Just sharing something received from a friend….
The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing “father’s details;” or putting it another way…. Who’s your Daddy?
These are genuine excerpts from the forms and exhibit sometimes startling sincerity. š
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, butI believe that she was conceived on the same night.
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.
4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was ejaculat and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country . Please advise…
7.Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time…. well, I don’t have clue.
8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro-Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .
9. So much about that night is a blur The only thing that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 56 Miller St , mine might have remained unfertilized.
10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.
Boadicea's Chariot 
I can almost believe these š
No. 10 is a classic. š
Nurse to new mum, “does he has the same hair colour as his Father”?
New mum, I don’t know nurse, ‘e never took his hat off”.
It wouldn’t surprise me if these were genuine responses. What, anyway, is the point of any of these women telling the authorities the name of their child / ren’s father? If the fathers are traced they are unlikely to want to pay anything towards the keep of a child they neither want to know or care about – even if they are in a position to pay. It certainly doesn’t make any difference to the mothers as long as the Government pay up. Perhaps, if they were offered a bonus for dobbing in these men they might feel inclined to be a bit more informative.
Erm, @ No. 3 They do seem to faint so easily these days. Just don’t tell her where
The Cave is or else I’ll have to make you pass out too.
OZ
Revealing the father’s name should be a condition for receiving benefit.
Tom, I agree.
“I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian.”
I’m still larfin’
Nor have I, Pseu. š
Better still, name the father from whom the ‘benefits’ should then be deducted by the state – otherwise no benefits. The general taxpayer does not owe some feckless, loose-legged tart an income, nor indeed a way of life to a greasy, sink estate product who can’t keep his trousers zippered.
So there!
OZ
This is very funny, janh1, or would be if the consequences weren’t so tragic. I agree with Tom. These stupid girls need to take the pill every day for the rest of their lives.
More likely sterilise them!
I think the correct term is ‘margarine legs’!
My favourite is “taken unexpectedly from behind.” Those Mancunian lads are so imaginative with their romantic surprises.
Don’t worry OZ your secret is safe with us. It used to be called “the vapours” didn’t it? Pass the smelling salts, Ethel! š
Hi Sheona – a lot of them can’t be trusted to remember the pill so the depo-provera jab is more reliable – just as long as they remember to attend the surgery for it!