I was alerted to this earlier today and thought it apposite for a Charioteer’s quiet Saturday afternoon even though the spelling and grammar are both a bit iffy. This item is currently up for sale on eBay and you have to sympathise with the bloke.
You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700
This was my wife’s, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels…
The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.
I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400…
As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street…perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed…Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel’s…
So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel’s address to one in a town far far away…My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn’t realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.
She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.
I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems…
With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead…Words were spoken, accusations were made… The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity…
I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault…
I wasn’t the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil Dick Nigel’s house…After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel’s cockroach infested hovell…
Good luck to them both… may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed…I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don’t want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night.
All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself…
I’m sure someone somewhere can make this work…
As an after thought…
There is no returns for this…I really don’t want it back…The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song…and if the price is right…maybe a curry to boot…
So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause…
Good Luck
Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else…
eBay has warned that the description contravenes their editorial policy and may delete it, so I have posted the text just in case. At the time of writing the item can be found here
OZ
Boadicea's Chariot 
I’m sorry for the poor man, but this very entertaining. Thanks, OZ.
He should have re-programmed the sat-nav to REALLY go to her sister’s house!
OZ:
Try this linky thing
http://goo.gl/oJSOC
Ta ever so FEEG. 🙂 How did you do that because my usual ‘linkey thing’ html wouldn’t do it this time despite several tries?
OZ
It might be too long for WordPress. I just used the Google goo.gl URL shortener. Could also have used bit.ly
Your link works fine for me OZ – what’s the problem?
No, FEEG, it isn’t “too long for WordPress”.
Hiya Bearsy and thanks for your concern. When I wrote the thread I used a bit of code I found somewhere on t’InterWeb that allowed the link to appear in blue and which you could custom to appear with text such as ‘linkey thing’ or suchlike. I have omitted the from the beginning and end of the following code in the hope that you can see all the original example
a href=”http://my.telegraph.co.uk/o_zangado/blog/2009/04/19/tech_support”> link text</a
The 'link text' bit was where you could add your own wording to make 'linkey thing' or whatever appear. This time, trying to put the url of the eBay site into the equation between the two " did not work. FEEG kindly suggested an alternative in his #3 and I did a c&p of that. Someone, presumably Soutie who is probably now asleep, subsequently edited that to its present incarnation.
If you have a bullet-proof bit of code that allows me to duplicate tthe appearance of the link as it now is I shall be eternally grateful.
As an aside, how do you make a link target a specific part of a previous post as in when you're judging the results of a phoo comp, for example, which has a number of entries on the same thread?
OZ
“I have omitted the from the beginning…” There was supposed to be one of those “less than” and “more than” sideways arrow jobbies in there. God, I hate html.
OZ
Hi OZ – I love technical questions that I can answer – thanks for the Dorothy Dixer! 🙂
First, those dratted “angle brackets”
You can’t normally type them in a comment or a post (for reasons that are far too techy to explain), but there are ways of showing them if you really want to – in a comment. The way of showing them in a post is too complicated to even begin to tell you.
For an ‘open angle bracket’ – < – you have to type < and for its sibling – > – you have to type > . To show both the brackets and their codes here, I’ve had to use an extra trick – don’t worry about it!
This won’t work in a post, but will always work in a comment. Actually, it can work in a post, but only if you’re an HTML-savvy whiz, or darned lucky.
Secondly, using the ‘A tag’
Your example is fine – nothing wrong with it – and it should always work in a comment, but be very careful to ensure that both the opening and closing double quotation marks are present in the href. In a post it will only work if you paste it in ‘HTML’ view. It won’t work if you paste it in ‘Visual’ view (probably).
But you don’t have to do that in a post – there’s a much easier way that always works. So read on …
Thirdly, how to do it (easily and properly) in a post
Read this page. Take it slowly, because it tells you all sorts of interesting things, but persevere with it. If it makes no sense to you, let me know and I’ll provide a simplified version. Just look for the icon on the top bar of the editor that looks like a diagonal link of a chain; that’s the secret.
Lastly, how to link to specific comments in posts
You’ll recall that every comment has a serial number on its top line, immediately following the date-time stamp. This comment has serial #9, for example.
Place your mouse over this serial number (the cursor changes to a hand), right click and select “Copy Link address”. The specific url for that comment will now be in your clip-board, ready to be pasted wherever you want to put it. In this case – https://charioteers.org/2011/09/24/hell-hath-no-fury/#comment-67128
It’s the #comment-67128 that makes it specific.
Enjoy! 😀
Sob!
OZ
Sniffle! Reading slowly and thanks for the updated guides. This may take some time.
OZ
Good man!
A couple of little extras, which may help.
É muito mais fácil do que aprender Português 😆
Guilty as charged 😉 I also tidied up the comments on bluebelle’s post, but not here (I thought that I’d leave that to you Oz)
HTML, I write everything requiring a link or picture or any html whatsoever in the ‘add new post’ facility, besides doing the html links for me it allows me to format my comment and best of all preview it!
🙂
Soutie – that’s all very well, but the images can then end up the wrong size for the comment box, and some code sequences have no effect whatsoever. I have advised Charioteers not to do this because I am tired of having to come along and spend up to an hour the next morning putting things right. Particularly when this is followed by certain Charioteers either sulking or abusing me. Or both. 🙄
What was the problem on Bleuebelle’s post?
What are the comment problems in this thread?
Oh!, okay, in that case delete my reference.
No ‘problem’, Oz and FEEG discussed Oz’s html problem in the comments, if you look at the deleted comments you will see them (2) I simply removed them.
Once again not a ‘problem’ but the references to Oz’s ‘linky thing’ (in the main post) not working became obsolete and confusing once it was fixed
Many thanks Soutie.
No, I’ll not remove your comment. After all you’re a moderator and you know what you’re doing with HTML, so obviously “the rules” don’t apply to you! 😆
Anyway, it’s OZ’s post and I’d hate to remove things that he might want kept.
Mornin’ all and thanks again for helping a thick wolf. I’ll leave things as they are if that’s all right with you as the exchanges, particularly Bearsy’s guidance which I am still digesting, may assist other Charioteers.
Soutie – please could you email the exact bit of html you used to produce the “can be found here” linkey in the main body of this thread. Ta ever so. 🙂
OZ
OZ, you can read that code yourself, without Soutie having to e-mail it to you, by editing your post, clicking on the HTML tab in the editor and scrolling down to the bottom. 😕
Oh, I didn’t know that either. I’m really not very good with ‘pooters and their workings. 😦
OZ
You’re a great
blokewolf. Cheer up! 🙂Sniffle! 🙂
OZ
Please ignore this bit. I’m just going to practice my newly acquired html skills without messng up Bearsy’s front page with a new post. I’ll delete this comment when I’m finished.
Hums distractedly to self in a Bilbyesque way with one eye on the Singapore GP.
OZ
Test 1 I have a dream
It works! Well bugger me. Erm, I mean I laugh in the face of computers. Haha!
Well done OZ!
Thanks Boadicea. Please could you ask His Bearship to post a link specifically to my #22 so I can read the html. This is just in case I ever have to judge another comp.
OZ
The Bear is sleeping, but this is what you want…
Link requested by OZ
You’ll notice that it doesn’t say comment 22, but comment 67164 – that’s because the latter is the number of the comment on the whole site (I think!). That’s why you need to copy the URL in the comment you want to link to…
🙂