Fellow Charioteers, please allow me a small rant of a laughable nature. I shall try to be brief, but would be interested in any similar ludicrous examples if you have any!
No.1 daughter needed a new passport for her holiday to Tenerife next week – not surprisingly as a 15 year old she left getting the photos until the last minute thus meaning I had to make an appointment and attend the delightful rural backwater of Peterborough where there’s a regional passport office on a day off. Ho hum, I don’t mind wasting a day off for her, that’s what parents do, apparently.
What I did mind was this: I arrived early, being a sensible chap and got in line – already at 10am quite lengthy. Delighted I was to see all the security staff were English natives, I hear that still is the case in some parts. I patiently queued as one does until I reached about 5th in line when the chap the front was told to go stand over there very firmly. His crime? I found out a few moments later…..he was too early.
When my turn came to be securified, I was asked for my appointment time.
“10.30” I replied, pleased and proud at my punctuality. It was 10.15am. There were no queues at the reception desk ahead where one is given a ticket for the next available booth AND there were empty booths with civil servants waiting to do some work. So no queue after security.
“Stand over there then”, I was told with a firm pointed finger. “What, Why?” I cried. No reply. So being English I dutifully went to the naughty corner with the others.
Now, beautifully, every person in the queue behind me then got the same treatment, they had all dared to be early!
Now the English moment….. from behind came two or three flustered stressed chaps, all separately, who were puzzled by the odd queue standing to one side. They stood at the back for a while until some kindly soul pointed them to the security guard. Off they went to be asked “What time is your appointment?
“10am” came the reply each time.
“Come through then” they were told. It was 10.20 FFS!
My rant – only in England would the early be punished and the late rewarded!! Chuffing country!! GGrrrrr
Of course, I carried on in true English fashion and said nothing!
Oh, and of the 8 booths of civil servants in operation that day……only one head covering, three obese gingers, a couple of eastern Europeans and a lovely local lady who was efficient, engaging and jolly good at her job! Delightful!
Boadicea's Chariot 
You are right Cuprum, only in England!
Console yourself with the thought that in the Mediterranean region, you would have been kept waiting for several hours while assorted cousins, celebrities and crooks jumped the queue.
I can give you my experience with the German passport office in comparison. There is a queue and someone comes in about half an hour late. It was a busy day, and the late-comer is told that she has to make another appointment as there is no time for her that day as too many people are waiting.
The worst is with the Chinese, as they have no concept of appointments and reservations, at least not at their visa office, which means that one risks waiting 6-10 hours to get a bloody passport stamped — if everything is perfect.
You know, the more of these Byzantine stories I hear from the UK of re arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic the happier I become at the thought of not having to bother to come back again.
Well now and again the British get in a strop. At the American Embassy in London, there are always huge crowds getting visas with immense queues. My boy, who looked British, by passed the queue and walked straight in to much shouts of complaint and general abuse.
He actually wanted to renew his American passport as a dual citizen which was achieved immediately, evidently these queues for visas last all day much to the discontent of us natives!
I did once get caught up in such a queue at the Dallas Immigration office, it was about 100F. and spousal unit and I were the only whites in a huge batch of Mexican field labourers. He went and complained vigorously to the guard who hastily removed me to a chair in the air conditioned auditorium. After that he wrote a vicious letter to his congressman, wonderful to relate I always had a private appointment after that, so much for the so called egalitarianism of the USA!
People get the treatment they deserve, stand up and complain, VOCIFEROUSLY!!!!!!
Cob my sentiments as well.
When daughter was born we booked up to fly to Greece to show her off to the family, wife’s passport left us within 48 hours to have daughter added as we were off in 6 weeks.
Passport strike so all delayed.
2 days before departure passport still not returned despite phone calls screams etc.
Mother to the rescue. she met me at work took a letter and my passport form me and the wife to go and pick up wife’s passport directly.
She went straight to the front of the queue (being Greek means “what’s a queue”)
Met the rag head (she hated rag heads) and demanded the passport duly stamped with daughters info. Rag head said we should have applied earlier for a passport (what before she was born?) and told mother to take a seat. Mother stood there and said no one was passing her until the passport was returned dully filled in with daughters info and the whole queue could just stand there.
They threatened her at which point she said she was an old lady and couldn’t stand so unless they wanted an old lady to collapse and be in the paper they had better hurry,
Passport found daughter added and returned within 20 minutes.
Cuprum: At least there was the possibility of making an appointment, when I was flogging through the naturalisation process in the US I was told that at my several interviews I would have to be at the office by 7:30 am and would be given a number which would determine my interview time, of course 300 people show up at 7:00am and if you arrive at seven thirty the best you can do is number 301. Appointments apparently were seen by the Carter Administration as “Discriminatory” , I agree, they are discriminating against the ill prepared.
Regarding English queueing there is an excellent book called “Watching the English” by an anthropologist named Kate Fox. It devotes a full chapter to English queueing rules. A typical rule “When waiting for anything, an English person even when alone forms an orderly queue of ONE.” For instance when waiting for a bus the first arrival may hover near, but not at, the bus stop, but as soon a second person approaches they will move decisively to the bus stop sign making it very clear who is first.
CO, “People get the treatment they deserve, stand up and complain, VOCIFEROUSLY!!!!!!”
What a narrow world, you inhabit!
Janus, I presume you are related to the Scolopacidae?
Co, glad you asked! I am akshully a godwit.
it is the same on the roads, roadworks coming up so idiots pull into one lane when 2 or 3 are available, causes a long tail back and slow traffic. Why not do as they do in Europe (Northern not Southern) and zip in at the last second alternately. traffic flows faster and no long tail backs.
CO, PS, life’s a beach.