An extremely difficult task; others have said so and I agree with them, wholeheartedly. This competition has turned up a batch of brilliant entries and it was a fur-tearing exercise deciding on a winner. A huge thank you to all the talented people who chose to write wonderful words for the theme “For want of a nail …”
Janus: Yummy (for want of a nail)
Janus’ grand poem describes the extraordinarily long period of skirmishes, the Wars of the Roses. The sporting analogy brings to mind that the memories of ancient feuds which lurk in the hearts of men may be re-kindled on smaller, but often bloody battle fields. I am left with an image of Edward’s poor nag limping slowly onwards and the thought that somewhere, off-scene, an incompetent Royal farrier was left with a red face and a lingering sense of shame. Beautifully and amusingly told; reet gradely, Janus.
Backside’s haiku entry:
Old Rat taunted toad:
“Can’t peel lemons without nails!”
“Not heard of toads’ tools?”
Concise perfection.
Three words: toad, lemon, nail
nestled artfully within.
The Royalist (JW): Definitely not Sports Illustrated
JW’s eccentric (a compliment, JW!) approach to story-telling is both refreshing and hilarious; this entry is no exception. In the opening paragraph about basketball, I loved “Hoops of derision rounded from the sidelines”. As I read this vivid smorgasbord, I warmed to the hapless, timid, yet hopeful protagonist, unlucky in love and doomed to disappointment once again. Wonderful!
A wonderfully gentle and poignant story about coming to terms with the loss of a family member, and a chance encounter that brings comfort and the possibility of a future relationship through a shared sorrow. The bedroom scene was especially moving and brought a tear to my eye. There are unanswered questions in Nym’s story, but I understand it is part of a larger work, adapted for this competition. I haven’t had a chance to follow this up, but will certainly do so.
O Zangado: For want of a nail …
A beautifully written, descriptive tale which reminds us that arrogance and high-handedness are not the best approach when dealing with high-born natives, or anyone else for that matter! This story started in a serious vein (I was preparing myself for disaster and tragedy) and so the punch-line came as a delicious surprise. Fantastic story, OZ!
For want of a nail, indeed! Araminta’s story really gets to grips with the theme and displays her characteristic light touch combined with over-egged irony. Despite the tragic unfolding of events, the heroine of the story is shaken but not stirred; a survivor in palest pink. Lovely!
John Mackie: Corporate Crime and Punishment in Fantasy Land
Very clever and witty; sheer magic, in fact. JM’s story fizzes with so many quotable quotes, that I am at a loss as to which one to pick, so I won’t. If you haven’t read this, please do; you won’t regret a minute of it. Excellent!
A charming, gentle, detailed, well written and very English entry from Bearsy 🙂 The Picture of Gilbert is beautifully drawn, describing his outward deference which contrasts with his real view of how things should be done, at his pace, in his own way, in his comfortable niche, where he can indulge his passion for cricket. The ending is brilliant.
Blimey!! In this controversial story of Africa vs Australia, you will probably not be surprised that Oz suffers greatly in comparison. I felt it necessary to (temporarily) abandon my allegiance to the latter and become a citizen of the world, in order to judge this story, throughout which I alternately guffawed and winced in equal measures. A terrific, wickedly funny romp with a bonus atmospheric description of African wildlife and another good punch-line.
And the winner is …… John Mackie. Congratulations, John! 🙂 Well done, everyone!
The winner emerged from a short list of three, OZ, Bearsy and John Mackie. I just wanted to add this because the choice was so agonising. Mr Mackie tipped the scales through sheer inventiveness and exuberance; a cracking good read from start to finish.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Well done Bilby, my congrats to JM, perhaps now he might turn his concentration back to the classical v rock contest!
😉
Thanks Soutie. 🙂 Is it on the rocks then? I’ve been too busy to look.
Well done, Bilby and congratulations to Mr Mackie; worthy winner!
Excellent choice. Thanks Bilby
I thought so. 🙂 Thanks Ara and Nym.
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
I can, Bilby, I can. Good choice. Well done JM.
Sipu: I do believe you, I do.
Hi, Bilby. Thank you for such such swift judging. You are clearly not a lawyer.
I am inordinately self-satisfied about winning this time. I agree with Janus. Your competition produced the highest standard of entries to date, in my opinion. Not a duff one amongst them. For the avoidance of doubt, I include Isobel’s disqualified entry in that statement. For the further avoidance of doubt, I understand Boa’s reasons.
I read all the entries again tonight and it was a joy.
As Janus well knows, I am a total devotee of Holloway/Edgar and our resident Dane does it so well.
JW is always a joy and added value for me, since I am usually able to make a wee bit of sense out of his outpourings, due to our shared Jock culture.
Pseu brought tears to my eyes with her story. My own tale was aimed squarely at what I believe to be her sense of humour.
OZ is getting better and better and better. A stonker of a story. Eth must be so proud.
I have a feeling that Ara was always doomed, due to consanguinity, but what a superbly chilling story of total self-absorption.
The self-deprecating engineer from Oz posted a cracker. Now that he’s broken his duck, he is going to be serious competition.
Last and never least, Sipu. Good to see that the Jock blood runs true through the generations. A superb piece of gentle joshing of the alleged and self-proclaimed ‘Continent’ of Australia.
Thank you again, Bilby. I am so looking forward to setting the next competition, particularly because I could make the deadline 31st October when the clocks go back. The possibilities for confusion, obfuscation, error and litigation are endless. This, in my considered opinion, can never be a bad thing.
JM, did you get my joke? “Ah good fellow!” Geddit?
Hi Sipu. Apologies. I admit that I did not until you drew my attention to it tonight. I really should have spotted the Robin in the room!
A superb comment, John, and a well deserved win, in my humble opinion. Thank you for mentioning Isobel’s contribution. I believe the link to her story is still on my last post
Well, Mr Mackie.
What a very generous acceptance speech.
Yes, you are right, I didn’t stand an earthy, but as Bilby explained to me, it would have been entirely inappropriate, suspect AND undeserved for me to have
funwon.Despite my threats and attempted bribes she stood firm. She had the nerve to point out that taking part was the point and not the winning.
Yippee; she’s shedding all this colonial influence and is sounding very English. Of course, I claim some of the credit for this transformation, but it has been an uphill battle. She does have her moments of regression but given a few more years of civilisation…… 😉
Or even “won”! Freudian typo, perhaps!
Bilby, please amend. Please!!!
Done, dear sister. 😉
Oh Bearsy, I am not as brown as I am desert looking, mate. 🙂 You could do Oz superbly, I have no doubt of that, given your citizenship and talent for writing. Your Gilbert is delightful and has the ring of truth; I do hope he is still enjoying the cricket.
“I am so looking forward to setting the next competition, particularly because I could make the deadline 31st October when the clocks go back. The possibilities for confusion, obfuscation, error and litigation are endless.”
Absolutely love it..JM. Eurostar
Hee hee! I loved it too.
You know, I don’t like raining on anyone’s parade least of all a compatriot; however, has anyone done a search of Horror Masters.com?
Only kidding, great story, JM, I’ve just liked it and E-mailed it to a few friends.
The quality of the entries are getting better and though I never made an individual comment on any of them, I’m stingy with my comments as you know, they were all excellent. Being an untidy writer this excellence puts me at a disadvantage and I suggest there should be a two-tier Championship; the promotion/relegation battles would be exciting. 🙂
Bilby, great judging and thank God I don’t have to worry about that nail anymore.
Hiya Bilby. An absolute brain-stormer of a contest and excellent judging – it must have been quite an emotional strain for one so delicate and self-effacing. 🙂 Congratulations also to Mr. Mackie and thank you both for your kind words (Eff has collapsed with a fit of the vapours). Now if you will all excuse me I need to go and bang my head despairingly against The Cave’s walls generally at my continuing creative deficit and particularly whilst we wait for JM to set up a new CW competition and ‘REDUX III – The Return of the Weegie.’ 😀
OZ
Oh, hiya J. Weegie. We were just talking about you. 🙂
OZ
Thank you for your kind words, dear OZ. I must admit to a couple of fits of the vapours myself (must run in the family), but rallied when Araminta stuffed some burnt feathers up my delicate nostrils. Have you tried that with Eff?
It was so close, one could have placed a dehydrated worm between entries. You did good, my lupine friend. 🙂
Hi OZ,
Just because you made it onto the short list don’t let it get to your head that you’re Tom Wolfe? I can see you hanging on by your furry nails to your first division status next time around. 😉
REDUX III – The Return of the Weegie
I can’t wait either. It’s like having a new Star Wars, innit?
Cheers, JW, it’s a huge relief for me too, the lack of a nail, but not for Araminta, apparently. 🙂
Ara’s was the type of story I would write (oops, that’s not much of a compliment) and I enjoyed it immensely. The female of the species is more deadly than the male, right enough.
Meanwhile, what’s the meaning of all this dehydrated worm between entries except the anaconda snake length to TR’s all about? 🙂
Many thanks Bilby for setting and judging the competition. I’m glad it was you in the chair and not me!
Bilby – Burnt feathers had no effect whatsoever, but the mere waft of Vegemite spread thickly on hot toast did the trick. For the record I have Marmite, Vegemite AND Bovril in the cupboard and love them all.
JW – I’ve no vanities and to be honest have been hanging on by my furry nails ever since
I first tried creative writing. Actually, to be a little JM right now, ‘furry’ sounds a bit ‘pink’ and ‘ferrety’ to me and wolves don’t have nails, we have claws and very, very big incisors. Just thought I’d mention it. 🙂
Nighty night all.
OZ
I am tired, JW, and I don’t understand what TR’s mean, although I am rather intrigued, especially as they are related to anacondas which are fine snakes, imo. The worms are easy to explain, but I must go to bed.
No worries, Boa, now it’s over!
OZ: Another family trait. I have never entertained a bias in my pursuit of those wonderfully unhealthy, delicious and salty substances. I adapt to whatever is available.
Night night.
Just waking to the news. It would be two-faced of B & me not to congratulate you, JM! It’s a cracker, in our opinion, worthy of silk as well as laurels. But include us out, if ‘obfuscation’ is a key word in your new brief!
For Bilby
http://www.londons-swifts.org.uk/Nestboxes&Attraction.htm
and
http://pseu1.wordpress.com/2010/10/08/premonition/