Am I unusual in feeling somewhat aggrieved when, in a near empty bus, cinema or church, someone comes and sits alongside me?
This happened to me today in church and I moved, despite not wishing to appear rude. I did not know the man from Adam.
I would welcome any views that any of you might have on this. No comments will be edited. Not many, anyway.
I hope all are well and happy today.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Dear David, it’s all about fellowship really and are obviously an attractive bod – unlike so many passengers/worshippers. Repent, I say, repent.
Yours, Screwtape.
Oops – YOU are etc
It is odd the way some people do that, though I am sure you would not have minded his sitting there had it been the last empty seat in the church. I think some people are completely unaware of body space and the rules governing it. Its amusing sometimes to watch as an empty church or theatre gradually fills with people. The first two individuals sit at opposite ends of the row. A third sits halfway in between and the fourth and fifth subdivide again and so on.
Janus
I could edit both your comments virtually out of existence. But I forbear to act so precipitately and arbitrarily.
I may or may not be attractive to some people, but those who attract me never come to sit nearby.
But I am not bitter.
Sipu
Indeed, in a full hall one expects proximity and is not offended by it.
I wonder if you would have moved had the man been an attractive woman? 🙂
I agree about the personal space as detailed by Sipu. Some people lack that insight.
Pseu
Do you think I am mad? Of course I would not have moved.
Amicus, could he sing? Maybe he was a tenor to your bass. Following on what Sipu said about spreading out evenly, I have noticed the same occurrence in London Underground lifts. It would indeed be weird if in an empty lift three or four people stepped in and stood closely together. By the way Amicus, did you hold hands?
I have to admit to a horror of people sitting close to me invading my personal space.
Not only would I have moved but said something. It wouldn’t matter who they were.
I refuse to go to the theatre/concert unless I can get a ticket for an end of row seat and put spousal unit one in to act as a buffer.
Never could tolerate the underground at rush hour, all those stinking people!
I equally abhor all that shaking hands in Church, puts me off something dreadful.
On aeroplanes I generally refuse to speak to people, the merest courtesy and close down with a good book.
Maybe it is being a country person and used to having large spaces around me, but all the proximity to humanity is a strict no no.
I dislike small rooms for the same reason, you just cannot get away from other humans, one of the reasons I have always head a greenhouse, they leave you alone there in case they are given a job!
Co, yes, people in the mass are overrated.
In my case,I think it would depend on the length of their skirt and the size of their chest pillows. Well, I can dream, can.’t I?
I thought people were encourage to greet their neighbours and shake hands then indulge in communal clapping these days Amicus? 😉 Don’t fancy it meself. I like peace and solitude but then even I am surprised by my anti-social tendencies sometimes.
There’s such a thing as personal space and it’s a source of immediate discomfort if it’s invaded. I didn’t like the rampant over-familiarity of men in Turkey, restaurant bods and those trying to sell something. I resented it because I doubted they would tolerate that casual touchy-feeling behaviour with their own women. Men, know your place! 😀
Janh
You are right about the hand-shaking, but only partly so. It doesn’t happen at Matins and Evensong.
‘I did not know the man from Adam.’
Be fair, Amicus. He was, presumably, a descendant of Adam, like yourself, and, therefore, a relative even if you could not spot any resemblance. Familial respect surely dictates that you should, at the very least, have observed the pleasantries.
John M
Yes. We were distantly related and both British. But I feel uneasy about people who don’t keep their distance. But, perhaps I ought to have stayed put.
It’s odd how some people have no idea of other people’s personal space. I hate supermarket check-outs where the person behind inches nearer every time I move to retain my comfort zone. I’ve been known to ask if they’d jump in my grave as fast as they are moving into my space …
People (especially dare I say men!) on the Underground with their elbows hanging over the arm-rest, their wretched newspapers held open half-way across my face, and their legs crossed so that I can’t move without touching them are the worst. I recall asking one such man whether he’d mind sitting in his seat since I’d paid for the whole of mine… much to the amusement of the people sitting opposite! He got the ‘ump, glared at me – but did move to an empty space where he could take up three seats to himself!
Cracking Bo!
I’m so glad others would ‘mine their drives’ too!
One good reason for having dogs, warning given of approaching humanity. As far as I am concerned even crunching the gravel on the drive without a personal invitation is an invasion of my personal space!
Oh dear Amicus, what an unsociable lot we are.
I’m just the same,but living in France one has to try to get used to it. The French have the herd instinct, no way would they sit over on the far side if there was someone else around.
I have this on the ferry in the winter the whole boat can have only a dozen people aboard, I usually board first being a none dawdler, then on they come & sit right in front & immediately behind. . Drives me mad as they are usually loud.
On planes, I also try to get seated first & claim the arm rest !
Laughed at the arm rest thing, Boa! On planes I make sure I possess at least one armrest. It’s a territorial thing – and like you, I reckon I’ve paid for it! 🙂
On planes I head for the window seat – at least there is one arm rest that is exclusively mine and I can look out of the window and ‘pretend’ there’s no one else there. If the person the other side hangs an inch of elbow into my space I put the pillow upright so that they bump into it every time they start intruding into my space… I’ve had more than one or two glares for that, but I’d rather reduce my seating area than have to deal with someone else’s elbow.
On the flight out of London a few weeks back I booked a widow seat for me and an aisle seat for Bearsy and hoped that the flight would be sufficiently empty for the middle seat to be left vacant. It was – and we both had elbow room!
I appreciate the comments. It’s nice to know one is not alone.
Ouch!
I like window seats. I’m open minded about entering into conversations with fellow passengers.
Always an aisle seat for me (long haul), for an easy escape. Window seats are good on trains.
You’re right Boadicea, one window and one aisle is the ideal arrangement for a travelling couple, with the vacant seat between for papers, books, etc. Last summer, just before Sky Europe lay down and died, they were chartering planes from all and sundry. We couldn’t understand why we were allocated a whole row of seats each until we got on the plane. It was a MacDonnell Douglas and the space between the rows was the narrowest I have ever encountered. Without the space to stretch our legs sideways, we would have been very uncomfortable.
I love it when the nutter on the bus sits next to me.
Amicus, did watch/enjoy Rigoletto which has just finished, absolutely wonderful performance by all ?
Lovely music ringing in ones ears to go to bed with.
Night all.
Katie
I’m afraid I missed the opera. Glad you enjoyed it.