I am apparently going straight to Hell for being cynical about Anthropomorphic Global Warming. I shall immediately fire up the barbie, crack open the eskie wherein resides an everlasting supply of cold ones and stick up two fingers to Ol’ Nick. Christina, Rick and Ferret have already booked their tickets to eternal damnation. Any other takers and what do you want cooked?
OZ
Boadicea's Chariot 
I’m in, not sure whether to drive up in the XC90 or TD90, perhaps we’ll bring both. do you provide covered parking?
😉
Count me in! A just dead eye fillet steak will do nicely thanks… 🙂
Bring both and of course there is covered parking. Molten lava burns don’t just buff out, y’know. At the other end of the spectrum, when we went to visit friends in northern Norway one New Year our host barbied reindeer fillets. He included a glacé cherry on his plate and ran around in the snow shouting, “I’ve got the nose, I’ve got the nose”
OZ
Splendid stuff, I’m rather partial to smoked turkey, not too fussed about its origin as it seems a fair few of them are to be found reading the Guardian these days!
Can we please start the BBQ to coincide with Armageddon so that we have ring side seats?
I want to get to watch the left leaning, harp twanging, breast beating ‘do gooders’ being thrown off the steps of the pearly gates by a bunch of heavies dropping their guilts as they go to impede their plunge into purgatory.
We are definitely NOT having them in hell, not socially acceptable!
I shall arrange my urn to be easily opened from within.
Be a total bugger if one was trapped in there and couldn’t get out to join in the fun.
Boadicea – I think it was Ferret who coined the immortal phrase, “I want my steak cooked so that a half-decent vet could have it up and mooing in half-an-hour.”
I concur.
OZ
We shouldn’t, we shouldn’t……..but God has to have one hell of a sense of humour if he made this world!
SOB will probably turn up with outstretched plate too.
Anyway, got to go, got one of my elderly hospice widows coming this afternoon for tea.
She may be 85 but no turkey!
Prim English afternoon tea…..
Note to self, must wear mantle of appropriate judaeo christian ethic, mustn’t frighten the natives.
Thanks for the entertainment!
Christina – For you I would even bring a tin opener for your urn to ensure you miss nothing, especially the ringside seat for Armageddon. Smoked turkey is do-able, but I draw the line at sullying my party with a spatchcocked Grauniad reader.
OZ
Totters off cackling…………………………
Well, I for one will not be joining you, OZ.
It is the height of irresponsibility to be firing up a barbie in that location. Surely you realise that Hell is already suffering from serious and possibly irreversable, anthropomorphic infernal warming as a result of the ongoing combustion of all those benighted souls who have insisted on taking the broad path of critical analysis and consideration of evidence? It seems to me that all certaintists, whatever particular subject happens to be their particular field of pontification, are convinced that walking that path leads to eternal perdition and an inevitable increase in the carbon footprint of Hades.
I believe that said certainists feel that is far better to choose the narrow path of utter certitude that their particular belief systems and values have greater moral strength and validity than those of anybody else. They appear to me to believe themselves to be saints. I am happy for them.
What worries me is that they seem to be so certain of their own rightness and of the wrongness in all respects of those who disagree with them. It’s maybe an age thing. When I was young, I ‘knew’ so many things were right with absolute certainty and without actually having any experience or evidence to support or test my knowledge. Now that I am less young, I am not very certain about very much, if anything. I keep having this feeling that I could be wrong.
Doesn’t stop me from continuing to hold strong beliefs and opinions and being prepared to defend them from the depth of my acquired knowledge and experience. But I also enjoy the debate and do not feel the need to insult the strongly held beliefs and opinions of others even if they are, in my opinon, total keech. I just wish that certaintists could extend the same courtesy to us.
On second thoughts, book me a space. Tell Ferret that I will be bringing the Blessed Margaret Thatcher as a guest. I’m sure that he’ll like her once he gets to know her.
Mind, she might not get past the bouncers. A bit of a certaintist, when I think about it.
Mr Mackie, sir. Pull up a plate. An Embra lawyer is a deadly combination surely doomed to eternal perdition. 🙂
OZ
Not the last supper, but the Everlasting Supper, though in the flames I’m sure I’d be toast pretty quick. However what a splendid vision is presented!
PapaG – You can pull up a plate too. How do you like your steak?
OZ
Meu lobo: what do I have to do to earn my place? I’ve already become an unofficial spokesman of the “quit whingeing and get back to studying” side of the student body. I also a global warming infidel as well as a card-carrying conservative in San Francisco. Come on!
That said, I’ll bring lamb, sausage, prime cuts of beef in marinade so good that people drive 70 miles to get it, and port. Make mine so rare that I can hear it scream in pain as I cut it.
I am also, not I also. Grr. Just for that I’ll bring gin, tonic, limes, and a bottle of aged tawny port.
Christopher – In these circumstances I think you can safely consider yourself invited.
OZ
But what if Dante got it right, JM, and Hell is ice and cold? No problem with global warming then.
The Vikings’ hell was ice and snow!
I think that the adherents of Eastern religions, such as Christianity, could not envisage it ever being too cold, but did know about being too hot. The followers of Northern religions could not imagine it ever being too hot, but were aware of what happened if it was too cold….
Thus God was not only made in the image of men, Hell represented men’s greatest fears. 🙂
NIce Polar Bear steak will do me followed by Seal flambe.
Eek!
Back end of cow, well done, for me! Loads of horseradish, too.
This is the humane way of eating animals, won’t do that, then……..
OMG and Zen – You’re in, although polar bear steak is a bit of a tall order and I do have issues with bem passado steak.
FEEG – You are welcome too despite reminding me how little fun eating is without the hunting bit. 🙂
OZ
Am I too late, OZ?
I’ll have to make the journey on foot, one has to consider one’s carbon whatsit and I may not be able to carry more that an ear of corn or two, but I could hopefully arrive by Spring. I won’t take up much room and I promise I will not argue with you. I’ll be a shadow of my former self after the journey, so I would appreciate a glass of restorative wine, if you would be so kind.
PS. I await your invitation, but meanwhile, I’ll darn the hole in the knee of my cossie, just in case in will be warm enough to take a dip in your pool.
Araminta – You would be most welcome it goes without saying, as would Bilby. A glass or two of something restorative will be waiting. Just don’t forget your erstwhille ward and book three return rickets from Hades to Henley.
OZ
Minty: I will bring an Amador County moscato for you. It’s very refreshing.
That clip of the pig that wishes to be eaten amused me greatly. I love the books but hadn’t seen the TV show
If I remember rightly, wasn’t the HHGTTG beast in the restaurant at the end of the universe some kind of cow?
Mornin’ Ferret and Pseu. I thought it might have been an Arcturian mega-cow, but on consulting my well-thumbed copy of the HHGTTG, Douglas Adams (may His Name be praised) describes it merely as “a large dairy animal……a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an inhgratiating smike on its lips.”
Sounds yummy anyway.
OZ
i thought it was a cow – but having re-looked at the clip I wasn’t prepared to be ‘certain’… But a ‘dairy animal’ sounds suspiciously like a cow. 🙂
Bovine is fairly descriptive too. If it were a pig the descriptive would be Porcine n’es pa?
Whatever it is – I think having an animal trying to entice me to eat it would rather put me off my dinner!
The only time I’ve ever seriously considered becoming a vegetarian was after a visit to a food market in China. I was dismayed to find live animals (most notably cats) and dead animals (suspiciously dog-like) on offer…
To all you bovine speculators, the first couple of lines of the HHGTTG sketch tells you what the meat they are going to meet is 🙂
Boadicea: where in China did you see that?
I didn’t see any of it. The only dogs I saw were pets and
most Chinese I was with wouldn’t even consider eating dog
or cat meat. This was in the Wu area.
Cheers, OZ and Christopher.
🙂
OZ, I do feel you more than patient with Ethel, wretched child that she is, so we will arrange for her removal when leave. It seems only fair, but depressing. 😦
Hi Ara and Oz
I have to say that I have some concerns about all the disparaging references to Ethel which you both persist in making. I believe that you should be far more positive about her talents and abilities. Particularly given the location of this proposed barbie.
If I were you, I would have a word with the Licensee of Hell. I reckon that he could find a ready use for Ethel. She seems to me to have been spawned for a career in tormenting.
You could both be out of there, Ethel-free, if you can sell him the idea.
Christopher
I think we were in Guilin. The guides varied considerably – with some wanting to show us a great deal more than we were scheduled to see and others treating us as if we were a thorough nuisance!
That particular guide asked if we wanted to stop in a village (fascinating!) and if we would like to go around a market. We were in a bit of a hurry so I just let the video camera roll as we walked around. I’ll dig out my DVD and check on the exact place later on today.
Erm, point of order, Mr Mackie. All I am trying to do is to get the little darling back to her (somewhat reluctant) loved ones. Eff is far too – how can I put this? – challenging for me to make disparaging references and I have to admit she has been very useful with the competition hexes.
OZ
Nice bit of endangered panda steak, let’s go the whole hog and eat everything going, the Japs do.
Smug linkey thingy
No matter – I’m going to Hell for a lot more than seeing through the AGW scam. The barbie’s still on.
OZ
Christopher – I could take you to a number of restaurants around Shen Zhen… Everything from Aardvark to Zaisan mole voles. Plus coffee made with beans that have been passed through a (live) rodent…
Bravo: ah ha, the Cantonese area. It’s quite a bit different than the Wu, greater Shanghai, area where I was. It is difficult for me to go there since the Chinese I usually go with, a native of Chekiang Province, simply refuses to acknowledge that the Cantonese are people, much less Chinese and would rather die than step foot in a province south of his own. I wanted to go to Amoy but he simply told me to get stuffed saying that if I wanted to go to Fukien I would have to do so alone.