Category: General

Pav – Serenata, Mascagni

Evenin’ all. I know I haven’t been around for a while, but before anyone thinks I’ve ‘done a Toc’ I just want to ‘splain myself.

The first thing that happened is that I came down with wolf flu. Now, imagine parvo virus crossed with the most virulent man-flu squared and you’ll have some idea of how I felt. All I wanted, as I lay whimpering helplessly in the back of The Cave was for somebody – anybody – to come round with a flask of hot, home made chicken soup and stroke my ears with lots of soothing ‘there, there’ sounds.

Nobody came. Sob!

Continue reading “Wolf flu”

Stockport Council has upset the residents of Brinnington, a council estate on which I used to live, with this poster.

Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any.

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.

A teacher asks her class, ‘If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?’
She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, ‘None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.’
The teacher replies, ‘The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.’
Then little RALPHY says, ‘I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?’
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’
To which Little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,’ but I like your thinking.’

A precious little girl walks into a PetSmart shop and asks,
in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, “Excuthe me,
mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”
As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that
he’s on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit,
or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle
bwown wabbit over there?”
She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her
hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,

“I don’t think my python weally gives a thit.”

As residents in France we have difficulty in finding decent christmas cards, so we order from England on the net. One charity we bought from in the past took ages to deliver, so we have changed to another supplier. We ordered last week and they were delivered today. They are to our liking, traditional Christmas scenes, and not at all expensive. For anyone who may be interested, the supplier is ‘Cards for Good Causes Ltd’ at http://www.cardsforcharity.co.uk

Neil Diamond – Pretty Amazing Grace

First published MyT 08/11/09. Revised.

Today, for about the fourth time in 30 years or more, I did not attend my usual Remembrance Day service. I didn’t want to.

In November 1914, Heart of Midlothian Football Club were sitting proudly atop of the League after an unbeaten run of 20 matches. Then Lord Kitchener called for his volunteer Army. Continue reading “My Remembrance Day”