Rick – That there is a photograph of Cedric, one of our best operatives, who is on his way (don’t ask) as I write. He has been spending much time with Ethel since his last mission (You still think it was the Septics’ special forces that hunted down Osama…..? Nudge, nudge, wink wink! Say no more) and has therefore developed many issues, the most useful of which for you is a pathological hatred of mankind. If no oxygen thieves break into your compound, he needs instead 4 kilos of raw boar twice per day and a goatl for supper.

    DISCLAIMERAnd I cannot emphasise this too strongly – If you can’t source either raw looters, goat on the hoof or raw boar (preferably all three from Cedric’s point of view), please urgently get in touch with me for your own safety and for that of the wider community.


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