Whilst the two blogs below are amusing do they really have any point of contact with reality?
I just have never had these discussions and were I to do so I’d be out the door in a flash with bags packed! Union rules are declared before one even contemplates a relationship, there are your jobs and my jobs and get out of my bloody way. Forget dates, presents, celebrations, shopping trips I don’t do them. If you do, do it by yourself, no reciprocation. Just make damned sure there is a never ending supply of red wine and cigarettes in the house, failure to do so incurs all night shopping trips and displeasure!
No discussion is to be tolerated on the mundane, boring or tedious. If you can’t be amusing, witty or verbally vicious, keep your mouth shut! AND GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN! Only the boy was ever allowed in the kitchen as he was used to the speed of a commercial operation. lumbering sclerotic attempts to help, not appreciated if you want to eat today!
Every husband has been fully appreciative of the need for an extremely large greenhouse to keep himself out of the divorce court, they need not know anything about plants but are allowed to admire them from afar, much more appreciated than personal comments which are not allowed. (Comes under tedious!)
I have never understood this constant need for compliments, flattery, clinging and ego bolstering. All should stand on their own two feet with supreme indifference as to what any other thinks of them. If that floats your boat, fine, if not, fine! Piss me off once too often and I’m out of here!
And finally do not accommodate sexual peccadillos of partners. I once allowed a shack up with some advertising executive in Henley, he committed a solecism beyond. I got home first to my apartment. Threw every one of his possessions out of the window including his stereo. Once he collected it all and stuffed it in his car I threw rocks at his car and managed to break all his rear lights and back window, a splendid evening’s work! Subsequently he came unstuck in South Africa by banging a coloured woman and ended up in jail and being deported, all very entertaining!
Personally If I were to suffer such crap as below for about 15 minutes I’d change the model so damned fast it wasn’t true, or , even better, live by yourself!
Boadicea's Chariot 
There are wives. There are fiancées. There are girlfriends. There are even Significant Others. And then there is Christina. Bless ’em all. 🙂
OZ
Christina, you would be surprised how many of those rules apply; well, those appertaining to women, anyway. I cant say that I identify with any of the items on Pseu’s list.
Jesus Mrs. O. I thought it was supposed to be funny, like maybe exaggerating those minor differences in the ways females and males see the world.
Of course I agree with you, I enjoy cooking, but I prep. and cook quickly (I earned my tuition cooking breakfast for hundreds and cannot break eggs using two hands without ruining the yolks) and do not want anyone male or female UNDERFOOT in the kitchen while I am there, hot pans, smoking oil and boiling water do not make for good company, and yes, the shrimp do need to cook for exactly three minutes, not four, and not two and a half. Washing up bowls and dishes before their time is also a waste of water and energy.
I do not however clean houses, during the period I lived alone I hired a cleaner to come and muck me out once a week while I was at work (as a professional she did not want my help or advice either).
If that is so sipu, I don’t blame you being single!!!
I mean are there REALLY idiots that ask ‘Does my bum look big in this?’ out there? Thought that was strictly Essex TV!
Trouble is by the time you discount intellectual pygmies, the uneducated, the terminally boring, the straight up embarrassing, those with bad table manners and even worse dentistry of either sex there isn’t a lot left is there?
And that is without the ‘banging on the kneecaps’ and ‘blown up pneumatic tits’ brigade!
Or the left wing PC itis sufferers, Jesus it might be catching.
God preserve me from those!
Enough to send you screaming for the hills!
Makes the current incumbent look quite civilised!! Memo to self, Do not trade in current model anytime yet!
His biggest crime is playing Wagner too loud, well, silent is too bloody loud on that subject! But I don’t think it is catching.
LW seriously interesting about the kitchen, absolutely spot on, spousal unit will lumber around in mastodon mode right underfoot. Wonder I have never put a hatchet through his head in sheer aggravation.
I leave the kitchen when he is making his lunch, too painful to see the waste of time and the effort could feed a dozen in the same time scale. That becomes a greenhouse moment!
But seriously these kind of comments are all too often voiced in society so I have to wonder do they really come up in the domestic situation that often? I have to say, never in any of my households but then I was never known for running domestic democracies! Complaints in triplicate to my lawyer only accepted!
I don’t do rows, after sticking a kitchen knife through the arm of the first model when he complained about the ironing I always thought it better to retreat before murder was done!
No 2 tried to shoot me with a .357 at which point I thought it wiser to get a divorce as he missed.
No 3 hasn’t been able to catch up with me, yet!
4&5 know what they are in for if I last that long.
Message for OZ, re cardi, if you want one get in touch privately as I need to talk about it to you and have all sorts of measurements etc. Ask Bo for my email.
Have asked previously – Awaiting a reply from the floods.
OZ
Christina, those who live by the sword…….! Not surprised to see a certain level of indecent and inhumane chez toi! 🙂
Absolutely janus!
Anything to relieve the tedium.
Oz if no reply I’ll post it myself tomorrow for you when you are around.
Just in case you missed it
My last post was posted in retliation…. but as a joke, folks! I don’t believe in reinforcing the male / female differences as a rule…..I’m one who believes that, “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it!”
And if both Christina and OZ post a comment on my own blog I will have their emails by my notifications and then I can put them in touch, if that helps.
http://pseu1.wordpress.com/
No worries – an e-mail was sent to OZ with Tina’s e-mail address at about half past midnight, UK time. If it doesn’t get to OZ’s inbox, we’ll have another try. 😕
Nym, worry not! we’re good at spotting spoofs here! 🙂
Nice to see you, old chap! How are the floods treating you?
OK, Bearsy 🙂
Would still be pleased to see anyone who’d like to visit UK in February via my latest post!
Received and sorted. Ta muchly.
OZ
Oz is now in touch, thank you everybody.
I needed all sorts of choices and measurements out of him which I thought too personal to put up here,
he thinks he’s getting a cardi but I expect he’ll get a little tubular garment instead! (With bobbles!)
Perhaps there is a world wide demand for knitted bobbled prophylactics? I could make millions!!
Pseu, I’ll be home in July/August for a family bash, fancy lunch one day?
I’ll settle for the “little tubular garment” as long as it is wolfely, dark grey, sober and not the least bit gay, so bobbles NOOOOOOOOOOO!
I’ll be in the North West 3rd week of August for the Great Wolves’ Diamond Wedding Anniversary Thrash and again sometime later in the year with the NSW if anyone fancies a beer on either visit.
OZ
A visit to Wales, Christina?
Wahoo! Just come off from a long phone call with Christina and, as far as I can ascertain, all of my nethers are still intact. Result! We spent most of the time discussing wool types, measurements, colours and Aran patterns and I shall take delivery of the finished product later in the year.
OZ
pseu I shall be all over the place, Wales, IOW, Devon, Berkshire, just a matter of scheduling! Will let you know when I have the exact dates, I’m sure Oxon isn’t too far off the beaten trail!
OZ whoever heard of a sober grey bobbled willy warmer? We have selected a Shetland wool, must be a pukka British variety, none of your woggo stuff for wolves! Must away and prune roses, the sun shines (for once!).
Awww! You promised faithfully not to go public on the sober grey bobbled willie warmer.
I am shocked.
OZ
Berkshire’s nearest. Let me know when you’re about and we’ll see if we can meet -somewhere halfway between Berkshire and Oxfordshire?