Category: General

Aussie poem

The sun was hot already – it was only 8 o’clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams.

He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
“Typical bloody sheep,” he thought, “they’ve got no common sense,
“They won’t go through a gateway but they’ll jump a bloody fence.”

Continue reading “Aussie poem”

Seeing as it’s Sunday…

God Said, Adam I Want you to do Something for me.”

Adam said, “Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?”

God said, “Go down into that valley.”

Adam said, “What’s a valley?”

God explained it to him.

Then God said, “Cross the river.”

Adam said, “What’s a river?” !

God explained that to him, and then said, “Go over to the hill…….”

Adam said, “What is a hill?”

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, “On the other side of the hill you will find a cave”

Adam said, “What’s a cave?”

! After God explained, he said, “In the cave you will find a Woman.” Continue reading “Seeing as it’s Sunday…”

Educating the BBC News Announcer/News Producer

Electrocution is the cessation of life caused by the application of an electric current to the body.
We were informed on the news tonight that one of the stories revealed by the Wikileaks was about “a man who had been electrocuted”, and complained about it afterwards – are we in the presence of the Second Resurrection, or just another instance of the BBC’s sloppy use of English?
He had received electric shocks in the course of being tortured. Had he been electrocuted, he wouldn’t be in any position to complain about it…to think there was a time when people all over the world listened to the BBC to improve their english!

Twould be funny, twere it not true

In the year 2009, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Australia ,

and said, ‘Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and

I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.’

He gave Noah the plans, saying, ‘You have 6 months to build the Ark before I

will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.’

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard –

Continue reading “Twould be funny, twere it not true”