FOR SALE BY OWNER.

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog… able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

*** And the WINNER is… ***

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition…..£200 or best offer.
No longer needed.
Got married last month, wife knows everything.

Author: zenrules

64,MS,wheelchair,angry View all posts by zenrules

7 thoughts on “FOR SALE BY OWNER.”

Some belters there. My favourite appeared in the Times some years ago. ‘Wanted, loud trumpet required by a bathchair bound retired Army Major with noisy neighbours, object, retaliation.

Excellent!

I like the free puppies and the wedding dress particularly, Zen.

I am rather fond of the Yorkshire terrier!

I enjoyed the humour shown in this Lonely Hearts Ad:
“Safety first. Dignity second. Trousers last. Rubbish wok-cooked foods enthusiast and flammable materials-wearing loon (M) WLTM F to 45 with fire-blanket and no small amount of knowledge regarding the correct batter-frying procedures of tempura. Bicester. Box no. 2006.”