Happiness is bottle shaped,
Happiness is beer
Although, if you have too much
You can feel quite queer!
I love to quaff a pint of ale
It makes me feel quite grand
So poo to you who dare to say
“You can hardly stand!”
Go in further to see my photo!
I know I have mentioned buying a house here with less land to which to retire. Well, we did. I had sold my house in Wales the past summer and wanted to tuck up the money, no point putting it in the bank, that’s for sure! The bastards want to charge you to keep your money these days round here.
So, we buy this house, about the same size house as here but on a small town plot. The plan being sell this and move into that. Well, when we viewed several times the place was as quiet as the grave, suited me fine, I hate noise. Immediately we made the purchase and handed over the filthy lucre all hell lets loose! The hard rock music from next door vibrating the walls of our place and then another time bloody bongo drums! One could be forgiven thinking one had been transported into the Congo basin and missionaries were aboiling!!
I have often wondered how the choice of the European City of Culture is made and by whom. Sometimes I really wonder about the choice.
Today Kosice in eastern Slovakia takes its turn centre stage for a year. It’s the second largest city in Slovakia and I haven’t visited it myself, but it seems to have quite a few things going for it.
But this year the title is shared between two cities and the other one is Marseille. Marseille is not a city I like, particularly its over-ornate basilica, Notre Dame de la Garde. There is a new Museum of the Mediterranean being built for this year of glory, but it won’t be finished till June at the earliest, half-way through its reign. Over the past year Marseille has become notorious for murders, usually one lot of drug-dealers taking out a rival bunch. No loss there! But is it really a good idea to have a lot of visitors coming to a place where drive-by shootings have become the norm? Some of the local people are hopeful that the culture accolade will improve the town’s image,
” De quoi, espèrent en choeur les Marseillais, corriger l’image de la ville, particulièrement mise à mal ces derniers mois après une série de règlements de comptes.”
Would it not have been better to postpone this City of Culture title for Marseille for a bit, until the new museum was fully open and the police and gendarmes have managed to clear up some of the drugs racket though that will take a while, since corruption has eaten its way into some of the forces of law and order? The North African ferries continue to unload their cargo of HGVs, many of them with hidden extras. So who on earth thought it would be a good idea to nominate Marseille in the first place and to carry on regardless in the second?
My old granddad always used to say “There’s two types of people in this world. Those that keep stuff and those that don’t keep stuff.” Me, I could hoard until the cows come home and as the song goes, I’m not the only one. My mate Chibber is also a hoarder. Continue reading “The War Journal: Frozen wastes”
I have never been an incandescent sort of person. In truth, you would probably have to dowse me with 100% proof spirit and toss a lighted match in my direction to inflame me about anything. I just have this congenital belief that the other chap may not be talking total rubbish and that I should, in fairness, listen to him even if what he is saying sounds like utter piffle. Continue reading “Is Nothing Sacred?”
The So-vile report is finally published and Jimbo has been outed as a serial sex offender between 1955 and 2009. He is dead now, thankfully, and his knighthood died with him so no action can be taken in either of those directions, but a thought struck me.
Many ‘cebebs’ get away with all sorts of drink and drug-addled misdemeanours of a minor or major degree because of their ‘status’ and this is wrong. But what about politicians, diplomats and suchlike? In many countries our leaders have immunity from prosecution – Chirac in France dodged trial for years by clinging to the presidency; Berlusconi used the system so that when charges finally come to the fore they are usually deemed out of time under the very convenient Italian Statute of Limitations. Even some of our UK trough-hogging MPs (unsuccessfully) claimed immunity from prosecution for expenses abuse on the grounds of parliamentary privilege. Last week a Portuguese deputada was stopped by Senhor Plod driving away from parliament with a blood-alcohol level that would get your average voter a year in the slammer, but she too is claiming parliamentary immunity.
And don’t even get me started on diplomats. Get a set of diplomatic plates for your motor and park wherever you please, anywhere. and that’s just for starters. Beat your maid to death and the authorities can’t touch you or smuggle drugs or explosives in a diplomatic bag which can’t be searched.
So, arise Sir Jimbo, MP for East Kiddyfiddler and Honourary Consul for the Republic of Banana.
Sleep well children everywhere and over to you Mr. Mackie to blow my bar-room lawyering out of the water. 🙂
OZ
I was fascinated by this story in my daily yesterday, particularly the excitement of the cadet in the report.
The expedition led by explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes to cross Antarctica in winter will be a new record for humankind, deputy transport minister Sindisiwe Chikunga said in Monday (07/01/2013). “This ’coldest journey on earth’ is humankind’s first ever attempt in history at crossing… Antarctica in winter,” she said in a statement.
You may have read of the former pub landlord from West Yorkshire that became the first person in the UK to have a hand transplant. Hoping not to lose my right appendage soon or at any time in the future if I do have a mishap I have asked for some special requests because, come on, if you don’t ask you don’t get. Therefore I would like Shane Warne’s wrist, Marvin Hagler’s knuckles and Warren Beatty’s fingertips. Thank you very much.
Going the whole whack and entering into Wildenstein territory if I needed a head transplant I’d opt for Martin Scorsese’s eyebrows…
Could I just start by wishing all my fellow Charioteers a Good New Year? For the avoidance of doubt, this universal greeting does not constitute a discharge of my obligation to wish each and every one of you, as individuals, a GNY, as and when I first address you personally. I’ve already done a few and I know who you are if I haven’t yet.
Said obligation will persist well into the aforesaid New Year. I realise that JW alleges that there is a cut off after 7 days but he is, of course, talking total keech. Continue reading “2013 and Counting Down to the Vote”
On her last visit to the UK the wife of the then outgoing French president was interviewed on the Beeb. “Tell us Madame de Gaulle, what do you most look forward to in retirement?” “When my ‘usband he leave ze Elysée all I want is a penis.” Her interpreter leaned forward, “I think Madame meant to say, ‘All I want is happiness.”
Fumada was not filled with happiness when she saw her Christmas present and dealt with it accordingly.
I have decided to set a single title for both the pome and piccie comps, this being ‘Happiness‘ in anticipation of a better 2013. Interpret this as you wish. Please post any entries for either competition on this thread before 09:00 Zulu, Sunday 20th January and good luck.
OZ
Boadicea's Chariot 
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