It all dates back to the time Boris was in College. By College, of course, I don’t mean Oxford, but the boarding house reserved for King’s Scholars at Eton. Boris was a scholarship boy, while David Cameron, who was two years beneath him, was an Oppidan. Like George Orwell, Boris was lower-upper-middle, while Dave was unambiguously upper-upper-middle. Boris was the striver, the prize-winner, the boy who had to prove he belonged, while Dave just effortlessly fitted in. In spite of being older, Boris was like a younger, illegitimate half-brother to Dave, the heir apparent. He played Richard III to Cameron’s Edward IV.
Imagine how galling it must have been for Boris to watch this gilded youth, with his crushing sense of entitlement, ascend to the leadership of the Conservative Party. It was Boris, after all, who’d devoted his life to shinning up the greasy pole, beginning with the Presidency of the Oxford Union. While Dave was working as a PR man for Carlton, Boris was busy establishing himself as Margaret Thatcher’s favourite journalist. Here was the prize he’d had his eye on since the cradle – “World King” was his ambition as a nipper, according to his sister – snatched away by this popinjay. Bear in mind that when Boris found out his younger brother Joe had got a First at Oxford he kicked the wall so hard he broke his toe. When Dave was elected leader he must have been apoplectic.
So it’s little wonder that City Hall has declared war on Downing Street. Boris is, by some measure, the most ambitious man of his generation and he still holds out hope of overthrowing the King across the water. He can’t do that unless he wins a second term and he’s unlikely to do that unless he distances himself from George Osborne’s economic policy. Boris’s strategy must now be to win re-election in two years time, wait for the Coalition to fail, then, after Dave has fallen on his sword, challenge Gideon for the leadership. It’ll be the proven vote-winner versus the architect of the Coalition’s defeat. The Scholar will have triumphed over the Oppidan at last.
Last year, I co-produced and co-wrote a dramadoc called When Boris Met Dave about their Eton and Oxford years. I predicted that the rivalry between the two would come to define the next decade of British politics in much the same way that the rivalry between Tony and Gordon had defined the previous one. It’s taken six months for battle to commence, but it looks as though the games have truly begun.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Help – How do you use the ‘more’ button?
Like that! 😎
Thanks, please explain in greater detail – I’m technphobic.
At least Boris has a sense of humour. The problem is, he’s even more e(u)ccentic than our boy David.
Howzit Zen
Write your post. While still in the add post screen click your mouse over where you would like the ‘page break’ to appear then simply click on the ‘more’ tag, the 4th little button from the right (top row)
Please excuse the shortness of The Barkeep, he meant well but it is late over there 🙂
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VMT, Soutie
Is bartender one of the bosses hereabouts?
Val, BT is the BIG cheese hereabouts 🙂
He doesn’t comment here often but when he does we all pay attention 😉
Re- “overthowing the king across the water” – you do realize that Boris, having been born in the USA and holding dual nationality, is entitled to run for President of the USA?
Why would he be interested in footling around with running a third-rate nation which can’t even afford properly equipped Armed Forces? 😉
I have to say, I do like Boris, a little less now that it’s become known he’s been shagging another woman.
Oh, right-e-ho Soutie, I’ll remember to touch my forelocks when I see him coming 🙂
CWJ – An interesting point, I didn’t know that.
Val, I suspect you are being rather kind with the singular, there!
CWJ. I didn’t know that either – good one, thanks.
Dave got a first class degree – Boris must have bust the other foot then.
Me, I stand to attention and pay particular attention to what he tells me. It is all good stuff. Listen and learn. 🙂
Don’t get too carried away with the difference in ‘class’ between Dave and Boris. We get UK “Who Do You Think You Are?” here! Boris is related to half the ex-crowned heads of Europe – on the wrong side of the blanket maybe – but so what!
Nonetheless, in a straight fight I’d back Boris. Anyone who has had to struggle to get where s/he is has an edge on those who have had all the prizes dropped in their laps.
I own to liking Boris, despite his extra-marital activities. He seems to have his feet a little more firmly on the ground than most…
Piss off Janus. 🙂
Janus – your continual sniping is becoming a tad tedious. I think is one of those occasions where I am moved to say “We are not amused”…
Boris is a star! He was a brilliant MP.
I can’t even remember the name of the nonentity who replaced him.
I can imagine he would be brilliant. He strikes me as someone who can turn a ‘problem’ on its head and see possibilities that very few others can. He also seems to me to be someone who would not mind suggesting the ‘unthinkable’.
I read his article on MPs’ vehicles. It was so funny… and so true. He was on his bike when an MP asked him if he wanted a lift. He told the said MP that he should be travelling on the Underground (with his nose in someone’s armpit like the rest of the population!) since it was only two stops to Westminster…
He’s exceptionally personable, and engaging, Boadicea, and very very intelligent and amusing.
It’s about time we had a bit of a ‘personality’ in politics. The mob for the last twenty-odd years have been utterly ‘grey’. A bit of ‘intelligence’ might not go amiss either…
Boa, as JM might say…Ach weel…….
“….Boris is a star! He was a brilliant MP.
I can’t even remember the name of the nonentity who replaced him……..”
Gosh another rare point(s) of agreement Araminta. Janus, Ferret and now you!
It won’t last of course.
To return to the point; I had some dealing with Boris while he was MP. He was great, gave of his time and actually understood what we were talking about. Wrote his letter to the relevent Govt Dept on the spot, usually with a chewed biro (although once with a Mont Blanc fountain pen). I always recieved the fair copy a few days later.
When Boris ceased to be our MP I sought to continue the matter with his predecessor . A complete waste of time. IMHO the man is no more than an artful self publicist. The fact that such a useless article gets selected in a safe seat like Henley says a lot (not good) about the constituency party who hadn’t wanted Boris either. Actually we could have had Boris’s dad and he would have been great but the preferred the slug Howell instead…very sad.
Watching the televised performances of Boris dealing with the Stalininst hacks and the one raving loonie BNP fellow in the London Assembly is reality television at its very best. It is as good as anything in Yes Minister, and I recommend it!
Stalinist…
Someone has kindly edited my comment..thank you.
Is there anyway I can do this myself ?