One ditto at a time

There is an extremely small word that Lb for Lb could be the strongest in the written form of the English language. This word is ditto. Nobody ever writes ditto. Ditto is one of the least written words in our vocabulary. Little ditto has a symbol and the symbol is “. Ditto, of course, means to repeat. “ is a great thing to have up your sleeve if you can’t be bothered writing out “stayed in and watched TV” in your diary entry day after day. That five word sentence could be written in shorthand with five dittos. Ditto is also very simple to write being as it is a small downwards (or upwards, if you’re the glass half-full kind of person) two marks on the paper.

Ditto, as well as being not written often, is not spoken often. Rarely, in a conversation will a person repeat their quote with a ditto, or ditto, ditto remark. This would be absurd. Consider the following conjectural statement that might have been uttered at a party. “A spiky fence is a Mohawk to climb. Ditto, ditto.” Notwithstanding the fact that the speaker should have said ditto eight times instead of two, repeating his assertion word for word would have been more powerful than using the lacklustre double ditto, in this instance. It is in writing that ditto has its force.

And none more so than in the, toilets were cleaned form that hangs on the wall of pub latrines. These toilets were washed by such and such on such a date. The spreadsheet A4 paper is branched in such a way that it cries out for dittos. After the first signature our assiduous sanitary engineers can simply stroke ditto, ditto instead of their name thus freeing up more time to concentrate on the thankless task at hand.

The writer Jack Torrance should have known better. His shining magnum opus, All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy could have been the King of ditto books. Admittedly, his rapid fire sentences were delivered in a variety of styles and paragraphs that were breath taking, it would still have been better if he’d written.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
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