Category: General

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that ‘Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.’ On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.’

She calmly turned her head and said, ‘In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.’

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, ‘Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you… Tray-up, Bitch’

Helen Shapiro

On the 11th of October 1982 the Mary Rose, flagship of King Henry VIII, was raised to the surface after 437 years at the bottom of the Solent. The operation cost £4,000,000.

Launched in 1510, the Mary Rose sank on her way to engage the French enemy fleet off Portsmouth Sound on the 19th of July 1545. Between four and five hundred men perished.

In July 1545 the French fleet entered the Solent with the intention of invading the Isle of Wight and destroying the English fleet. The French fleet was huge, with around 200 ships.  The English fleet consisted of around 80 ships, in Portsmouth, with more expected from the west Country. The English aimed to fight a defensive battle, they were outnumbered, but had a positional advantage. The first day of the battle consisted of a long range cannonade between the French galleys and the English fleet in which neither side suffered any real loss. The French had managed to invade the Isle of Wight, tangling with the local militia. Continue reading “On This Day – 11th October 1982”

I tried being reasonable, I didn’t like it.
Clint Eastwood

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.

Brenda Lee

I demolish my bridges behind me – then there is no choice but forward.
Fridtjof Nansen

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.

Blue Mink – Count me in

‘Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.’ Anon.

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.