Thought from the greatest living Scots Thinker –
Billy Connolly’s Statement of the Century:
‘If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?’
A Thought from Billy Connolly
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Boadicea's Chariot 
Another thought from the Big Yin.
“Never trust a man who, left alone with a tea cosy, does not try wearing it on his head!”
I refer you to this
https://charioteers.org/2011/10/31/publication-at-long-last/
I’m still on chapter one!