Definitions

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.
We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls.
But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys,
being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to
ask: ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping
your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: ‘You’re next,
Chubby.’

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.
Both result in death.

Unknown's avatar

Author: zenrules

64,MS,wheelchair,angry

9 thoughts on “Definitions”

  4. The difference between guts and balls.
    When I was fatter than I am now my guts used to hang over my belt without to much reaction from passers by. I’m not sure that would be the case if I allowed my balls to do the same.

  6. The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight… “promise!”
    Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.

    Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, I realized she’d probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

    The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o’clock. She didn’t seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, I thought! Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, “Well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said, ‘oh f**k,’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more…. then farted.”

  7. While we are on definitions, do you know how to define the difference between an iggle and a bogey (booger to our Transatlantic friends)?

    Simples, just extract said item from your nose, place it on the nail of your index finger then flick it hard at the ceiling. If it sticks up there, it is an iggle. If it bounces back and hits you on the head, it is a bogey!

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