ricksrant

A short life

I can remember the first time I felt anything; one second I wasn’t aware then I could feel the sun shining down on me warming my limbs, I could feel warmth and the shimmer of the breeze rushing over me. I stretched my awareness out and could sense others like me surrounding me, some had been aware for some time others were still crawling towards awareness. None of us could see nor hear or smell, we just ‘were’, we could sense everything, we knew what was going on around us, we could others like us and understood their needs, yet we did not talk to others as sound is alien to us.

As I stood there I could feel things crawling around my base as base that consisted of millions of tentacle like creepers covered in the finest filaments of hair whose purpose was to suck in any moisture and nutrients from the ground to feed the rest, the same tentacles dug through the soil and helped to anchor me in place as they grew outward and downward in search of moisture. It was in these tentacles that I felt movement that was not my own, as worms ate their way through the soil occasionally they ate through my smaller roots other life also made its home under my protection; I was home to millipedes, centipedes, wood lice and various other insects, all paid for their protection by tilling the soil around my roots allowing me to move freer towards water and life. Continue reading “A short life”

PIP

There has been a lot in the press about faulty breast implants from France and the danger they pose to women if the implant leaks or otherwise.

Though I see the danger I do not see why these women who found the money for the implant for their vanity (or to please their man) now want them removed FREE by the NHS. Sorry you paid for them privately, now either they should pay for the removal or the hospital that implanted them should remove them for free as they are faulty goods.

A removal paid for by the NHS will divert funds away from real sick people who are ill through no fault of their own. Te expect the NHS to remove them is wrong.

Of Moles and Men

With apologies to John Steinbeck.

Two stories in the paper that make me wonder just what happened to good old British humour and wry look on life.

First Betty Boothroyd has been inundated by people protesting about a comment made during an interview in which she complains bout the moles in her garden. Out of 5 mole traps 4 had been sprung and the mole population had decreased, her comment was “soon have enough for a moleskin coat”. Obviously this has been leapt upon by the loonies who love to put us down and take away any fun comments, such as shooting strikers. Continue reading “Of Moles and Men”

To the rescue

While hiking along the white cliffs of Dover this morning I noticed a Muslim extremist slip from the cliffs and fall into the English Channel. He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he had been carrying. If he didn’t get help he’d surely drown.

Being a responsible Brit, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I informed Kent Police and the Home Office.

It is now 4 p.m., he has drowned, and neither authority has yet responded. I’m starting to think I wasted two stamps.

A biblical parable (sort of)

It is a strange world when our leaders do not learn from history but believe they can build empires on sand or moving platforms; such is the case for the Euro. The basic idea of a single currency ruled by one finance ministry and tax regime is an excellent idea, and from this idea the politicians decided to go madly ahead and introduce a single currency without first building the strongest foundations possible.

The politicians decided that all countries within the Euro zone were at the same level of wealth, that all countries had strict tax regimes and that all countries played by the same rules. However this was far from the truth, the northern European countries had rich manufacturing economies and very rigid tax regimes with people that played by the rules; while the southern states had very little in regards to manufacturing industry and relied mainly on farming and tourism, with a tax regime that is laughable at best and absolutely non existent at worst. Continue reading “A biblical parable (sort of)”

Euro talks

Can someone explain why these talks on the Euro start late evening after a large meal with plenty of booze no doubt. What is wrong with meeting fresh first thing in the morning and having sandwiches and coffee/tea/water so that a clear head is kept?

Mind you this probably explains why they can’t come up with an answer, too pissed or too tired.

Unemployment solution

I have come up with an idea that will create hundreds of jobs in England and solve the Barnett formula problem.

Get the unemployed to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall but a lot higher, install electrified razor wire and put up gun posts to shoot any trespassers. Then cut off Scotland and let them go it alone.

On going we can have border control posts ensuring that any from north of the border who wish to come south have funds and can pay their way.

Billions saved, thousands employed. Win win

What is it with the press?

I am fed up with the ridiculous reporting by the press and their continual idiotic following of celebrities and pointless information.

In today’s Telegraph there was an article about a village where metal thieves had stolen a number of iron/metal gates from peoples drives overnight, so far okay, then as an aside “the village is near to where Kate and Pippa Middleton grew up” who bloody cares, it is a pointless line that detracts from the story.

In the same way I was born in the same universe as they were is that news NO.

It appears to me that the press have decided not to create another Diana with Kate, but they are doing their best to make one of of Pippa by having her photo in the papers at least 4 times a week.

I hope she avoids tunnels and drunk drivers.

Have we really come to this?

I went to my office today to collect some items and well.

First let me explain, my office is in Orpington High Street, the entrance to my part is round the back from a private car park, the car park is closed off with a 7 ft tall gate and 7 ft wall all the way round it. To get to my door you go up 14 iron stairs, at the top is a fence round the stairs with the door in front of you, to the side is a flat roof balcony, to access the roof you have to climb over the tall railings, not easy. Got the picture?

There on the flat roof for all to see was a large human (if they can be called human) jobby, shit, poo, faeces call it what you like.

Has society really degenerated this far that they have to climb walls etc to have a dump?

2P or not 2P

We have just had a day out in France leaving this morning at 7 doing a bit of shopping and having a pleasant meal before returning on the shuttle with the car full of wine. Any way while in the restaurant I had to go for a P, wee, piss, call it what you like. IT was a small restaurant with only one cubicle loo and one urinal against the wall, the loo was also unisex.

So there I am at the urinal as the cubicle was engaged when in come 2 attractive young girls and stand right behind me as I am doing the business.

Now I know this is quite normal in France but I wonder how many women would happily sit down to pee with a couple of strange men standing right next to them, I am sure this would be seen to unacceptable, yet for men it is okay to stand there with strange females next to them while peeing.

Before anyone asks no I did not “dry up” mid flow, I was desperate to go and would have gone anywhere by then.