Its happened again!
Everything, but nearly everything happens to me in threes. It has become quite ghastly waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Okay, so triffids would wear three shoes wouldn’t they?)
Three people dropped dead on the week of October 10th over the recent past years, so that date is finished now! Three relatives in the 80s died within a few weeks although none were apparently ill. Three husbands and three dead children, I won’t go on!
This time it is only appliances thank God! The other day my worthy, elderly, very comfy desk top computer blew up! Smoke billowed forth, thank heavens I was using it at the time or otherwise it would have burnt the house down. Needless to say, I ran screaming, (Union rules!) Spousal unit had it disabled before it could render the office into a funeral pyre. Seriously pissing off as it held my whole photo archive or so I thought and all my club admin stuff, but a great troll round his mates has found all the material to retrieve data so no real harm done. So here I am on my laptop which already has my photo archive thanks to forethought of spousal unit, (I knew there was a reason why I married him!!)
Immediately such happened I started surveying the house for suspicious candidates for second and third melodramas. I had the dryer as a dead ringer as it has a dodgy switch. But no, two days later, bugger me, but the microwave self destructs, again trying to set fire to itself! Off with its head! It had to go! I have been in two commercial fires, once in a hospital and once in a hotel that went up in flames. Not the most fun experience I can assure you!!! So I have a very low tolerance to the thought of being in a third fire. (Which is sure to come!) The next one will probably get me as a foretaste of thing to come for quite such a misspent life. (Memo to self, grow horns and tail in preparation!)
I cannot do without a microwave for a minute as I keep so much food frozen out here, so off we went into town, the five of us as usual. We did 6 shops for aforesaid beast and naturally I found fault with all of them and in the end went back to the first. By this time the canine contingent were pretty pissed off, they had had to forego their walkies through Petsmart and their free bones at the till so howled their displeasure, quite audible through plate glass windows. So I asked the assistant helping us, (It was an up market shop), for the accessory to spit roast terriers. Poor sod, it really isn’t the type of shop where assistants are supposed to guffaw at customers, terribly tra la la.
Off we tottered, quite exhausted at the horror of shopping and spending money, a mad dash home as spousal unit wanted to finish mowing the other side of the field over the stream. He charges off on the mower over the little bridge to get to the other side and….WAIT FOR IT..
The fucking bridge collapses dumping the ride on mower in the stream bed!!!! (And no, the mower didn’t self immolate in a fiery end, one must be thankful for small mercies! Well one SUV, a tow rope and the two of us later managed to haul the creature out, unharmed and in running order still but definitely no such luck for the bridge. With remarkable cool s/u actually finished the mowing getting access from the neighbours, we all have gates to each other to facilitate escape from forest fires round here, most sensible.
By 8.30 we had finished, sat down, large glasses of refreshments and a total inability to do anything but moan.
Until we saw the news. We thought we had had a bad day until we saw the type of day they had had in Oklahoma City and we knew we had got off very lightly indeed. We have both lived in tornado country in the past and know just how frightening they can be. Needless to say our piddling little woes have been dismissed as minor aggravations, at least one knows one has had the three in record time!
I’m still watching that dryer though!
Boadicea's Chariot 
I’m glad you and spousal unit and hounds all survived this chapter of accidents.
Yikes. Hardly the most pleasant of days, to be sure. Perhaps a long afternoon in the garden will help soothe raw nerves?
Commiserations, Christina! Can’t wait for pics of the ‘bridge too far’! 🙂
I’ve just ditched one of our microwaves, it has a date stamp on the back April 1988!
The one that departed was only ten years old, a Panasonic, supposedly a good make and top of the range.
Utter chizzing built in obsolescence.
Oh! For a quiet life in retirement and a little light gardening.
Storefronts, shop assistants, what are they, all my stuff comes by UPS in big boxes marked Amazon.com.
Re: Microwaves, every couple of years turn it on and wave a fluorescent tube about in front of it (especially around the door seals) if the tube lights up throw the oven away, it has transformed itself into a death ray machine.
Super story, Christina, it has a filmic quality about it especially the cinematographic breaking bridge scene with an exciting John Williams score playing in the background.
Electric razors are my appliance nightmare. Occasionally the foil goes medieval on me and catches my skin.
I never buy from Amazon.
1. I want to see the quality. I don’t do junk!
2. It puts the peasants out of work and then you get higher taxes to pay them unemployment whilst they breed!
3. Amazon appears to be very adept at not paying their taxes anywhere so we get to pay more!
4. No pockets in a shroud! Rather go round town even if it is exhausting we generally totter off for lunch somewhere, not on this occasion, but generally. Something to do besides gardening!!!
5. I like real shops with courteous knowledgeable assistants and am prepared to pay, don’t like the big box stores with no assistants. If it is 50 bucks more so be it. Less to leave to ghastly inlaws etc.
royalist might as well go back to cutthroats, better shave!
LW like the light bulb test, will tell the dogs, they hang round the microwave as a magic box of delights that produces tasty dog snacks!! How to avoid internally baked dog!
Mrs. O. Amazon has the same stuff you buy in the store (all those fine US companies like Samsung, Sony, Panasonic etc.) but 50% cheaper. They ship out of a Million square foot distribution centre in Delaware (a no sales tax State). The distribution centre used to be in Ohio until the Ohioans wanted their 5% on all sales, so Amazon closed the operation and now employ 3,000 Delawarians. When will State legislators ever catch up with the reality of interstate commerce? Taxing internet sales is just State greed, the buying decision is not a 5% one it’s 50% usually and forcing the collection of sales tax will not help small business, or the imprudent State treasuries.
Mmmm 5. still applies.
Anyway I rarely go shopping just to replace things.