Nearly 24 years ago we married in front of about 100 friends and family. My father had saved specifically for both of his daughters’ weddings and really did us proud. (My sister married a couple of years later).
The Church was beautifully decorated with flowers and the reception was in an old castle with superb caterers. It rained before the ceremony and we – that is my two candy-striped bridesmaids and I, with my Dad, walked up the drive of the church under umbrellas, which amused me and stressed Dad! But then the day turned out fine and we have a traditional set of photographs which recorded the whole event. In addition an old family friend took some lovely dis-inhibited photographs in black and white which caught the spirit of the day fantastically – including the hat balancing and the silly imitation Australian hat during the speeches. I learned afterwards that it was only after the speeches that Cycloman really could start to enjoy himself!
I had never been a ‘planning princess’ as India Knight suggested every girl is, in last weeks Sunday Times – I had not ever thought about how my wedding day should be and so started with a pretty clear head. My budget was limited. I had no savings. I was on a nurses salary. The hunt for the wedding dress began.
In fact I ended up buying the very first dress I tried on… but not immediately. it was on the sale rail in the local department store, in Boston, Lincolnshire, for £125 and I had only been browsing for a few minutes before I found it. I left it on the rail and went to visit my Ma who had arranged for us to meet a dressmaker. She had some lovely ideas, but her quotation for what I described was about £500. In the end I rang the dressmaker and cancelled – I couldn’t afford her prices, and travelled back to Boston on the train anxious that the dress I wanted would have been sold.
It was waiting for me. I had to have it taken in a few inches and buy a veil and a thingy to hold the veil in place, and shoes… completely flat shoes.
The dress has lived inside a bag in a wardrobe wherever we have lived and only once have I tried it on… a couple of years ago. I could just do it up, but couldn’t breathe too well. I had been rather slight at 26.
A couple of months ago a friend told me about her niece who needed a wedding dress, but had no money. I offered my dress and it was duly taken away to be tried. It would need altering, the friend’s niece is tiny – that’s OK I thought, at least it isn’t sitting around being unused.
Last night we visited my friend. In the end the niece had been told by the dressmaker that the dresses proportions would be spoilt by the alterations, and so it has been returned to me unaltered. And do you know what? I was quite pleased.
Now I’m just going to search out my wedding album.
Boadicea's Chariot 
I did enjoy reading this, Nym. 🙂
It’s lovely to look back and remember.
What about you? Do you still have a wedding dress?
No, but I still have the suit I wore; it seemed very expensive at the time, and I have worn it about half a dozen times since, so I don’t feel too bad about it.
I’m now involved in Wedding Dress for daughter, and she did exactly what you did, she fell in love with one and declared it too expensive. She’s ordered it now, and it really wasn’t hideously expensive but it is quite beautiful.
Yes, I suppose a suit has a lot more ‘future use’ than a wedding dress! Oh, I do hope daughter is happy with her choice. (£125 was cheap for a wedding dress even then- it was in the sale as that dept store had elected to stop a wedding range. I dread to think what a wedding dress would cost now…. I shall save mine to see if my nieces would wear it)
She is very happy with her choice. She was er “persuaded” that the one she fell in love with was perfect, and although she thought it expensive, I did not. It was not too disastrously over budget so we persuaded her to order it regardless.
Having been married three times, my memories are a bit of a mixed bunch. I made the outfits for my first two weddings and bought a simple dress fit to be worn on special occasions for the third.
Each wedding was celebrated in a quite different way – however, there was one constant. Bearsy attended all three…
I wish I had never got married.
marriage should be outlawed.
Boadicea – It was obviously meant to be.
Nighty night. 🙂
OZ
It’s sad that you have a bad experience of marriage Claire. But it works for a lot of us – I think outlawing it is a little drastic!
Boadicea – it was obviously meant to be- but he had to wait for you!
Thanks Pseu. But spare me the sympathy – everyone else has.
Pseu
I have taken the liberty of removing a quarrel from your post. I have not removed the comments from the trash – which you can find by clicking on Dashboard – Comments – trash. You are welcome to restore them should you wish.
There is a personality clash here, and a historic argument. It is my opinion, based on personal knowledge, that there is a clear case of mistaken identity and that one of the parties is being blamed for something that he has not done.
I don’t think your post should be troubled with it. 🙂
Boadicea
Thank you Boadicea. I have exercised this editing facility myself just on one other occasion. I’m now in two minds about looking at the trash, but I trust your judgement and won’t restore anything.
Claire, not knowing the full story I’m not in a position to judge, therefore I do not: but I am saddened that you had a bad experience of marriage. NO marriage is perfect, but many are unbearable and however well you think you know someone before you marry them there is a sort of leap into the dark when you actually marry them.
Nearly 24 years Pseu? It must have been around the time of my wedding,20th November 1987. On the Queen’s ruby anniversary, but we hadn’t realised that. We wanted to get married asap, preferably on a Saturday, but the two closest Saturdays were booked up because no-one had wanted to get married on Friday 13th. That was my second wedding, very small and relaxed.
Re.the wedding dress I can beat you. For my first wedding, nine years previously, I got my dress for a fiver, in a sale. And very nice it was too.
Loved this, Pseu. I wasn’t a “planning princess” either. Bought the first dress I tried on too, in Berketex dept of Debenhams. Simple, long, white, looked great. Veil, tiara thing to keep it in place over my long hair – natural, lighter and a bit shorter than Kate’s but v similar. Silky white ballet pumps. Sorted!
No 2 son is getting married in July so I’m familiar with the hideously unjustified expense which can be involved in weddings these days. Running a business which has anything at all to do with weddings is just a licence to print money.
I was recently shown into a vair posh wedding shop in Chelters; shagpile carpet three inches thick, softly spoken vair posh assistant showing me a rail of nine vair posh mother-of-groom outfits, none of which were less than £900. And they were all horrible. I said to her “Actually, I don’t think any of these are my style. Anyway I’d rather spend £900 on a road bike or give it to the happy couple.” Her face did a kind of twitch of disgust and I let myself out.
Look forward to your pics! 🙂
Yes Julie, July 1897 🙂
£5 – pretty good for a dress vair impressed!
Jan I can just imagine the sort of shop. Glad you put her in her place. £900 for a dress? Madness
Exactly, Pseu. Now a Specialized Dolce ladies road bike would worth every last penny. 🙂
Have you found something to wear, Jan?
(I have a Specialized….)