Researchers asked 2 000 people about their opinions on office jargon and the phrases they find most irksome.
Over a quarter cited the term “social notworking” – the art of appearing to be hard at work while messing about on Facebook and Twitter – as the most irritating new jargon term.
It was closely followed by “deja brew”, the seemingly kind offer to make a colleague a cup of tea, when you know that they have just had one and are therefore likely to decline.
The top three is completed by “blue-sky drinking”, a term used to describe an unlimited free bar at a work party.
The remaining top 10 most irritating office jargon are:
Drainstorm – a poorly organised workshop, at which everyone leaves feeling deflated
Human desourcing – sacking people
Jambivalence – ignoring a printer blockage in the hope that someone else will fix it
Google naps – using Google to work out what time colleagues in the US will be sleeping, to avoid them replying to e-mails
WTF?! It’s only Tuesday, and you have Wednesday, Thursday, Friday?! still to do
Stock home syndrome – pinching stuff from office.
Shout-of-office – when somebody is going on holiday and lets everybody know.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Stock home syndrome – love it! 🙂
Very amusing. 🙂
Hello Soutie: The only one of you examples I was familiar with was “social networking” due probably to my retired state, at least I do not have to tolerate such stuff anymore.
I read in a BBC article last week that prizes had been awarded for fine? examples of “corporate speak”
One company called those who had been fired (let go, Riff’ed, terminated, dismissed) as “demised staff” they probably marched them out back and shot them.
The winner of the corporate speak award was Rob Stone, CEO of Cornerstone, who wrote about his ad agency’s expansion: “As brands build out a world footprint, they look for the no-holds-barred global POV that’s always been part of our wheelhouse.” This from a man who expects to be PAID for his communications skills.
The straight talk award went to Wan Long, founder of Shuanghui International a global leader in the pork chop space. He said: “What I do is kill pigs and sell meat.” Refreshingly honest and easy to understand.
Like LW, thank god I’m retired!
The expression that used to get to me big time. I took the first lease on a National Trust project in Carmarthenshire that had been the beneficiary of extensive renovations.
Needless to say there were a lot of initial problems with the building that had to be worked through especially with public access. They really had not taken into account how many people would use the place.
There were real problems, especially with the somewhat experimental sewage plant that didn’t work with such volumes and was disgorging raw sewage into a salmon tributary!!!!!!
So I mean SERIOUS problems!
The NT used to come out, ponce around, do nothing and talk gently of’ challenges’. If I heard that bloody word once I heard it ten thousand times in a sea of shit!
Needless to say with such a shower doing absolutely bloody nothing I called a cesspool contractor and had the holding tank emptied on a weekly basis and sent them, the NT, the bill!
They didn’t like it one little bit until I threatened to call health and safety, dept on the Environment etc etc and put it in the papers that they were killing a game river!
I only have to hear the word ‘challenges’ to have my hackles achieve triceratops ratings!!
My current peeve is “behind the eight ball”
Mostly used (in my experience) by cricket commentators but the idiots aren’t sure whether it’s a good position (i.e. about to pot the 8 and win the game) or in a poor position (i.e. snookered behind the 8 and seemingly staring at defeat.)
However, at the start of the 16th over in today’s New Zealand v India ODI, Simon Doull (who appears to have replaced Ian Smith as the head honcho when it comes to Kiwi cricket commentating) had this to say..
“The Indian batsmen are under the 8 ball” ???
The Indians were 2 wickets down and batting slowly (49/2 after 16 overs) but “under the 8 ball” ??? I give up!
Didn’t Antipodeans bowl 8-ball overs some time ago?
Indeed we did, and so did many other nations (including England) until Kerry Packer came along. 🙂
This expresion may be out of date now, but when I was working I hated the “I have been tasked with …”
“WTF?! It’s only Tuesday, and you have Wednesday, Thursday, Friday?! still to do”
And on Friday – it’s POETS! (P*ss off early – tomorrow’s Saturday).
Well they say that you learn something new every day!
I questioned Bearsy’s statement above because I don’t recall ever playing or watching a match that had 8 ball overs, and I watched the Port Elizabeth leg of the 4-0 thrashing handed out to Bill Lawry’s team back in ’70.
Did you know that when cricket started overs were only 4 balls? And that South Africa adopted the 6 ball over (from 8) in 1961? (England adopted the 6 ball over as early as 1946?)
It appears that only Oz and NZ continued with the 8 ball over ’till as late as 1979.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Over_%28cricket%29