‘Well since we’ve got this rain delay at the Auchinleck and District Ladies’ Bowling League relegation play-off semi-finals, we’ll just nip over to our Radio Jockland commentator, Jock Scunner, to see if anything is happening at that game in South Africa. Aye weel, Jock?’
‘Aye weel, Weir! You join us with 30 seconds to go in extra time, after which it will be penalties when we will, hopefully, get the usual happy ending. We’ve got a lengthy injury delay at the moment, with Crouch receiving treatment for altitude sickness. Given that Soccer City Stadium is over 5,700 feet above sea level, it was always going to be a mistake to play the skinnymalink in the first place, in my opinion – there can’t be much oxygen up there even for for his big neb.
Still, it gives me some time to describe the scene. Away to my right I can see the massed ranks of the magnificent Brazilian fans. Happy, flag-waving, samba-loving extroverts dancing the time away in true carnival style as they await the victory which any true football fan would wish them. Continue reading “Disaster for Scotland”





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