After my trip back home last week I wrote to easyJet, complaining that all the cabin announcements were gabbled in Estuary English at high speed and unlikely to be understood by anybody at all, with obvious implications for passenger safety. I received this reply:
“Thank you for contacting us.
I can understand the level of discontent you have experienced onboard. Please accept my sincere apologies for the inconvenience caused.
Please note that each staff at easyJet is provided with special training before we gets into actual operations. I can sense that our endeavours towards training programme does not ended up in your favour. I extend my apologies for the same.
I acknowledge that the announcement were made onboard was badly spoken and did not understand it properly. For this I have noted your comments and assure that corrective actions will taken by our relevant department.
We pride ourselves on delivering the best customer service and would like to prove this to you. I respect your association and assure that you will receive a warm welcome on your future flights. I hope my email some way pacify your thought whilst choosing our services in the future. ”
Smiley thing – or should it be tears?
Boadicea's Chariot 
Morning Janus
That’s unbelievable.
I received a mail recently giving translations of the appalling pronunciations delivered by announcers on our state English radio and TV, while an amusing read, I’m sympathetic to their plight, for most English is at best a second language, often a third.
Does your reply emanate from the UK? Is it on a letterhead, if so where are they?
(You made me look up gabbled! ;))
Cor strewff and blimey guv, tain’t English as er royul ighness would write now is it.
Had similar at the local Virgin Active last week, the guy was writing on the board some motivation drivel so I corrected his English and spelling. he then proudly announced that he does have an A level in English.
Hmm I despair, and my grammar isn’t that brilliant but compared to some I am a genius.
Janus, you are surely joking! “Pacify your thought?” Come on now, no one would surely write that! If it is a joke then it is quite funny but a little too clever for its own good. If it is for real …. no I don’t believe it! Its Janus having a larf!
I have found on easyJet that the safety announcements are on a prerecorded tape in good English, clearly spoken. The letter you received, on the other hand … Try another airline, innit?
That is a classic. You should send it to Ryan Air who may use it to extract the mick from their rivals.
Shortly after arriving in London I went to the local Waterstones, where there was a sign advertising J.K. Rowling’s latest book. Customers were invited to pre-order copies. I struggled manfully to refrain from asking the staff the difference between pre-order and order.
I just love this story! I am so fed up with organisations employing ‘English speakers’ who have no idea how to communicate in English.
It was actually very amusing, but awful that it was sent out to a disgruntled customer.
My first thought would be that if that is the standard of communication how was their aircraft maintenance?
I’m buggered if I would ever travel by them again and go by train next time!
(Not that I would have travelled by them in the first place, rather not go!)
Airline announcements… When I flew with the Swiss the captain made announcements in High German not that different from Swiss German. Needless to say, I couldn’t understand a word. It was easier to understand Dutch-language announcements on KLM. But then, what does one expect from Easy Jet?
Or Ryan Air? It seems a better idea to spent a few quid more on a better airline.
No, I kid you all not! It’s a genuine reply by email. Now I can reveal that it was signed ‘Sahil’. Does that suggest it emanated from a Subcontinental call-centre?
Sheona, yes, occasionally the cabin-crew has found time to use the prerecorded tapes in both English and Danish but obviously they were pressed for time and customer communications were not the priority they always claim they are.