Author: zenrules

64,MS,wheelchair,angry

Chinese Wedding Night

A young Chinese couple get married. She’s a virgin.
Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn’t know that.
On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.
“My darring,” he whispers, “I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten.
I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want
You juss ask. Whatchu want?” he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly for her request).
She eventually shyly whispers back, “I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls… Nummaa 69.”
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her..
“You want… Garlic Chicken with Corrifrowa?”

Neil Armstrong had a secret

On July 20, 1969, as Commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon.

His first words after stepping on the moon, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for Mankind,” were televised to Earth and heard by millions.

But just before he reentered the lander, he make the enigmatic remark “Good luck, Mr Gorsky.”

Many people at NASA thought it was a casula remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut.

However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the “Good luck, My Gorsky … ” statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1885, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong.   This time he finally responded.

Mr Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could now answer the question.

In 1938, when he was a kid in a small mid-west town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.   His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbour’s yard by their bedroom window.

His neighbours were Mr and Mrs Gorsky.

As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs Gorsky shouting at Mr Gorsky. “Sex!   You want sex?! You’ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”