Aboriginal Tracker Somewhere between Karratha and Onslow in Western Australia An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End.
On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air, under the sea. The Americans were incredulous.
Later in the day, the tour rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine. He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine. ”Jacky,” said the tour guide,”what are you tracking and what are you listening for?”
The aborigine replied,
”Down the road about 25 miles is a 1971 Baliant Ute. It’s a red one. The left front tyre is bald. The front end is out of whack, and him got bloody dents in every panel. There are 9 black fellas in the back, all drinking warm sherry. There are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6 dogs on the front seat.”
The American tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise and detailed knowledge.
“God man, how do you know all that?” asked one.
The Aborigine replied……… I fell out off the pucken thing about half an hour ago!”.
Boadicea's Chariot 
The Top End and Kakadu National Park are in the Northern territory, 3,000kms from Onslow in Western Australia, and 2,600kms from Karratha. We don’t measure distance in miles, and it’s a Valiant ute. 😀
If he’s to correct that spelling mistake he needs to correct the other one too…
🙂
I think he will leave it as it is. 🙂
Well I thought it was funny.
It also reminded me of another old chestnut (recently brought into conformance by me).
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding westward across the plains (in Oklahoma, I believe, about 2000 Km south of the Canadian border, and north of Kansas City which of course did not yet exist) when over the hills in front of them came a huge band of Cherokee (Yes, I know the Cherokee are not native to that area, but they have a warlike reputation required for the story).
The LR looks at T and says “What do we do now Tonto?”
T replies “Ride South Kimo Sabi” (Yes, I know that’s not spelled correctly but I have never seen it in print)
They ride South and over the hills ahead of them appears a huge band of Cherokee (see disclaimer above)
LR: “What do we do now Tonto?”
T:”Ride East Kimo Sabi” (see disclaimer above)
They ride East when over the hills in front of them appears huge band of Cherokee (previously disclaimed)
LR: “What do we do now Tonto?”
T: “Ride North Kimo Sabi” (previously disclaimed.
Suddenly over the hills in front of them (by now you will have realised they were riding in an area completely surrounded by hills) appear a huge band of Cherokee (see above)
LR: “What do we do now Tonto?”
T: “What do you mean WE! White man”
Lol. 🙂