Results for the August (2)Writing Competition

The entrants this time around are:

Janus http://vikinggoodtoo.wordpress.com/2010/08/15/the-bet/

O Zangado https://boadiceaschariot.wordpress.com/2010/08/21/salop-aug-cw-2/

Isobel http://wp.me/pMKim-dt

the royalist https://boadiceaschariot.wordpress.com/2010/08/26/showdown-at-horseless-gulch-august-cw2/

Araminta https://boadiceaschariot.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/council-house-blues-the-ballad-of-sharon-and-kev/

Bilby https://boadiceaschariot.wordpress.com/2010/08/31/possum-with-thanks-to-val-for-the-inspiration/

The parameters  were as follows:

1.an argument of any sort.

2. a childhood memory and

3. a phrase (or saying /quotation /word) which is particular to your family.

Deadline midnight GMT on 31st August 2010.

As usual the wide variety of style and content amazed me and I again realised how difficult it is to judge a poem against a piece of prose, but in the end, after several readings a clear winner edged to the front.

Janus’s poem clearly recounts a childhood memory, in the Northern vernacular, of an argument with his mother about the origins of his Grandad’s shiny shoes. He captures the curiosity and disbelief of a child, and the seriousness of a small boy intent on winning a bet which will allow an upgrade his train set! He cleverly incorporates the old saying, ‘looking as though he’d found a tanner and lost a bob’ – which will probably need explanation to anyone under the age of 35 or 40.

O Zangado’s tale is based upon his childhood in Shropshire and sets the scene well with the introduction to his paternal grandmother whose persona of the ‘starch-stiff Victorian matriarch’ is questioned now, from the adult perspective.  We too had a Morris Minor with trafficators, in South Africa in the 60’s, and that image of riding un-restrained in the back bought back certain trips in that car with my brother, very clearly. He evokes the smells so well, too, of houses from childhood. The story, of Dad’s shortcut is very amusing and so visual I had a little film playing in my mind, and could hear the shout, ‘Dig your heels in, Dad,’ which would become an oft repeated phrase within the family.

Isobel’s story kicks off with the saying, ‘This won’t pay the rent, or bath the baby,’ said by her mother, and it is followed by her brother’s usual riposte, which throws us straight into the family and the story, which in the early stages uses ‘showing, not telling’ very well, to illustrate the family dynamics. She captures the family tensions in the teenaged responses of her sister and her father’s way of dealing with this, followed by her mother’s, quiet ‘Roger, do you want to leave this to me?’ Later the story explains and analyses the longer term effect of the family way of dealing with the central theme, ‘The thing was, my family didn’t do rows.’ And how, in the end this incident fostered her sister’s determination.

theroyalist tells an tale of teenaged  gaucheness, with one boy (in showing he ‘knows’ more than the other about the way to communicate with women) tickling his friend’s palm–which leaves the pair  in  a compromising situation when discovered by the gang holding hands, and takes them at the end of their escape from said gang, to land in a tangled heap in front of the beautiful brunette, the object of their desires. As usual the royalist has a slightly surreal way of telling his tale which is amusing and effective.

Araminta tells a well known tale of unplanned pregnancy in Ballad form, in 32 lines. Again this is amusing and draws heavily on social stereotypes of teenaged lovers, railing against disapproving parents who have their own (alcoholic) problems.  One is left thinking somehow that the row will blow over and that Sharon’s Mum and Dad will support her in the end, probably providing the childcare when she wants it, so she can return to work!

Bilby’ story takes us immediately to Australia with the dirt track, the heat and the term of endearment used. Initially we are not sure if ‘Possom’ is used literally, to another animal, or perhaps to a friend, but it soon become evident that this is a bird which has been bought back to some sort of animal sanctuary and that he is in great need of nurturing . During the story of the parrot’s decline and recovery the narrator cleverly gives insights into the relationship between Jen and Tommo; his discomfort at displays of emotion, his gentle giant caring approach, her determination and kindness… and a tendency to weep all serve to let us understand their relationship and make the reader care for them as much as the outcome for the bird. And what a lovely ending: the music the bird knows and loves restores some familiarity and he starts to pick at his food and we all know it is going to be alright, while the tensions between the couple are resolved with his explanation of how Tommo realised the answer. She loves him and tells him, “Your blood’s worth bottling.”

Marvellous.

So this week’s winner is Bilby, with her heart warming tale and a brilliant family saying.