My mum and I have decided to take a flight home to Germany later on this year. In order to break the monotony of family-related visits we’ve decided to take a 5-day, 4-night holiday to England. Be warned. Be wary. In fact, be frightened.Does anyone have any ideas what we could do for that amount of time? I have lots of ideas, but only a couple are not completely impractical.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Whereabouts Christopher?
Although England’s a small place on the map it does take a lot of time to get around the place, unlike here where I can be 300 miles away within 4 hours moving around in England takes a bit of planning, better to pick a home base and plan from there.
Of all my trips to the UK I think that my visit to Stonehenge probably wowed me the most!
Will you be spending time in London? (I assume that you’re avoiding the Olympics!)
Soutie: we’ll have to fly into London as Birmingham promises to be even worse, so it would probably be in the South East. And yes, we will be avoiding the Olympics like the plague. It will be after they’re all over.
Incidentally, my mother wants to go to Africa within a few years. Do you have any advice?
I always avoid the underground, I much prefer to travel above ground, you don’t see anything underground and everything is always a rush!
Walking, the open top London buses (with guide) or London Cabs are my preferred mode of travel.
Are you wanting to visit the historical sites and museums or do the touristy stuff? I’m an expert on the touristy bits 😉
Always establish where the closest Starbucks is on any given day, there are lots of them and they have great toilets!
Soutie: I suppose mostly historical sites and maybe a museum or two.
It seems best not to crowd too many things into one day as that prevents
enjoying any of it. Maybe one or two touristy things might be nice, but
nothing too excessive.
Good morning Christopher. Africa, as I am sure you realise is a very big place and it is very diverse, visually, culturally, politically, racially and economically. Any suggestions about where to go depends very much on what your mother wants to see and do. Though I have never been to north Africa, I have heard great things about Morocco and I am sure Egypt would be fascinating providing one steers clear of any football matches.
However, when people talk about going to Africa, I think they mostly envision the wild life safaris. The issue here becomes a question of budget and style. It is possible to pay inflated prices to go to Tanzania and see the Serengeti migrations from a zebra painted bus, along with a million other photo-snapping tourists. Or you can pay even more to go to an isolated private lodge where you will be waited on hand and foot by staff and given personal game viewing trips all in beautiful but luxurious surroundings. Or you can do your own thing. Rent a car, drive through the parks and stay in Park Lodges.
For sheer scale of numbers and for the height of luxury, I would suggest that Tanzania and Kenya are probably the best. But those countries can also can be the most tacky. Those tour buses really can be a dreadful eyesore. The infrastructure there is terrible and once out side the protection of the tour guides, she will see just how decayed those nations have become since the end of colonisation.
South Africa’s Kruger Park probably offers the most typical easy to manage and safe experience while offering value for money. She can do fancy lodges or self catering or somewhere in between. All safe and comfortable with plenty to see.
If she is prepared to be a little more adventurous, I would suggest an itinerary that saw your mother fly into Johannesburg where she could do the “Soweto thing” and see the economic and cultural heart of South Africa, which might include a trip to Sun City. From there fly Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe, which truly are spectacular and with plenty to do and see, besides bungee jumping. Spend a few days there, then drive down through Botswana, including Chobe Game Reserve, into South Africa (She will need an appropriate vehicle, not necessarily a 4×4, but it can be arranged. She will see plenty of game and get a proper experience of wild Africa. Less emphasis on the comfort but more on the getting close to nature, right in amongst the animals. (A friend of mine did that recently with his two young daughters and they all raved about it.) She could then drive to Cape Town to the beautiful wine regions, fantastic restaurants, great shopping and coastal routes that leave Big Sur in their wake. Cape Town has a Mediterranean climate unlike the rest of the country, one has to consider the seasons when coming here.
I have plenty of friends who organise tours all over Africa, so let me know if you want an introduction.
Christopher, if you want to do history, London is probably your focus. I enjoy taking the river bus up and down the Thames to spot buildings and see the latest developments – accompanied by a resident daughter or two.
For ease of travel in London, buy an Oyster card for £20 or so – which will give you access to all the tubes and buses you need for a day.
Akshully B’ham airport is not bad at all – and from there you can do the real Britain: Shakespeare’s Warwickshire, the Derbyshire Dales, North Wales’ coast and mountains. A quick google on National Express will give you bus connections to all the local towns. Try Stratford-upon-Avon, Ashbourne and Matlock, Chester and Llandudno.
Christopher, as for England, the museums and galleries of London are magnificent and many of them are free. If you do not know London well, it will blow your socks off. The restaurants and scenery along the Thames are lovely as I am sure Araminta from Henley will attest. Go to Oxford and rent a punt. Head down to Plymouth and see from where it was that all those murderers, thieves, rapists, spies and other assorted nefarious villains set sail to found the penal colony that became Australia. From there it is a 3.5 hour drive to Portsmouth, (go via Dartmouth and the Naval College) where you can visit HMS Victory.
Sipu: my mother wants to go to Africa to experience the cultural and ethnic diversity.
She’s interested especially in Morocco, Algeria, and Tunisia. Yes, Algeria. Her favourite
writer is Camus. She would also like to see Senegal, Namibia, Botswana, Swaziland,
Lesotho, Cameroon, Mozambique, and Ethiopia. She, in her spare time, enjoys
studying African histories, cultures, and literatures. The animals might be nice to see,
but for both of us (as I would be tagging along) the land and people are more important.
Janus: it will probably be London and Oxfordshire. One for the history, the other for
the culture and relative ease of getting there. It appears that the duration of my graduate
programme could well be cut down 25-50 pc, depending on how many courses they transfer
so I will have more time to see different parts of the UK if, when, I go back to the old world
for a spell.
Christopher, there are several good buses direct to Oxford from Victoria Coach Station. The village of Woodstock and Blenhheim Palace are a few miles north. Stratford is only half an hour further!
Many good ideas here about London. If you have the chance, take a trip to Bath. The historical sites there are all close to each other and the Roman Baths are just magnificent. Again, start with an open top tour bus trip.
In my struggle for intellectual honesty I must confess that I had not heard of Camus. He seems to have been an interesting man. And I have discovered what a ‘pied noir’ was.
A quiz question, which some may consider absurd:
“Which Nobel Prize winner had a potential career in football cut short as a result of contracting tuberculosis at the age of 17?”
Sipu, to be intellectually honest I had! But your Nobel fella (do clever girls play football?) must be pre-1950 or African. OK, I’ll say Mandela.
Christopher, your mother may experience a bit of culture shock when she gets to Morocco, Tunisia and Algeria, though I would not touch the latter with a barge-pole.
Sipu: Camus was a brilliant writer. Read “the Adulterous Woman” if you get the chance. It’s about a Pied Noir woman who falls in love with the Algerian desert and begins to understand the Arab and Berber Algerians better than the French.
Janus: thanks for your advice! I will bring the Woodstock bit up with my mum. She’s very much interested in such things.
FEEG: thank you. I’m not that comfortable with doing overly touristy things, but I might make an exception for that. How far is Bath from London?
Sheona: yes, it will be a culture shock for her. She is strong-willed, independent, and also a manageress. She’s used to having men obey her.
Christopher, the Romans could march from Londinium to Bath in about four days. The train will take less if you’re lucky with the variety of snow/leaves/wind, etc.
Hello Christopher.
It’s a very short visit, so you really cannot be too ambitious, but it depends on the time of the year, with regard to visiting National Trust properties, if that is one of your plans. Many of them close down in the winter. The Thames is not good for boating in the winter either but many of the market towns on the Thames are well worth a visit, as are the villages.
Let me know what interests you and your mother, and I’ll come up with some suggestions! Dinner at my local pub?
All the National Trust stuff is on line now, so you can plan that ahead. If I wanted to see the UK I’d actually avoid London and get out into the countryside and smaller places. You could do worse than Oxfordshire – lots of places to visit, without costing the earth,
Sorry, Janus I did not mean to be obscure, but it was Camus himself. He played goalie for his club that went on to cup glory in the year following his incapacitation. Later in life he was asked which he preferred, theatre or football. He was adamant that it was football. Obviously he had never heard of rugby.
Christopher, your mother’s disadvantage is that she is a woman and we don’t count for much in Arab countries. You will have to be the one who keeps telling the taxi driver that you want to go to point A and not to his cousin’s carpet warehouse. At one point it got so bad I considered throwing a fainting fit in the car so my husband could say “My wife is ill. Back to the hotel immediately.”
My mother and I have settled on a preliminary plan. We will first go to Oxfordshire for a few days before heading to London for a couple days in order to be close to the airport. The Oxfordshire base will be Henley-on-Thames, in London it will likely be Covent Garden. My mum does not wish to be too ambitious with our holiday plans as it is such a short visit.
Pseu: I will look into the National Trust, thank you.
Sheona: Yes, that is a bit difficult. If we do go to North Africa one of my friends,
a Moroccan-born Israeli, would likely tag along as she speaks Arabic and, as a
former IDF commander who saw active duty in the Israel-Lebanon war, is not one
to be trifled with. My interest in Africa is more Sub-Saharan.
Christopher, as you probably recall we have cherished ladies resident in the Henley and Oxford areas! 🙂
Get an Oyster card for London. It is the cheapest way to travel – since they are valid for all Underground, London Rail and buses.You will pay a maximum of around £7-8 a day.
I’d suggest one of the art galleries, a trip out to Hampton Court / or the Tower and a museum.
It’s a shame you can’t get to York – my favourite city in the UK!
Boa, g’dag! See #6. Snap! 🙂
Christopher, dinner in Covent garden? If you want English food, one of the best pie shops in England is handy…
Or if you’re feeling flush, book atable for lunch at Simpson’s, just a step away on the Strand, for the best roasts you have ever experienced.
PS. In London, I would suggest the Tower and Westminster Abbey are must-visits – try to get on one of the tours guided by a Yeoman-Warder at the Tower.
Last year I took a guided tour of the Abbey – well worth it since one gets access to areas not open to the General Public.
If you intend going to the theatre book as soon as you confirm your London dates, good seats are impossible to get at short notice, I see The Lion King is advertising best seats at £60, that’s not bad considering I paid £55 four years ago.
Also whatever attraction you intend visiting (e.g. London Eye, Madam Tussauds etc.) book on the internet, this allows you to specify a time and you skip the queues, trust me, there is a queue for everything in London!
And, be early, the English don’t get started ’till about 10am, so by visiting attractions in the morning you will find less people and more importantly you miss the school outings!
Bye the way, the London Eye ticket includes a trip up the Thames.
Christopher: Bath is about 125 miles from London. Motorway all the way or there is a good and fast train service.
I didn’t know that – I will look out for it, thanks Boadicea.
PS – did you mean the Verger-led tour?
Aye weel, Christopher,
I wish your mum and yourself joy of your brief sojourn in the English bit of the UK. I have to say that I think that our fellow cherished authors have done you proud with their suggestions,
But, if I were you, I would stick to London for such a short visit. So much to see in our Capital. As suggested, open-top bus and river bus to orientate and then get seriously stuck in. In no particular order, The Globe, The Tower, Tate Modern, Westminster Abbey, the Houses of Parliament and the whole history involved in the stroll from there up past the Cenotaph to Trafalgar Square, the British Library, Hampton Court, Covent Garden, Foyles Book Shop and environs, Richmond Hill, the Thames itself at every point of contact, St Pauls, Highgate Cemetery, so many superb museums, art galleries, historic sites and just basically everything about said Capital.
I would never want to live there, of course, but it is utterly memorable as a place to visit.
Mind, as Dr Johnson should have said:-
‘ When one is tired of London, it is time to visit Embra.’
So, if the Great Wen does .pall after a couple of days, you could always hop a plane or train up here, You would be more than welcome.
John, I agree with most of what you say except the the Tate Modern (sorry, but I insist on using the definite article) which I think is a massive load of pretentious bollocks. Much better The Tate Britain, National Gallery and nearby NPG. Also, the V&A and British Museum. Harrods Food Halls are spectacular as is the sushi at Harvey Nicks. Greenwich is well worth a visit. Bear in mind, GMT may not be around for much longer.
Good evening Sipu. In a very real sense, one feels that there should be room for pretentious bollocks at some point in one’s journey through this vale of tears.
We’ll have to agree to differ about (The) Tate Modern. A lot of the exhibits are, admittedly, indifferent and over-rated but there is the odd stunner. And the location, the approach thereto and the building itself are mind-blowing, in my opinion.
Á chacun son goût (is that right this time?)
GMT will always be around, even if the spoil-sports change its moniker.
Boadicea: thanks for that. My mother appreciates great architecture and she is sure to appreciate
the Abbey.
Mr Mackie: One day it will be Scotland. Once I complete my master’s programme I hope to find a job
somewhere in northern Europe. That way I will be close enough to see more things. It’s not that hard to get to Embra, Aberdeen, or Weedgieville.
Sipu: I will agree with you on the Tate Modern. Modern art is generally rubbish. One of my friends has been
trying to get me to go with him to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art for over a year and it’s been a difficult process for him. Can’t see why the Tate Modern would be much better. I doubt anyone wants to hear my ranting about the evils of modern art so I’ll end my assessment of it there. The V&A is certainly on my list and has been for some time, as has the British Museum.