Two weeks ago, I was visiting my roots. One side of my ancestry is Lowland, East Neuk of Fife for as many generations as we have been able to trace to date. The other side is Easter Ross, but, two generations back, it seems that we came out of the West from Lewis or Harris. As part of my 60th birthday celebrations, my close friends funded my first trip to the Outer Hebrides.
I was, of course, 60 in October last year, but the blood of the islands runs true in me and I did not get around to organising the trip until late September of this year. Totally unforgettable. The weather was dreadful, the scenery was spectacular, the various golden eagles, sea eagles, herons and seals were glorious and the people were memorable.
On the second day at lunchtime, we were right on the southern tip of Harris, looking out towards Skye and North Uist. We drove past a hotel which looked like it had closed for the season, but tried it anyway. It turned out to have one more day to go and they were happy to make us lunch.
The owner went off to get the Cullen Skink ready and I went up to the bar to get the drinks. The barman was an 18 year old youth. I tried to engage him in conversation about the beers which were from the Hebridean Brewery. He was pleasant enough but not particularly forthcoming. Not dour but just reserved.
The Cullen Skink was superb and I moved on to the mussels. Now, I have this thing that I do with mussels. I learned it from my favourite uncle when I was 16 and I have done it ever since. As I eat each one, I put the empty shells inside each other. Saves having a messy pile and just feels right.
If you have never done this yourself or seen the end result, it looks like this:-
So, having done my usual trick, I took the above photo because I thought it was one of my better stacking efforts.
The aforementioned Hebridean youth came out from behind the bar to clear our table. He looked down at my mussel shells, then at me and said:-
‘Have you got OCD, then?’
Mrs M. and I could not stop laughing for about three minutes.
Boadicea's Chariot 
I would answer ‘yes’ – the knife, fork and plate are immaculately clean. Nonetheless, a very unexpected answer at the time and I can understand your laughter!
Aye weel, PG!
Well met and good to see you. But you’ll never make a Poirot, in my opinion.
The fork and knife are immaculately clean simply because I never used them. Uncle Frank’s technique involves using the first empty shell you find, and in this imperfect world there is always one, to winkle out the flesh from the others. The plate may give the semblance of being immaculately clean but that is because I emptied the bread from the basket on the left to soak up every vestige of the sauce. Said sauce was so good that, had Mrs M. not have been present, I might well have licked the plate clean to make absolutely sure that I had not missed any of it.
Regards to Kojo. He’s growing up so quickly, judging by your toast and marmalade post.
Enjoy!
JM, nice story. Out of the mouth of babes, etc. Your devotion to detail triumphed again, eh? 🙂
Must admit that I’m not a ‘stacker’ myself.
Very neat. Do you remove the lot from the bowl on delivery and then arrange according to size to make the ‘stacking’ easier?
Do you remember the lady from North or South Uist that used to enthrall us with life on the islands and her occasional trip to the big city?
How very dare he 😉 And you just being tidy, I love it. If only I liked mussels, I’d love do the same one day. Great image John.
Mornin’ JM – I always do the same with all kinds of shellfish, much to the amusement of Portuguese waitresses, although oyster shells can be a bit of a challenge. Razor clams make the most spectacular display IMHO although I was particularly proud of an arrangement of conquilas, tiny clams on which I had absolutely gorged myself, that stretched all the way around the circumference of the plate.
‘I was, of course, 60 in October last year, but the blood of the islands runs true in me and I did not get around to organising the trip until late September of this year.’ This does not bode well for Battleships III. 😦
OZ
Interesting. I would have stacked them so that the second row ran in the opposite direction to the first, chevron style.
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Good gracious Mr Mackie. I do believe the reticent youth has a point! 🙂
I adore mussels and there is never anything organised about the unruly heap of shells that results. Don’t even tell me what you do with Quality Street wrappers….
Pseu, now you got me worried… 😀 So you prefer the herringbone effect. It’s the way they lay stone walls in some parts of the country.
Quality street wrappers are best ironed, and stacked neatly…
LOL cwj!!
I also eschew yaffling irons when indulging in mussels and use the shell of one to divest the tasty bit from the grip of the landlord and into my mouth. But I’m what’s known as a ‘slinger’ in the mussel trade in that I just sling the empties into a bowl, no finesse me, just sling ’em straight in, commando stylee.
OMG,
For added entertainment, try slinging the shells into someone elses bowl. A kind of crustaceous tiddlywinks contest.
One of my trademarks is leaving various stains on the tablecloth at and indian restaurant. Not on purpose of course, it just happens. I rearrange various items of table furniture to cover my mess. As the waiter comes to clear between courses he is greeted by a varying range of size and colour as he lifts the crockery. I don’t expect any thanks of course.
Once, in the New Balaka in St Andrews, I managed to stain the cloth on someone elses table, completely removed from our own. Call it my claim to fame if you will. 🙂
Thanks for all the comments. I intend to adopt a portmanteau approach to my replies.
Janus #3. Thanks Janus. There’s always a profit to be made out of ‘detail’. In my opinion.
Soutie #4. Only neat thing I do. I’m actually a bit of a Ferret food-wise.
No, the shells get stacked as I eat the mussels. No need to sort. And of course I remember uistlady. I loved her posts and you and I had a run in on her very first blog –
http://my.telegraph.co.uk/uistlady/uistlady/5239581/Island_on_the_Edge/#disqus_thread
She was only with us on MyT for about 3 months, but I enjoyed her blogs and, if truth be told, she might well be the one that fired me with the desire to do something about going to visit the alleged ancestral stamping grounds. Isobel and the ceramic fish helped as well.
Valzone #5 Thanks for liking the image. You could always just leave the mussel meat on the side of the plate if you ever wanted to try it?
OZ #6. Haw, pal. I set a trap for the gadfly (sole purpose of the blood of the islands remark) and you go and stick your lupine nose in it. Good to hear, however, that you have finer feelings and are a stacker like myself. The chance to stack conquilas is one more great reason to make Portugal our holiday destination of choice next year. Mrs M. is still very keen, by the way.
And ‘Battleships III – The Denouement’ is coming.
Pseu #7. An interesting variant which I fully intend to try next time. I trust that you noticed that the shells are stacked in a determinedly left-handed way?
Janh1 #8. ‘I adore mussels and there is never anything organised about the unruly heap of shells that results’.
I feel your pain. It is obvious that when you live on the plains, as the Welsh do, you are bound to make a heap of anything you can, just to bring some relief to your otherwise flat existence.
Cwj #9. Thanks for liking the post. But you appear to be a bit of a dilettante OCD’er to me. You make no mention of sorting the QS wrappers before ironing and stacking them and that’s surely the best bit?
Omg #11. We’ll just have to agree to differ about our disposal method. At least we eat them the same way. Your entry for the CW competition is duly noted and much appreciated.
Ferret aka guru #12. For the avoidance of doubt, mussel shells excepted, I am a major slaister when it comes to restaurant food and tablecloths. We must have a slaister-off some time. But not in the ‘New Bakala’. Had a quick google and the consensus seems to be that it is not as good as it was.
Bearsy #13. Another slinger, then? Doesn’t make you a bad person. Well done in the pool but looking forward to the Jocks taking Team Oz apart on the green. Or possibly not. Our male triples lost to Malta in the first round!
Ew Ferret, you’re so clever.
Flat? Pshaw! I refer my learned friend to Snowdon – higher than *anything* south of the…er…. Scottish Highlands which are obviously quite high too, hence the name. Ahem.
What an excellent post, and I had a terrible feeling when I saw the photograph.
Yes, one member of my immediate family who shall be nameless does this, and always impressed but slightly worried.
Uist lady- well yes, I subscribe to her blog but I’m ashamed to say I have not visited for a while.
Lovely lady.
Just wondered if you had tried the spiral technique?
Pseu, are we still talking about shell stacking here or has this blog moved on?
I quite fancy trying a quick whorl sometime, if we are still in mollusc territory.
Walnut Whips came from Embra.
No 19
Of course, JM. What else could I possibly be talking about? 🙂
Jay Emm,
“We must have a slaister-off some time.”
Now that I would pay double for. 🙂
Nym,
Re #15.
Thanks. It is my gift and my curse. 🙂
JM, “I set a trap for the gadfly”. That really depresses Backside. 😦