WHO IS JACK SCHITT ?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack
Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know
Jack Schitt!’ Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond
in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt,
the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply
religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla
Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married
Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack
and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and
because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous
name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they
produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper
Announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd,
and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the
world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa
Schitt.
Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you
can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
Boadicea's Chariot 
How really strange, this was in draft form and I didn’t actually post it.
Not guilty. 😕
Not to worry Bearsy, Who gives a Schitt. 🙂
🙂
Good morning Toc, love it, really love this one. 🙂
A wonderful way to start the morning Toc, thank you! Brilliant! 😀
I think that Dip Schitt lives next door to me.
Can you believe the arse had the bloody cheek to knock on my front door at O.F.F.S. hrs in the morning? 3:15 this morning and there he is ringing my fooking doorbell!
Luckily for him I was still awake practicing my bagpipes at the time, but the nerve of some folk honestly! 😀
On an even lighter note, it seems the windsor old bill are to set up shop in some old public conveniences.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-13088751
At last they can issue a press statement saying they DO have something to go on. 🙂
It wasn’t a press statement, it was a leak.
I’ll get my coat.
😀
Bearsy,
They have been campaigning for it for ages but the local council refused to spend a penny.
Taxi for Ferret!
Sorry you’ve been inconvenienced, Ferret. 😦
One of the family used to do brain transplants, his advertising slogan was, (all together now) ‘Schitt for Brains.’
Coat,cab.
Very witty y’all!