With my mind full of other important pre-occupations, I’ve never got round to working out the correct button to press on the outside of the lift. Inside the lift, of course, I’m as smart as Ozymandias and it’s simply a matter of pushing the number button of the floor I want to reach. This will take me to my destination. Like a bird learning to fly, a child learning to walk, a Queen-side castle, the first process of lift ascending is the hardest.
Standing on the ground floor I assess the signs on the steel plates beside the lift doors. There are no up and down buttons, instead I am presented with ▲or ▼. Now, I want to go up and there is no basement in the building so why the upside down symbol. Do I press this to bring the lift down or do I press the facing upwards triangle as I want to elevate? They could have made this easier, you know.
Imagine the scenario if I get to the lift a split second before a young lady arrives from the other side. Now I’m in double jeopardy. Do I act the gentleman and let her touch the controls? Ladies first and all that. Or would that be rude of me and am I expected to do all the work and press on one of the plates? I’m in severe trouble here as I don’t know what triangle to push. If I press the wrong one will she think me silly? Could I judge this from her reaction? Could I say I’m only messing about with the buttons? Who made stupid lifts, anyway?
Boadicea's Chariot 
I don’t have a solid ^ or its upside down equivalent on my keyboard. Not fair. 😦
Hello there J,
Good King Soutie has shown me some clever HTML tips throughout the centuries. One of his best pieces of advice was to cut and paste symbols etc. from other websites. Here’s a ▲ and a ▼. Go on, cut and paste them; they’re yours- to keep.
▲ ▼ ! Yeeeehaaah! 🙂
LOL
I am reminded of the lift operator on the basement level, being asked by the new arrival if the lift was going up. His response: No, we are going to surprise everyone and go sideways!
When I read the title, I thought you’d been stuck in a lift somewhere, phew.
I guess the up bit is for when they get round to digging a basement JW 🙂
Now then, this cut and paste thingy………….. ▲ ▼….whooppee, I can do it too.
Okay, JW, you’ll have to do blog with all these useful snippets of yours.
CWJ,
Have you been on the scenic lift at Cineworld on Renfrew Street? Brilliant! I could spend a whole day there. London Eye, eat your heart out.
Val,
I can’t belive you think I’m an expert on these things. I only learned to tyoipe a year ago. Anyway, well done with the triangley things. OK, let’s talk cards. I only know how to play snap and scabby Queen so here’s the suits. Just for you. ♠ ♣ ♥ ♦
ooh thanks JW, I’ll deal ♠ ♣ ♥ ♦
Â
Hah, learned some code þ
Â
I’ll have a guess. Russian?
I shall tell the Glasgow-dwelling daughter that her father wants to visit your recommended Renfrew Street site, and will report back. I have been on some thoroughly terrifying lift journeys up the outside of skycrapers under construction in the UAE, when involved in financing them, in what was effectively an open sided wire cage – not for the faint-hearted…
CWJ, You should try dropping at fifteen feet per second down a thousand yard shaft
 Romanian, as is Î – same sound except that it’s Î at the beginning of a word and  inside a word 🙂
Tom – sounds a bit like jumping out of an aircraft – quite a buzz, according to eldest daughter, who is mad enough to be into that sort of thing. I don’t see any reason to, while the engine continues to run…
I agree with you, CWJ, and I think all pilots, thankfully, feel much the same way!
.. but I suspect Tom, was talking about a mine-shaft! Not much choice there.
LOL love your tag “non-serious blog about lifts.”
I always expect the gentleman to say to the lady “and what floor would you like?” and press her buttons.
Æ Ø Å are fun too.
Ladies underwear – going down! How exotic!