It’s best to keep new year’s resolutions to oneself. That way, breaking them inspires least hilarity or contempt in others. Backside’s irritating irony would always be too much for me. But for all that, I can reveal I am resolved to kill the gadfly which my other head too often allows me to employ at others’ expense. I will brave his efforts to persuade me to harness a new one whenever I feel the urge. So! That’s done. And yes, I feel better already and hope that you, friends, will let us know how you intend to conduct yourselves in 2017. Or have you resolved to tell nobody?