Author: zenrules

“She stopped the show – but then the show wasn’t traveling very fast.”
Noel Coward

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.

Ben E. King – Save The Last Dance For Me

“I should love to perform “There Are Fairies in the Bottom of My Garden” (Bea Lillie’s signature song), but I don’t dare. It might come out “There Are Fairies in the Garden of My Bottom.”
Noel Coward

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

Human beings are the only animals that stutter,’ she says.
A little girl raises her hand. ‘I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.’

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could
become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
‘Well’, she began, ‘I was in the back yard with my kitty and the
Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we
knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!’
‘That must’ve been scary,’ said the teacher.

‘It sure was,’ said the little girl.

‘My kitty raised her back, went “Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF,” but
before she could say “Fuck!,” The bloody Rottweiler ate her!’

Queen – It’s Late

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Noel Coward

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.

In Memory

Billy Fury – Halfway to Paradise

This recording of an early hit was made 4 days before he died in 1983.

It’s late Fall, and the Indians on the reservation in Sisseton, South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea.

He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’ ‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

The chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’ ‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’ ‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood.’

We have played so well that the guys have really made my job fairly easy.
Ricky Ponting

Goodnight everyone, sleep well.