A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side.
He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this crocodile’s mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. ‘Then he’ll open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his credentials and related parts in the crocodile’s open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile really, really hard on the top of its head.
The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up……….
“I’ll try it – Just don’t hit me so hard with the beer bottle!”
Boadicea's Chariot 
A man walks into a bar and asks for a pint of bitter, the barman can see that the man has a toad growing from the top of his head so he leans close to him and asks quietly “How on Earth did that happen?” The toad replies “I dunno, it started out as a bump on my bum”