My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that ‘Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.’ On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.’
She calmly turned her head and said, ‘In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.’
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, ‘Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you… Tray-up, Bitch’
Boadicea's Chariot 
Nice one.
That told her 🙂
Bet it wasn’t Emirates! 🙂
When my youngest left Uni she took a job with the world’s favourite airline as cabin crew. She was then told the three stages she would go through if she stayed in the job. First you are a ‘Trolley Dolly’, then you morph in later life to being ‘The Tart with the Cart’ and finally you become ‘The Dragon with the Wagon’. On the blog topic, the crew member who follows the tea and coffee service with the milk is known as ‘The Dairy Fairy’, regardless of gender.
Lovely alliteration!
OMG, 🙂
Hiya, Zen – It’s more than twenty years ago now when I was on an overnight Quaintarse flight from Singapore to Sydney, one of my earliest business trips ‘dunnunda’. At OFFS hrs of the morning, 36,000 feet above somewhere south-east of Uluru, my slumbers were interrupted by the lisping tones of the steward, “G’day, Mr. OZ, can I slip you a smoothie?”
How was I to know it was a popular breakfast fruit-and-yoghurt drink in Ostraylier? I was jet-lagged and barely awake and reacted instinctively. There followed an unfortunate scene. 😦
OZ
In the mob we called them flying saucers. 🙂
Ferret – I do know one extremely straight bloke who signed on as cabin crew purely for the furry legover opportunities with the trolley dollies and the lack of other competition in those circles.
OZ
OZ,
Oh there’s competition all right, all the soup dragons want to debag the flight crew. 😉
OFFS hours equates to OChristOO hours
Ferret – It’s a rank thing, I believe, as is usual with questions of emphasis. Officers from the flight deck can debag the soup dragons (I like that description) at will, but the latter must never aspire to the higher echelons. I believe Bearsy would call it ‘droit de seigneur’. 🙂
PapaG – Ho, bloody ho! 🙂 Let me tell you, the blood and fur left in the aisles was not mine.
OZ
Or am I terribly old-fashioned?
OZ