Right, all youse out there. I can’t access the homepage since Boadicea changed the banner, but I need help anyway.
I have been enticed into providing a late and sumptuous lunch on New Year’s Eve. This is not a problem. The problem is that the NSW, having four straight days of leave, has indicated her desire to spend the following day in bed with a box of Belgian chocolates and a litre of my favourite Campo da Gruta white wine, the name of which translates wonderfully as ‘Cave Country’ and is therefore as dear to my heart as Mr. Mackie’s ‘Embra’ ale is to him. Whether or not my own active participation in this venture is required has yet to be ascertained.
But I digress. Not only is chocolate and wine involved, but she wants to watch movies too, starting with “Avatar” and I’m supposed to come up with a playlist. My initial suggestions of 633 Squadron, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, a recorded National Geographic documentary about wolves (Wot!! Doesn’t everyone??) and the definitive version of the 1966 World Cup campaign was met with that particular look I know does not bode well.
Help!! Any suggestions from The Third Man or Brief Encounter to whatever is in the cinemas this year would be gratefully received.
OZ
Boadicea's Chariot 
OZ, why can’t you access the home page? How have you been able to post without access to the home page? I’ve lost two keys today, a y and a U…I was cleaning the key board and they flew off under the desk, I’ll grope and get em later 🙂
Gone with the Wind is about 4 hours of good viewing. Brief encounter? Yes. The longest day is another good one. I’ll keep thinking.
War and Peace and change your girlfriend!
Val – Dunno, I’ve done a reboot and everything but have to watch ‘Recent Posts’ and ‘Recent comments’ instead. I didn’t mention it before and don’t tell a soul, but I have access to a friend’s extensive collection of pirated DVDs so virtually any title is or could be available.
OZ
Christina – Just in case and I’m sure I’m going to regret this, got any plans yourself for New Year’s Eve? 🙂
OZ
Dear OZ,
I would like to help, but I am at a loss to understand what you mean by “I can’t access the home page”. Could you possibly describe what you see in greater detail? Or, better still, post a screen shot? What happens when you click on the Home icon in the menu bar? What happens when you click on the Boadicea’s Chariot link at the top left of the dashboard? How can you see Recent Comments and Recent Posts if you are not on the home page? Sorry if theses questions appear stupid, but, as I say, I don’t understand what you mean.
Have you tried clearing your cache (Control F5 in IE)?
A puzzled Bear.
… and please will you stop referring to me as “hairy arsed”, I don’t appreciate it. 😦
Sorry, Sir, on both counts. I was referring to the homepage where you can see all the recent threads and all the text thereon until the ‘read more’ linkey. I normally access this by clicking on Boadicea’s banner – it’s currently visible but not active on my screen.
OZ
OZ – please, please, please will you explain what you mean!!?? I am not psychic.
Oh yes I am. Click on the home icon instead. The words in the title in the banner are NOT a link in this version. But you can access the same home page by clicking on the home icon in the menu bar under the banner, or by typing bearsy.wordpress.com in the address bar. The home icon is the strange little symbol, meant to look like a house, to the immediate left of the word “About”.
I will remove the cricket banner and replace it with one which does have a link on the title. Wait a few minutes and it will be done.
There you are.
Oddly enough, I have never tried clicking on the banner, I always click on the Home Page button as you described, Bearsy. Some Wordress sites and Blooger sites without a Home Page Button, do require one to click on the name of the site.
I really didn’t understand why OZ was having a problem but I do now!
Sorry OZ, I really cannot help with the choice of films.
I rarely watch them, so unless you are into films that are fairly pre-historic, I’m not the person to ask.
The World Cup? It’s hardly romantic now, is it?
Here is the icon –
Right, the homepage thingy is solved thanks to Bearsy. Now will you Charioteers please save my sorry carcass before it’s too late and give me some movie playlists to keep the NSW purring.
OZ
What sort of movies does NSW like? Isn’t Avatar a children’s film? How about Brad Pitt and George Clooney in one of the Ocean romps? If you like Clint Eastwood perhaps Bridges of Madison County with Meryl Streep would keep you both happy. I’d agree with Valzone on Gone with the Wind and Some like it Hot is always worth watching, I think. It’s so difficult to choose films for someone else.
How about “Debbie does Dallas”?
Sheona – There are some movies that work on all levels, ‘Chicken Run’ and ‘Ice Age’ being two to mention, plus all the Harry Potter movies. I could live with ‘Some Like It Hot’ and I am sure the NSW would enjoy it again. How abut my all time favourite, ‘The Third Man’?
Bearsy – I fear ‘Debbie does Dallas’, brilliantly lit, directed and scripted as it is, would earn me another of those looks.
OZ
What about, she says with some trepidation, Out of Africa, Doctor Zivago, and for a bit serious
schmaltz, Dirty Dancing?
Oops missed out the “h”, drat!
What about “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”?
She would need to remain alert to catch the English subtitles, unless of course you have a Swede as partner.
Araminta – I can see your feminine side in your trepidation and particularly in your choices. I am comfortable with them and I am sure the NSW would enjoy them too.
OZ
Taking notes – C’mon charioteers, the NSW is worth it.
OZ
OZ, I suggest ‘Last Tango in Paris’. 🙂
Oz you’d regret it!
The Russian version of War and Peace lasts about 10 hours.
The battle of Borodino lasts nearly an hour, they refought it with 100,000 men of the Russian army.
Bloody first class movie, jolly good for sorting out the intellectual pygmies and general mental dwarves. Lets face it, at your age you can’t bugger around with someone who turns out to be patently unsuitable or a total crashing bore. You can’t get laid ALL the time!!!
You could of course arrange to put the stove within reach of the bed! Another sorting of sheep from goats.
Too damned right I’d regret it. War and Peace might last ten hours, but I’m pretty sure I couldn’t. What the hell am I supposed to do for the other 9h 56m? A short cartoon is more like it these days – an early Tom and Jerry would be about right.
OZ
OZ,
‘A Knights Tale’ starring Heath Ledger. Its a corker. Funny, stuff for us genderly challenged and some romance for teh ladies too. A light hearted tale of a thatchers son who wants to rise above his station.
then
‘The Replacements’ with Gene Hackman and Keanu Reeves. Its an american football story so a little biased towards the bloke viewer but hilarious. Excellent acting from that welsh y-front bloke out of Notting Hill. There is a sort of romantic interest but if you really try, you hardly notice it.
Then there are Will Smith films like ‘Enemy of the State’, ‘Hancock’ and ‘Seven Pounds’ is good too.
Finally I remember you saying NSW was from the Steppes. Had you considered ‘Enemy at the Gate’? That is a true belter about a russian sniper (Jude Law)who becomes the hero of the motherland in the fight to keep the Sausage Scoffers out of Stalingrad. Semi steamy bit with Rachel Weiss too which pleases the imagination. 🙂
I’ve never seen the film but people tell me it’s good. I think it’s about a dance held in a local church hall before it closes down for good. The film is called. ‘Last Tango in Parish’.
Mornin’ Ferret and thank you for the suggestions. Never even heard of most of these, but will ask my film buff friend for copies, especially the one including the steamy bit with Rachel Weisz, whom I do know to be well photogenic.
OZ
OMG – Behave yourself 🙂 This is important – I want to start the New Year
with a bang, on the right foot.OZ
MrsOMG and I do not have a TV in the Master Bedroom of OMG Towers owing to an unfortunate incident with the TV remote which caused her to miss an inportant part of ‘Coronation Street’ one night when we were playing ‘Ladies and Gentlemen’. I won’t go into greater detail but think of the scene from ‘Midnight Cowboy’ when Jon Voight and friend caused the remote to switch channels rapidly at the height of their passion, I don’t have to spell it out, do I?
Well I suppose getting a rollocking over a missed bit of Coronation Street is marginally preferable to being informed that the ceiling needs painting again. 😦
OZ
The great Preston Sturgess film “The Lady Eve”. “The Producers” with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder. “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?” “The General” with Buster Keaton. Any of the Harry Potter films, though that means you might be watching them ALL, and surely that would take up 9 hours. “Catch Me If You Can”. Terry Gilliam’s “The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus.” Jean Cocteau’s “Beauty and the Beast” or “Orphee.” “The Horse’s Mouth” with Alec Guinness. I think those all partake of fantasy, humor and an adult intelligence.
Adult intelligence?
Bloody hell, seriously weird West Coast definition!
OZ
Given the provenance of the NSW, I suggest ‘From Russia with Love’, starring that suave, seriously sexy and sophisticated Embran (it’s what we do), Sir Thomas Sean Connery KBE as James Bond.
Jaime – Apart from the Hogwarts series, I must admit in my ignorance only to have heard previously of ‘The Producers’ and ‘The General’. I shall investigate further.
JM- I have to admit that the Embran tax-avoider was arguably the best Bond of all. Good call.
OZ
Hello wolf flu no more OZ,
As the “youngish” charioteer I say forget films and plump for an XBOX 360 instead. Take your pick from such amazing, realistic games as Call Of Duty Black ops, Halo Reach, Forza Motorsport 3 or Batman Arkham Asylum. Before you know it, it’ll be easter.
Mornin’ JW – Yep, no more wolf flu thanks, but am I missing something in my dotage? Wassa XBOX 360 then?
OZ
Glad you’re back to prowling, howling form, OZ.
Top Gun.
“Take me to bed or lose me forever” 🙂
Awww shucks, Jan, I bet you say that to all the nice wolves 😀 But anyway, isn’t Top Gun a bit……er……gay? I read somewhere that the beach volleyball scenes didn’t appeal only to the laydeez. Good soundtrack, though, he said in his deepest, most lupine voice.
OZ
‘Good’ soundtrack? ‘Good?’ It was freakin’ great! But I would have thought ‘Top Gun’ was more of a boys night in sort of flick?
I have no idea what I would recommend – although if you really want to strut your stuff a bit you could try to find a download of Anna Karenina, with Tatiana Samoilova – one of the films my teacher gave me when I could handle a bit of the dialogue. Had me swallowing hard in a couple of places 🙂 (Make sure you get sub-titles though 🙂
Erm, that’s exactly what I read, Bravo.
Also, exactly how much vodka do you have to consume before you can watch Anna Karenina…in Russian…with subtitles? And whilst we’re more or less on the subject, if anyone suggests one of those ’60s black-and-white French efforts in which two young people smoking Gauloises in a Paris café stare at each other moodily over the table for three hours before one of them goes and jumps in the Seine, then I give up.
OZ
You know, the more I think about this the more I think you are about to drop yourself from a great height.
Were I you, I would make her supply the play list and you get them! Other than that you might just be setting yourself up for a fall.
PS the Producers is very American stylistically, so called comedy-ish, not very appealing to most Europeans taste. And personally any bastard that sprayed hours of Hogwarts on me I would castrate with a rusty bread knife!
You, my dear, are in a mine field!
A couple of glasses of a good red will do it 🙂 If you can find a bottle of Ukranian Pepper Vodka in your local loja conveniente, I would heartily recommend it 🙂
Christina – You may have a point there. Being born in July and therefore Cancerian, I will scuttle sideways to avoid direct confrontation (if you believe that sort of malarky) and I have to say that your, ahem, ‘forthright’ approach on so many issues makes me personally blow hot and cold. I couldn’t do it myself, but this exercise is, truth be known, to give me some erudite ideas to present to the NSW, who is a literary sort of person despite having ‘Avatar’ on her playlist. I will take her own suggestions and any she picks from the above, to my dvd-burning friend and see what he can provide.
Bravo – Given some of the titles which might appear I think I will go for the vodka. 🙂
OZ
Greetings OZ That was my favourite Meg Ryan quote from my favourite filum (joint with The Deerhunter)!! Poor Meg. Goose bought it, you know. Tragic.
Does no-one here share my taste for cheesy plot, fast-jet pilots and fabulous flying sequences? Excellent soundtrack too, as Bravo points out.The Top Gun theme is superb and just right. I never miss a chance to watch it. Totally wasted on a boys’ night in, imo.
ok I’ll shut up now. You might need some Norah Jones, OZ. Soft and romantic. Avoid Brighouse and Rastrick brass band for now.
God Tina, I would so love to watch you turning on someone with a rusty bread knife. Just been watching Dexter so I’m right in the mood. 🙂
Yep, Jan.
Count me in, another Top Gun fan!
Thanks everyone – got it. The way to melt a lady these days is a rusty bread-knife, something called Last Tango in Parish [sic], a long film in Russian, a gay movie, a bottle of vodka and nothing by the Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band.
Sorted! What could possibly go wrong?
OZ
If you haven’t worked it out by now OZ, just bend over, put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye! From some of the suggestions on this blog, in all probability, it would appear that even a frog couldn’t get a jump. Good luck. 🙂
Toc! Long time, no see. How’s the walkabout going? Being a bit of an expert on walkabouts, lopes and suchlike, judging by the advice received so far it would be much better spending my time on a lope than wasting it trying for a hairy leg-over – not that I was, you understand. 🙂
OZ
Last Tango in Parish, OZ? Have I missed a particularly racy episode of the Vicar of Dibley?
You know we’re all going to be thinking about you on N Year’s Day don’t you, and wondering how it’s going? England expects. And so does Wales, come to that. 🙂
Personally, I’ll be all wrapped up, taking in the ozone, walking the length of Rhossili beach working up an appetite for a full Welsh brunch with “hold-the-orange-juice,-as-much-as-you-like” champers at Eddie’s caff, Llangennith.
Good stuff, eh Araminta?!! No doubt, like me you could spend a happy afternoon watching Tom C and Val Kilmer flying perilously close to the fabled “envelope.” 😀
Jan – Worse than that. See comment #27. I could well be loping along the caminhos on 1st January, looking for an errant cyclist or suchlike while the NSW is immersed in her movies.
And, for the record, only test pilots fly anywhere near the envelope. “Mere” squadron pilots like Messrs. Cruise and Kilmer have strict rules written (by test pilots) in the form of pilot’s notes to keep them safe.
OZ
Jealousy my dear OZ, will get you nowhere. 😉
What janh1 says is true,OZ. We’re all going to be cybernetically giggling, nudging each other and winking on January 1st – know what I mean??
Oh dear!
OZ
OZ, No 47, cracking!
I’d dodge a Tom Cruse movie like the plague were I you, he’s a weirdo, a midget creep and so greasy looking, plus a serious religious nutter! A lot of people have a gross objection to him of late on those grounds.
More likely puke in the bed!
If she is bookish what about a rerun of a Jane Austen movie or Master and Commander? never go too wrong with those! If she is seriously bookish I Would seriously think on War and Peace, but only the Russian version, (it has been dubbed) or Tennessee Williams, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, early Paul Newman.
Oh what fun!
Having read the suggestions here I reckon you need to get a selection of about 40 videos and at least half-a-dozen litres of your ‘favourite Campo da Gruta white wine’. That way by the time you’ve changed films a dozen or more times neither of you will care whether the film is any good or not… 🙂
Ha ha, love Boa’s suggestion 🙂
or…
Arrange a DVD contract at an outlet close to NSW, ask her to pick up a couple of titles on the way over as you’re busy
tidying,mowing the lawn,washing the car,cooking! 😉OZ, if you have time for more than ten minutes of third-party moving images, you should up the passion quotient!
Btw, you culture vultures! Only two days left for your CW entries!! 🙂
Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, a bit of Jane Austen and a shed-load of Campo da Gruta.
OZ
Zang
The mixture of food and film always does it for MrsOMG as in ‘Gone with the wind’ and Clark Gable’s line, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a flan”.
OMG, Mrs J has always gone for John Wayne: “There’s two reason to kill – survival and meat. We need meat.”
D’ya know what, Janus, I rather like the cut of Mr Wayne’s jib.
OZ
Happy New Year, OZ!! I was kind of hoping for a report back… 🙂
Happy New Year OZ,
I expected you would be sold on Top Gun it has a character called ‘Wolfman’ after all. 🙂
As for the envelope quote above, you are defo mistaken my lupine chum.
I have seen some fly boys do stuff you would not believe! One time in the falklands our pilot was on his gozomie flight and warned us to watch out for the take off. We were a VC10 sqn (a big assed passenger air liner) so we weren’t expecting much. Any hoo wee lined up outside ready for his last sortie before his flight home and watched him start the roll out. That 10 leapt off the blocks like a startled cat. We watched him build speed with next to no flap selected, it looked like he was aiming for an early rotate and we all thought we were going to miss his trick since he would be airborne hundreds of yards before the normal airbourne mark. But he didn’t rotate, he kept the nose on the deck and just kept building up speed, a very dodgy procedure. Just as he got level with the line hut, he flicked the nose up and the huge passenger plane leapt into the air, at what seemed like an impossibly low altitude he rolled the wings almost 90 degrees to port and stuffed loads of right rudder in. I swear the port wing tip was no more than 10 feet off the ground. The noise was incredible as the VC10 continued to climb sideways into the sky. He got a proper roasting from SATCO (senior air traffic controller) for that one. Big ol’ liners just shouldn’t do that sort of thing. 🙂
There are plenty more tales of rule breaking by everyday squadron jockeys which would make your fur fall out OZ.
LOL totally *love it* Ferret!!!! Bloody show-off but what a pilot! Unforgettable. 🙂
Ferret – Only just seen this. Bloody marvellous! I hope your other stories will emerge in due course. New Year was a hoot – more than that a gentleman must not tell. Smiley.
Janh – See above. Big smiley
OZ