The bachelors and the divorced like to boast of their success with the opposite sex. The happily married men amongst us let them rattle on, fascinated and abhored at the same time and, with a degree of envy. As the stories get more and more descriptive the marrieds separate from the conquistadors and remove themselves to the quietest part of the pub, commonly known as the rugby corner. Over here we amuse ourselves by making variations on the famous Paul Newman quote “Why go out for a burger when there’s steak at home?”
One of the wedded said that this is like a caption competition contest and was derided with a collective “oh no, it’s not” as we all have a policy of not commenting on caption competition posts.
Why go to the Louvre when you’ve got an oil painting in the house?
Why go on safari when you’ve a wild animal in the bedroom?
Why play with matches when you’ve a perfectly good zippo?
Why drive a steamroller when you’ve got a Challenger MT765 25″ tracks, turbo charged 6 cylinder 24 valve, 320hp, 43.5 gpm hydraulic pump flow with automatic steering and a comfort pack including leather air seat and climate control tractor?
Why use a brush when you’ve got a scrubber?
Why use a new carrier when you’ve a recyclable bag for life?
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Boadicea's Chariot 
JW, Backside was wondering if your missus and friends run a similar contest to describe their fellas. ‘Why date Leyton Orient when you live in the Man U changing room?’ Etc. 🙂
“the rugby corner” ???
.. 🙂 ..
Oh, says the missus, don’t they play rugby?
Why ride the town bike when you have a Harley at home. 🙂
🙂
Why have a pint of Newcie Broon down the pub when you have a Grimbergen Trippel in the fridge at home?
Alternatively, a Scouse girl once bought a big plasma screen for their bedroom only to be greeted by Scouse significant other with, “Lose the telly, love, I’m the entertainment in ‘ere.”
OZ
🙂 🙂
Why go for Bovril when there’s Vegemite in the cupboard at home?
Coat! Taxi!
OZ
If you had said Marmite instead of that Antipodean gunge, I would have agreed with you 🙂
Well-played, men.
One for FEEG.
Why watch in standard when you have HD?
Yeah well, FEEG, I lived and worked in Australia and developed rather a taste for the stuff. I was, of course, already a Marmite junkie from way back.
Holy Trinity
OZ
Why waste your time with one off rock concerts when you have the classics at home
How true, how very true! 🙂
Following the theme, why play vinyl when you have CDs at home?
HD, on the other hand, is vastly overrated IMO given digital transmissions and the quality of modern LCDs, plasma screens and LEDs. Little brother has the whole SKY package on which he proudly demonstrated the HD channels. Honestly, I couldn’t tell the difference and predict HD will go down the gurgler the same way as 3D.
OZ
Why listen to The Beatles when you can harken to Wings?
I’m with you on the HD con, wolf cousin. Me and FEEG have disagreed on this subject many times. Clearly, there’s a limit to picture clarity before it becomes indiscernible.