Signs

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:

“Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:

“Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”

On a Plumber’s truck:

“We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber’s truck:

“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

On a Church’s Bill board:

“7 days without God makes one weak.”

At a Tyre Shop:

“Invite us to your next blowout.”

At a Towing company:

“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

On an Electrician’s truck:

“Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Nonsmoking Area:

“If we see smoke,

We will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door:

“Push. Push. Push.”

At an Optometrist’s Office:

“If you don’t see what you’re looking for,

You’ve come to the right place.”

On a Taxidermist’s window:

“We really know our stuff.”

On a Fence:

“Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!”

At a Car Dealership:

“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don’t, you will be.”

In a Restaurant window:

“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a Propane Filling Station:

“Thank heaven for little grills.”

RADIATOR SHOP:

“Best place in town to take a leak.”

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises.”