Author: zenrules

64,MS,wheelchair,angry

Catholic Morning Coffee in Rome

CATHOLIC MORNING COFFEE IN ROME

Four Catholic Men and a Catholic Woman were having coffee in St. Peter’s Square.

The First Catholic Man tells his Friends, “My Son is a Priest. When He walks into a Room, everyone calls Him, “Father.”

The Second Catholic Man chirps, “My Son is a Bishop. When He walks into a Room, people call Him, “Your Grace.”

The Third Catholic Gent says, “My Son is a Cardinal. When He enters a room, everyone bows their head and says, “Your Eminence.”

The Fourth Catholic Man says very proudly, “My Son is the Pope. When He walks into a Room, people call Him, “Your Holiness.”

Since the Lone Catholic Woman was sipping Her coffee in silence, the four Men give her a subtle, “Well….?”. Continue reading “Catholic Morning Coffee in Rome”

Late night call to the vet

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and “in heat’, agreed to look after her neighbours male dog while the neighbours were on vacation.

She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, “Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw.”

“Do you think that will work?” she asked.

“It just worked for me,” he replied.

By mistake

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other’s company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening. They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town.
Despite his age, they ended at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they’d shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts…..

Claude was thinking: ‘If I’d known she was still a virgin, I’d have been gentler.’

Maude was thinking: ‘If I’d known he could still do it, I’d have taken my tights off ‘