Don’t have an iPad? Feel that life is passing you by? Envious of shakers and movers who flaunt them on trains and buses?
Then despair no more, help is at hand. A well known East End sporting personality has obtained a job lot of iPads from various sources within the Greater London Transport Network and is able to offer them at rock bottom prices. This offer is only available for a limited time until more stock reaches the lock up in Hoxton.
All iPads come with a lifetime warranty which is limited to the life of the iPad, when it croaks the lifetime warranty croaks with it. No refunds will be entertained and all purchases are subject to Bethnal Green law, It’s like Shariah law but more violent and personal.
To take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer be at the ‘Blind Beggar’ public house in the Commercial Road, EC1, today between 12 noon and until stocks run out or the rozzers turn up.
Cash only, no cheques or credit cards, 15% handling charge for cash. Be part of the new genaration of technocrats, get switched on and get fitted up today, well and truly fitted up.
Please note that the management are not responsible for any content that may be found on the iPad you are sold today. This has come about because of the rigerous ‘pre owned testing procedure’ that has been carried out by the public tester who gave your iPad a ‘test drive’ before you got it.
The aformentioned warranty supplied does not compromise your human rights but in the event of a consumer dispute a visit fromt two of our consumer relations consultants may compromise your health.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Hehehehehehe!
iWant 1
😉
🙂 The Blind begger?? That’s were the Kray’s hung out and shot people.
oops, spelt beggar wrong.