Battleships Two

Good evening.

It is with a heavy heart that I have to tell you that a state of war now exists between Embra and Glesca.  We have agreed the rules and have launched our fleets. Please feel to ignore this whole intra-Jock nonsense, but please feel equally free to join in and/or  heckle from the sidelines.

The aforementioned rules are absurdly simple. Basically, the  usual ‘Battleships’ game with which we are all so familiar. A grid of 20 x 20 = 400. Aircraft carriers 2 x10 =20, Battleships 3 x 8 = 24, Destroyers 4 x 6 = 24,  Frigates 5 x 5 = 25,  Submarines 5 x 4 = 20. No ships on the diagonal and of course, the standard  no contiguity rule. Slight variant in that the names of all my fleet relate to classical music pre 1960  – composers, performers or the names of entire works,  JW has rock post 1960 on the same terms.  Tracks definitely not allowed.  The rest will become clear as we play.

Please  shout out suggestions for the names of any of our vessels at any point. Won’t sink them and might not even be acknowledged by us but rest assured that we will both be touched by your participation.

So, without further ado, and in the immortal words of Rear Admiral  David Glasgow Faragut at the Battle of Mobile Bay, ‘Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!’

JW,  in honour of the fact that we have done this once already, B4?

Thanks to Boa for the grids.

Hits on JM’s Fleet

C2     by   OZ                    Submarine                    4 letters           A

Q7           JW                    Destroyer                       6                         W

Q11         JW                    Destroyer                        6                         O

D5           JW                    Frigate                             5                         E

J18          JW                  Carrier                           10                        W

Q9           Ferret             Destroyer                     6                          L

D2           OZ & Boa       Submarine                    4                          C

Q10        JW                   Destroyer                      6                           O

E2           OZ                   Submarine                      4                          H

Q12        Ferret            Destroyer                       6                           N  (Ship sunk)

N18        Soutie            Carrier                            10                          I

J14         Jaime              Destroyer                      6                            L

B2           OZ                     Submarine                    4                             B (ship sunk)

N5          JW                     Battleship                     8                              E

N3          JW                     Destroyer                     6                              I

H7         Ferret               Battleship                     8                              D

S15         JW                     Frigate                           5                              D

L3           Soutie                Destroyer                    6                             E

M3         OZ                       Frigate                            5                            L

H8        Ferret                 Battleship                     8                             O

H9         Ferret                Battleship                      8                             T

K3          OZ                       Destroyer                      6                             D       (ship sunk)

O5          JW                      Battleship                      8                              L

Hits on JW’s Fleet

F8           JM                    Carrier                          10                         I

K 8          JM                    Carrier                          10                         O

I8          Ferret               Carrier                          10                          Y

R4         JM                      Battleship                      8                           R

H8        OZ                        Carrier                         10                           B

E8         Boa                      Carrier                         10                           V

G8         Ferret                Carrier                          10                           D

D8        Ferret                Carrier                          10                            D

R6       JM                        Battleship                      8                            G

K4      JM                         Frigate                            5                             R

K2       JM                         Submarine                   4                             M

R5      OZ                           Battleship                    8                             E

D8      Ferret                    Carrier                         10                           A

J8      Ferret                     Carrier                         10                            R

L8      Ferret                     Carrier                         10                           N  (Ship sunk)

I18     JM                           Frigate                           5                            E

R8      OZ                            Battleship                   8                              /S

R11    Soutie                    Battleship                     8                              B

I15      Soutie                  Submarine                    4                             O

R10     OZ                          Battleship                     8                             O  (Ship sunk)

L2       OZ                          Submarine                     4                            U

M14    JM                        Frigate                             5                            A

G18     Soutie                 Frigate                               5                             A

L2        OZ                        Submarine                       4                              U

The Ship Spotters Roll of Honour

HMS Walton                       Embran                                     identified by Boa and Ferret

HMS Bach                            Embran                                    Boa

HMS  David Byron           Weegie                                      Ferret

HMS Delius                          Embran                                    OZ

HMS Bob Seger                 Weegie                                      Soutie

HMS  Turandot                  Embran                                    OZ

JM – Embra

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T
1 X X X X X X X X X 1
2 X B A C H X X T X X X X X X X X X X 2
3 X X X X X X X U X X D E L I U S X
3
4 X X M X X R X X X X X X X X X 4
5 X E X X X S E L I 5
6 X X X X X X X X X X X 6
7 X B X X D X X W X X 7
8 X X X O X X A X 8
9 X X X X T X X L X 9
10 X X X X X X T X 10
11 X X O X 11
12 X N X 12
13
X X X X X 13
14 L
14
15 X E D 15
16 X 16
17 X X X X X X X X 17
18 X W I I 18
19 X X X X X X X X 19
20 20
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T

JW – Weegie

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T
1 X X X X X 1
2 X X M U S X 2
3 X X X X X X X X X 3
4 X R X X R X 4
5 X X X X X E X 5
6 X G X 6
7 X X X X X X X X X X X X X X E X 7
8 X D A V I D B Y R O N X X S/ X 8
9 X X X X X X X X X X X X X /B X 9
10 X X X
X X O X 10
11
X X B X 11
12 X X X X 12
13 X X X X 13
14 A X 14
15 O X X 15
16
X 16
17 X X 17
18 A E X X X 18
19 19
20 X 20
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T

270 thoughts on “Battleships Two”

  3. Well I’ll have J7, please Bob. I’m guessing JW has a Aircraft carrier called Supermassive Black Hole out there somewhere.

  6. Morning to Janus, Janh1 and Boa.

    I had intended only JW and I to give grid references but this might work, and will certainly speed the game up.

    So, JW, if you’re happy with the idea, each round to consist of 3 shots, first provided by one of us and the other two by the first two of our fellow ‘authors’ to get in after the results of the previous salvo have been given. That will, therefore be B4, D9 and J7 to answer please.

    Boa, grids will be provided in due course once the action heats up.

  10. Evening, CO

    I am a firm believer in doing what I enjoy and in having the good manners not to feel the need to tell other people how they should choose to enjoy themselves. If a post does not interest me, I feel no compuction to waste my time trumpeting that fact on said blog.

    I appreciate that you may feel differently. That is, of course, your right.

  11. I for one have had a lot of fun already*

    Janus :

    I reckon this will be as slow as chess by surface mail.

    I did mention early on the 1st edition that it certainly isn’t a spectator sport 😉

    *even if my helpful suggestions have been completely ignored!
    🙂

  12. Goodness, just what does one have to do?

    The protagonists had the good manners to ask if this was acceptable and I don’t envisage that I will be of much help to either side but do carry on chaps.

  13. Braga, Braga, Braga Oi, Oi,Oi.

    Good evening everyone,

    Firstly, good luck John and a great idea to involve the others. This is now a global war. Secondly, I hope you don’t mind if I make some diplomatic overtures to the rest of the world. Never before have I seen such an assembly of writing talent in one place and good looking too (OK, that’s plenty). Please help me with the composers as I don’t know my Bach from my Glass.

    Soutie, I don’t know the lifeboat version and it doesn’t sound right firing at people in lifeboats.

    B4- miss
    D9- miss
    J7- miss

    What a boring start. Sorry CO, stick around we’re playing Ludo after this.

    Can I have a P please, John? P4.

  14. Typical Scots! Two of them kick off in the corner and before you know it the whole bloody pub is involved. 🙂

    Has anyone suggested C2 yet?

    OZ

  15. Thanks, JW. I was playing bools tonight and forgot that the Sellick were playing. I take it they convincingly failed to win? Is the scene set for yet another European night of glorious failure at Parkhead as they don’t quite win on aggregate. I do hope so. It’s such fun!

    My concern now is that our fellow ‘authors’ may not offer grid references for fear of offending anybody out there who is of the opinion that we should have better things to do. So, give it a reasonable amount of time and then give me two more if nobody else does.

    Ludo might be a bit too exciting.

  19. So the names have to be for Aircraft carriers=20 characters, Battleships=24 characters, Destroyers = 24 characters, Frigates = 25 characters, and Submarines = 20 characters? Those are awfully long names. Or are they one row’s worth? which is to say, Aircraft carriers = 10, Battleships = 8, Destroyers = 6, Frigates = 5, Submarines = 5. Which gives a trace more variety. If the latter, I suggest Brunnhilde for John’s aircraft carrier. Makes perfect sense, no?

  20. Hello Jaime, you cartoon-hating, Megadeth-disliking person you.

    Your second deduction is right in my case, not sure about your pretentious classical friend. Go on, fire a coordinate at him.

  22. Actually, upon mature reflection I wish to withdraw my #18 nutting of Mr Mackie and replace it with:-

    What you are looking at, pal, is

    The “stitch that” is reserved for the interllektual wot hav just put in an appearance.

    Really big smiley thing.

    OZ

  24. And gosh, I’m surprised you think I’m a cartoon hater. I love cartoons and was going to suggest that you name your battleship after that Prince of Cartoon Characters …

    (wait for it) …

    Donald Duck.

  27. Jaime, good morning. Brunnhilde would have been a fine choice. I wish that I had thought of it but our ships’ names are already in place and it’s not there.

    JW – Miss.

    OZ, you and whose pack? Smiley thing and HIT! Submarine. ‘A’

    Janh1, good morning and sorry. Miss.

    JW, again – P10.

  28. This could be a long drawn out war.

    Skirmishes seem to be breaking out all over the place, John. You pick a fight against OZ and his wolf pack while I try and intimidate the, well I thought she was, pacifist Jaime. Turns out she’s got claws.

    And Janus, even though you’re from the Land of the Laudrups, any more jibes against the next in line to the throne and we’ll put you in the Tower of London.

  29. HI, JW. Isn’t it fun watching the tumbleweed rolling by? I had a feeling that the Southrons would not appreciate the many subtleties of Jock ‘Battleships’and would have insufficient dourness and/or thrawnicity to follow it through. Same with tossing the caber, really.

    So, it’s just you and me and here’s my other two turns. Q18 and B2.

    Having a torrid afternoon watching England struggling against Pakistan. Personally, I blame Cameron who has obviously psyched the entire nation up to give ‘us’ a good doing. If ‘we’ lose another wicket, I may have to switch over to watch Lyons stuffing the Sellick. Wouldn’t RoO be crowing, were he but still here?

  30. Ha ha 🙂 😉 😕 8) 😉 😆 😳

    I did wonder how you expected the spectators to chip in without some form of ‘mastergrid’

    On a separate note, I wore one of my Bok T shirts today (the one signed by Stix), it was still a bad day for us even though we weren’t even playing 😦

  31. Soutie, hi.

    Grids will be forthcoming in due course once there’s something worth recording. Bit of a phony war with only one hit to date. Have you no patience, man?

    And I was bowling this morning. And I forgot to record it. And I’ve just googled it. And never mind. The All Blacks will still bottle it yet again in the World Cup next year. C’mon the Bokke (assuming Scotland don’t make the final, of course).

  32. Hi John,

    As the excitement mounts for the expectant spectators, I can reveal that your last three missiles were all misses. To drag up some interest I was thinking of moving one of my ships into a hit position. Early days, I’m sure when the dust has settled and the seas have calmed this game will go down in folklore. (He says, while trying to stifle a yawn)

    Maybe the welcoming regulars will do an about turn and clamour for this blog to be removed. Using the Duckworth Lewis method this would give me victory.
    Let us continue. I’ll have a quick three shots.
    Q3, Q7 and Q11

  33. JW, hi pal.

    Pakistan 15-3 and all’s right with the world. Prior did well to dig himself out of that particular hole.

    Anyhoo,

    Q3 – Miss

    Q 7 – HIT, Destroyer, ‘W’

    Q 11 – HIT, Destroyer, ‘O’.

    It’s a worry and this could all well end in tears for the East Coast. Time for the grids, perchance, to try to drum up something more than complete indifference from our fellow ‘authors’?

    P7, P11 and P15?

  34. We must be the only two people north of the border who are pleased to see England do well at cricket. For sure, I know of no one else who does. Mind you, my range of friends is limited to a certain type of individual.

    I see you have copied my strategy. Unfortunately, your Enigma code is a bit off; all three are misses again. (And the crowd’s sigh drowns out the sound of the vuvezela)
    Three quickies again.

    D5, D9 and D13.

    Need to shuffle away now, off for a few drinks. Keep the spectators amused, now willya?

  35. I’m beginning to agree with CO. This is all utter hogwash, in my opinion.

    D5, HIT, Frigate, ‘E’

    D9, Miss

    D13, Miss.

    B8, F8 and K8?

    Enjoy those drinks. I don’t imbibe on the night before the Sabbath, of course, but it is a free (or even Wee Free) country.

  36. Took you long enough to make up your mind!
    What with battleships with no frame, slagging off big ears,endless introspective claptrap of photographs/U tube clips of cacophony and rehashes of old maxims on here, I think I’ll attend to my other ‘deadheads’, the roses.
    More productive.
    Dammit, forgot the ‘creative’ writing, a counterintuitive expression if ever I ‘saw’ one.
    (Looked vaguely like a porcupine crossed with a three toed sloth.)

  38. christinaosborne :

    Took you long enough to make up your mind!
    What with battleships with no frame, slagging off big ears,endless introspective claptrap of photographs/U tube clips of cacophony and rehashes of old maxims on here, I think I’ll attend to my other ‘deadheads’, the roses.
    More productive.
    Dammit, forgot the ‘creative’ writing, a counterintuitive expression if ever I ‘saw’ one.
    (Looked vaguely like a porcupine crossed with a three toed sloth.)

    Oh well, your choice, Tina.

    Surprised you lasted this long, actually.

  41. Gentlemen – Good morning and sorry to have fallen off the pace, but I was busy rounding up the pack to discuss the meaning of life with Mr Mackie.

    And, for him, the next broadside for submarine ‘A’ goes to C3.

    OZ

  42. “What with battleships with no frame, slagging off big ears,endless introspective claptrap of photographs/U tube clips of cacophony and rehashes of old maxims on here, I think I’ll attend to my other ‘deadheads’, the roses.” Copyright CO.
    Thank the stars you didn’t read the Wheelie Bin one.

    Morning JM et al.

    Got a busy day ahead so withour further ado.

    B8- Miss
    f8- Hit, Aircraft Carrier- /I/
    K8- Hit, Aircraft Carrier- O

    OZ has fired a C3 at you, thanks OZ.
    I’ll fire B4.
    Hopefully today someone will choose the third volley.

  44. JW, my attempt at the Embran grid is now in the post and I am hoping that Boa might be able to improve it and insert yours to allow me to edit it in due course.

    As you will see, C3 (OZ), B4 (you yoursel’) and Q6 (Soutie the Impartial) all failed to register.

    I’m offering CO’s J10 from another post (whether or not she wants me to) and T10 for myself. I fervently hope somebody else will give you my third salvo in this round, given that we now have evidence that there will be grids.

    I am, by the way, assuming that you are happy with the fact that misses are being recorded in the colour green. Works for me.

  46. OZ, good evening, Thanks for said D2 and I am sure that JW will thank you for the J4 on his behalf in due course.

    That’s his grid on the post as well now . I know that his is a slight mess presentation-wise, but I promise to try better next time.

    JW, my salvo is fired, and I await your response. I have high hopes of the J10 of my close personal friend, CO, who appears to have thrown herself unreservedly into the battle.

  49. A small point of order Admiral Mackie

    I asked for an eachway strike on Q6, you appear to have borrowed Nelson’s telescope and misread the message 😦

  51. Sorry to hear of your injury, John, and wish you a speedy recovery. Nevertheless, the pain in your knee has gone to your head. How could you not know what an each-way salvo is? You’ve also put Soutie’s Q6 strike under O6. Sorry about this Soutie, as Basil Fawlty might say. “He’s from Embra.”

    You’re also trying to confuse me by printing my grid the way I dislike it i.e. A1 top left instead of bottom left. No bother, we’ll continue.

    T10 and D4 are both misses. Thankfully nuclear annihilation is also averted as Christina’s Trident missile (J10) is a dud. An all green round.

    I’ll add J18 to Oz’s J4 and let another author have the third go.

  53. My apologies for taking so long to get back with this. I think I have got all your hits in properly. The only problem is that I couldn’t read all the letters on your pictures. I would suggest that you keep the abbreviations to just two letters, the table will expand to accommodate more, but then the table might get too big… on the other hand you may prefer your grid. If you want me to take these out just yell! Getting on this site will be easier for the next few days… 🙂

    I think this might be easier to edit since you can put in the hits directly from the “Edit Visual mode’ and put the letters in the right colour there as well.

  54. Boa, good evening and thanks for all your work. May all be a waste of time as I’m getting murdered here and it may all well all be over before Christmas.

    JW, Oz missed with J4 but you hit a carrier with J18 (W) and Ferret struck home on a destroyer (L).

    I apologise to Soutie for not picking up on the fact that he was firing at both sides simultaneously, so please deal with his Q6 this time and it’s an R4 from me. Hopefully, the third salvoist will come along soon.

    As you will see, I have updated Boa’s grids with the current state of play. Please check them and advise me of any errors I may have made.

  55. Woo Hoo!

    Water may cover 2 thirds of the globe, but air covers all of it.

    For my Sea Eagle launch versus JW I choose India 8. Weapons free, fox 2, birds away.

  56. As the ‘sick fail to make the Champions League it gives me great pleasure to say Evening all.
    I think the grids are now in order although what happened to my blue colour?

    Soutie’s unexploded Q6 exploded…and was a miss.
    Ferret’s I8 hit the carrier (Y).
    JM’s R4 hit a battleship (R).

    You’re right back in it, jammybo, though it won’t be long before some guesses get shouted out about some of your fleet.
    Q10 from me.

  58. Hello OZ

    You are not a wolf at this game, you are a shark! I can see you achieving the most hits on the board. We will have to award a prize of some sort to the Top Gun. Any ideas on what my Aircraft Carrier is called? Wrong guesses are part of the fun and I can’t wait to speculate on JM’s composers as I know next to nothing about composers apart from Bozart and Bitehoven.

  60. Thanks Boa,

    That’s three for me and two for John. More coordinates (I think JM is wrong, not for the first time, in using co-ordinate. Argue, discuss or ignore as is your want) are welcome as this could be a big, big, big salvo.

  61. JW – I will next try I18 for your aircraft carrier, oh, and G8 for your other one. Still thinking about the names.

    OZ

  63. Thanks for your contributions, OZ.
    I’ll leave John to fix out the state of play in the morning.
    See you soon. I’m away to laugh at some of the ‘sick fans. 🙂

  65. Oops! Before Mr. Mackie’s Jockanese sensibilities are outraged, I meant to write durma bem instead of dorma bem, ‘dormir’ – ‘to sleep’- being one of those pesky irregular verbs in Portuguese that changes its stem spelling when forming the imperative tense.

    Jeez, but you’ve got to be careful around here! 🙂

    OZ

  67. It is with deep regret that I have to announce the sinking of the recently reported royal holiday sloop which was passing through your warzone in an effort to revive the spirits of all its royal shipmates. Rear Admiral Edward was heard to cry out, “This is worse than Portsmouth Dockyard!” while Stoker Andrew remarked that even life with Fergie was better. One, of course, was not amused, again.

  68. Woo Hoo JW,

    I haven’t got a Scooby Doo what the name of your carrier is, but if they have any sense they will be manning the lifeboats.

    I have almost run out of time on target and am close to bingo fuel. No point lugging this Exocet under the port wing all the way back, JM prepare to abandon ship. Quebec Eight Q8.

    Birds away, I see two smoke trails streaming towards that scared looking destroyer. Looks like JW launched on it too.

    Thats me up to 30,000 and recovering to base. Rearm, refuel, mug of brew and a bacon buttie then back to the fray. 🙂

    Why does the name WALDO stick in my mind?

  69. Janus :

    It is with deep regret that I have to announce the sinking of the recently reported royal holiday sloop which was passing through your warzone in an effort to revive the spirits of all its royal shipmates. Rear Admiral Edward was heard to cry out, “This is worse than Portsmouth Dockyard!” while Stoker Andrew remarked that even life with Fergie was better. One, of course, was not amused, again.

    Oops, sorry Sir Edward, my bad. 😦

    Bit of marine varnish and some elbow grease and it’ll buff right out I reckon.

  71. Ah Buggrit Boa,

    Theres a typo up above, next to my last hit it shows the target as having 5 letters. I see now it has six. Wilson sounds good, could be Sir William Walton, he composed Portsmouth Point in the 1920s.

  75. Ah Jan,

    Haven’t you heard? Cluster munitions are out dear. Not very sporting, apparently the enemy gets a bit miffed when their children get vaporised playing hide and seek.

  76. Right, I think that’s it up to date.

    Janus (known as ‘DK’ for the purposes of the grid), nice one.

    As you may have spotted, my avatar is of the former Royal Yacht Britannia who, although born in Weegieland, has had to the good sense to end her days in Embra.

    Ferret (‘FT’ if you ever miss) Hit, Destroyer A.

    OZ (‘OZ) and Boa (I’m working on it but I think it had better be ‘BC’) simultaneous strike on one of my subs. ‘C’

    JW Hit Destroyer ‘O’.

    It’s about time to say ‘goodnight Bill-boy’ to one of my favourite members of the Walton family. Spot-on Ferret and Boa.

    JW, E8 & H8 from OZ and Boa already logged. I’ll let somebody else have my other turn since I’m off back to work and will miss the bus if I take time to study the grid.

  77. Stuff your Waltons, William Wilton’s are more memorable even if they are not lucky with boats.

    William Wilton was the first manager of the most successful football team in the world and set us off on the path to greatness. Sadly, he died in a boating accident.
    http://www.rangers.co.uk/articles/20040210/william-wilton_2255473_1555141

    Coincidentally (not co-incidentally) there was a William Wilton on the Titanic.
    http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-biography/william-wilton.html

  79. OK back out over the theatre, full tanks and a rack full of ASW goodies.

    JW see if you will the cruise missile wave hugging it’s way towards Hotel Eight, H8. 🙂

  80. Yikes!!!!

    Blue on Blue!!!!

    +++ Priority Traffic COMSUBLANT Top Secret +++

    Emergency reassign of target coordinates authorised. ALASM access code Bravo, Uniform, Golf, Golf, Echo, Romeo.

    FLASH (Ferret Launched Anti Ship Homing) missile no longer heading for Hotel Eight but Golf Eight. Repeat G8.

  82. Ferret :

    Ah Jan,

    Haven’t you heard? Cluster munitions are out dear. Not very sporting, apparently the enemy gets a bit miffed when their children get vaporised playing hide and seek.

    What about nukes? Are we allowed those?

  83. Mr Mackie – Brave boy. 🙂 Of all the contributors to this site only you could get away with calling the Lady Boadicea ‘BC’. Come to think of it she hasn’t replied thus far, so maybe you aren’t yet safe.

    OZ

  84. theroyalist :

    Stuff your Waltons, William Wilton’s are more memorable even if they are not lucky with boats.

    William Wilton was the first manager of the most successful football team in the world and set us off on the path to greatness. Sadly, he died in a boating accident.
    http://www.rangers.co.uk/articles/20040210/william-wilton_2255473_1555141

    Coincidentally (not co-incidentally) there was a William Wilton on the Titanic.
    http://www.encyclopedia-titanica.org/titanic-biography/william-wilton.html

    Struth, JW, do you have to drag references to the Huns into everything? Although I see, according to Wiki that Wilton’s assistant, the aforementioned William Struth, was with him when he had his ‘accident’ and got his job. Succession by submersion perhaps?

  85. How about my Bach Mr M? Is it right or wrong… 🙂

    Oz – I’ll let JM live… for now !

  86. OZ, I feel sure that Boa will have realised that the ‘BC’ is a respectful reference to the name of this forum – ‘Boadicea’s Chariot’. I can’t think what you might believe it meant.

  90. Boa, yes but which one? Not that it matters, of course, but, if I had my time again, he would have been a frigate and probably the ‘London’ Bach – http://www.pennuto.com/music/cpe_bach.htm

    In truth, it was the Daddy that I was thinking of.

    For the avoidance of doubt, the views expressed in this clip do not necessarily reflect those of the writer, but it is a beautiful piece of music, in my opinion.

  91. Oh! Posh music, eh? 🙂 Gimmee ‘Tiger Feet’ or something by Suzie ‘Rear of the Year’ Quatro every time.

    OZ

  92. OZ, er? The clue’s in the rules.

    ‘Slight variant in that the names of all my fleet relate to classical music pre 1960 – composers, performers or the names of entire works, JW has rock post 1960 on the same terms. Tracks definitely not allowed.’

    Although, to be fair, I see that SQ is is definitely pre-1960, having been born in 1950, so I suppose that I could have had her as I totally agree with you that she was a classic.

  95. ‘Slight variant in that the names of all my fleet relate to classical music pre 1960 – composers, performers or the names of entire works, JW has rock post 1960 on the same terms. Tracks definitely not allowed.’

    Oo-er! When you meant post 1960 I didn’t think it meant born after 1960. This doesn’t leave me with much to play with; Robbie, The Spice Girls and a few others while you’ve got 400 years of material. All my ships are named after singers/bands that were popular from 1960 onwards. Don’t panic, they’re all reasonably well-known. For what it’s worth, there are no tracks.

    Now that that’s cleared up, here are the latest results.

    Hibs 2 Maribor 3 (agg 2-6). Another greenie bites the dust.
    E8- HIT carrier (V)
    G8- HIT carrier (D)
    H8- HIT carrier (B)

    I’ll add D15 to OZ’s E2 and give an author the third strike.

  96. Haw, JW. Yes, always a joy when there’s a deep depression over Leith instead of sunshine. Hibees no more!

    For clarification, and given our agreed rules of engagement, should G8 be ‘D/’ to indicate a break or am I just being too presumptuous? If so, I apologise. I am, in reality, a very ‘umble person and know my place, just like that character in ‘David Copperfield’.

    Still happy with co-ordinates, by the way. It’s an English English v US English thing, in my opinion. I could, of course, be wrong.

    The SQ remark was, of course, just an excuse for a quick communal lust with OZ about fond memories of bygone objects of desire. It’s only the music that has to be post-1960.

  98. ++++ Priority FLASH Traffic +++++

    COMSUBLANT to all Furry Flying Death Dealing Missile Platforms.

    Be advised satelite imagery has detected the Weegie Aircraft Carrier David Byron in the vicinity of Golf Eight.

    The Admiral of the furry fleet dislikes Uriah Heep. All furry forces are Weapons Free, seek out and destroy the AC David Byron with extreme prejudice.

    +++++ Message Ends +++++

  99. I see the latest salvo against Embran Naval Forces is complete.

    I shall therefore task our Aegis Orbital Death Super Laser to target the Weegie Fleet on its next pass. In compliance with the Furry Admirals directive, the death ray will centre on Charlie Eight, C8.

  100. JW, in haste. Good morning.

    Miss at D15 by you and miss at L11 for Soutie. Hit for OZ at E2 – submarine -4 – ‘H’.

    P4 and I have this feeling that you should brace yourself for incoming from the Flying Ferret.

  101. JM,

    After tasking the Death Super Laser I find myself at 60,000 feet with some small furry time on my paws. I have programmed a high altitude stealth drone to patrol Quebec Twelve. It is packing a depleted uranium shape charge, capable of penetrating the heaviest armour, post penetration a small furry tactical nuclear device will send WALTON to Davy Jones locker.

    The Drone has been tasked to wait for the current salvo to clear before comencing its radar invisible attack run.

    May I suggest that if you have any remaining personnel or items of value on board that destroyer, they are issued the order to abandon ship with immediate effect.

    Have a nice day. 🙂 Q12

  102. I see that while Stoker Andy was being torpedoed at sea, his home was being reccied – was it by burglars or by friends of Fergie hoping for a quick Pimms?

  103. So far,

    Towards Jay Dubyas Weegie Fleet:

    P4 from JM
    C8 by Death Super Laser from Furry outer space.

    Towards Mr Mackies Embran Navy:

    Q12 targetted by SHAPE nuclear warhead to be launched from a small furry stealth drone.

    Anyone else fancy a pop?

  104. Ferret, my jolly jack tars are lining the deck of HMS Walton singing ‘Nearer My God to Thee’ and awaiting the inevitable.

    In order to move the war along and in the absence of anybody else seeming to want a go, R6 to complete my turn.

  105. So cluster bombs are considered unsporting in the arena of death and destruction, Ferret? Damn, they worked fine in Worms.

    “… brace yourself for incoming from the Flying Ferret….”

    ROTFL and coughing. Whisky someone! Quick!

  106. Evening all, sorry about the lateness. Friday night Fives and the analysis of the match in bar afterwards took precedence, I’m afraid.

    Firstly, hyphens should only be used when necessary. OK for co-op not really the case in coordinate. Of course, I’m probably wrong.

    The missing forward Sash on D was a minor overlook by me and I will be more careful in the future. However, some fans of Uriah Heep who talk fast say the two words as one: DavidByron.

    Ferret, you’re right and I hope JM is tallying up all the right guesses as well as hits. Like your commentary as well by the way. Keep the bombardments coming.

    I had an abundance of David’s to choose from: Bowie, Essex, and Byrne but opted for the lesser known Heep guy. Sorry OZ, on account of too many letters Dave Gilmour didn’t make The Final Cut.

    P4 miss
    C8 Hit carrier (D)
    R6 Hit battleship (G)

    I’ll go for a D18 this time.

  107. Morning,JW

    Grid updated and I’ve added a roll of honour for the Ship Spotters in accordance with your wishes.

    D18 noted and Ferret’s Q12 hovering patiently over the doomed HMS Walton. All we need now is one more shot. Somebody? Anybody?

  111. JW, that completes your latest salvo.

    D18 by you – miss

    Q12 by the Flying Ferret – hit destroyer 6 N. We have our first casualty as HMS Walton sinks slowly beneath the waves.

    S7 miss.

    Soutie’s S7 and K4 from me

    And here’s one for Janus from the late Sir William Walton

  112. JW, sick fed up waiting for one of our fellow authors to participate, so S13 just to try to move things on.

    No staying power these Southrons, in my opinion.

    Good result for youse yins against the Toon and not bad for us against the Riversiders – never heard that before but Wiki assures me that that is their nickname.

    Never heard of Jack Wilshere, Kieran Gibbs and Bobby Zamora either but I am sure that they will do their country proud in their forthcoming friendly against Hungary.

  113. JM, the fabled Fabio can field an eleven without any of his WC losers. I wonder if he will?

  114. Good morning John, and I take back all I said about Billy Walton; excellent clip.

    S7 and S13 are both misses. K4, however, has struck a frigate and the letter R.

    So it’s Soutie’s S7 and B17 from me. Hopefully, there will be a taker of the third spot kick.

    Good results yesterday and if Wiki says Blackburn Rovers are the Riversiders, who am I to rock the boat? Looking forward to seeing the mighty England Cameroon Pakistan.

  115. Good morning, JW

    Watching the cricket as I type. Positively drooling at the prospect of what G Swann Esq., is going to do to the Aussies in the Ashes Series.

    B17 registered but S7 was fired in the last round and missed so that’s two we’re waiting for.

  117. Janus :

    JM, the fabled Fabio can field an eleven without any of his WC losers. I wonder if he will?

    Morning, Janus. He could but I don’t believe he will. I think he should put Rooney on but, if he does not run himself into the ground and show the same commitment that he does for Man Utd, never pick him again.

  118. Soutie, it’s JW’s turn so I’ll register it for him. Is it your usual each way so that I can lob it back at him when my turn comes?

  119. JM, yes I wasn’t going to go ‘eachway’ as the first 2 appeared to confuse the issue but if the fog has now cleared, if we are full steam ahead if both of you have fathomed out the instruction then N 18 is an eachway salvo!

    (I rather enjoyed ‘fathomed’ spelled it correctly 1st time 2!)

  120. OK, JW. Pakistan not embarrassing themselves but it won’t be long now, one trusts.

    B17 (you) miss.

    N18 (Soutie) hit Battleship 10 ‘I’

    J14 (Jaime) hit Destroyer 6 ‘L’

    N18 on the usual each way terms from Soutie and K2 from me.

  121. Looking purely at the grid, I’ll try B2 for ‘Bach’, Mr Mackie and a wild E16 for the Weegie

    OZ

  122. Evenin’

    Glad to see Pakistan take it into a fourth day as I’m off tomorrow; I get more days off than an MP.

    The wild E16 from The Cave was a miss.
    The luckless Soutie’s N18 was a miss
    The lofty K2 is a HIT! Submarine in trouble. Letter M.

    B2 from OZ who is striving to be top hitter and good luck to him.
    C6 from me.
    One more missile up for grabs. Anyone?

  123. Time’s out.

    OK John, a Shot in the Dark here and don’t have a Clouseau if this will hurt you or not.
    Third strike.
    N5. N for No Sur…you know what and 5 for 5 stars on the badge.

  124. Aye, fine that JW.

    B2 from OZ. hit. Submarine. HMS Bach will never surface again.

    C6 miss.

    N5 hit, Battleship (8) ‘B’

    Bit of the Toccata and Fugue to play HMS Bach out. Some scholars say that he did not write it but it is definitely Vanessa Mae playing it so who cares?

    M10?

  126. Hello again John,

    I have a very lazy day ahead tomorrow and will depart these shores. As for the Toccata,I am familiar with this tune as it is the soundtrack to the excellent James Caan film Rollerball. I remember the lovely Marya (poetess extraordinaire) uploading a Bach Toccata with a difference on MYT and here it is.

    Two Bachs are better than one, don’t you think?

  128. Small furry launch at the Weegie Delta Eight – D8.

    Sea Skua is skipping the wave tops nicely en route to the AC Davidbyron. As it approaches half a mile it will climb vertically to 5,000 ft. From there it will drive straight down on a balistic trajectory your close in support weapons will be unable to defend.

    Not so much Uriah Heep as Rusty Heap on the sea bed.

    Mwwwwwwaaaaaah Haaa Haaa Haaaaaaaaaaaa!

  129. Come on. JW. M10, R5 and D8. or are we suspending hostilities until you get back from your jaunt. Fine by me, by the way, I’ve got a Festival to go to.

  130. I’m thinking of joining forces with Admiral Ferret. Fur is thicker than water, don’t you know. Big snarly strike at Weegie Romeo Seven – R7.

    OZ

  131. Hold back your wolves, OZ, one salvo at a time.

    Spent a pleasant morning/lunch watching the cricket and was then cajoled (for cajoled read forced) into visiting the outlaws. Now I’m Here.

    Now I’m Here
    The closing song on side one (vinyl version) of the Sheer Hear Attack album. Recorded in 1974, the song was played live on every subsequent tour right up to the final Queen concert at Knebworth in 1986. Written by Brian Harold May. Over a raw guitar riff, Freddie’s echoing vocals lead the song into an explosion of crunching chords and mesmeric vocal harmonies.

    M10 miss
    R5 HIT battleship- letter E
    D8 HIT carrier- letter A

    N3 for me.

  132. Sorry, JW – Bloodlust and all that, but I reckon I’m having your battleship for breakfast

    and I still want a snarly R7 next go.

    🙂

    OZ

  133. OZ, fire a shot at my castle-dwelling cousin while you’re waiting.

    And while we’re waiting, let us remember the Great Aircraft Carrier King Freddie from Battleships one. His first video in this Fred but it won’t be the last.

  139. Yawn,

    Can’t be bothered to set the coordinates so I shall launch a spread of Mk54 MAKO torpedos from my ASW Sea Prince helicopter on Embran Alpha Ten. A10. If theres anything there, they will atomise it.

    I am too busy aligning the gyros on my ASROC launcher which is ready to assault the Weegie carrier DavidByron. When the dust clears I shall launch at Juliet Eight. J8.

    Ooh look at those pretty swirls in the water, they are all streaming towards the Embran fleet. Fishies in da watar JM. 🙂

  141. Breaking News from the battlefield. The famous Flying Ferret has failed for the first time. A10 is a miss.

    As is C5 from OZ but N3 hit a Destroyer (10) ‘I’.

    J8 from Ferret (FF) and R2 from Boa. K10 from me.

    We may have to hurry the game along, JW. We appear to be boring Janus.

  142. Hee Hee JM,

    Be afraid, be very afraid. Mwaaaah Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaaaaaaa.

    Your fleet is about to get hit on more times than your sister.

  143. I say we slow the game down, John. Let’s take the ball out wide and pass it to the corner flag. From there, we will shield it from incoming tacklers who will eventually concede a corner. We’ll take a short corner, shield the Jabulani and the whole rigmarole begins again.

    Quick thanks to Soutie for the HTML link. At the moment I can do italics and bold and will attempt the more trickier underline.

    Oh right, there’s a game on. Forgot.

    J8 HIT carrier letter R
    R2 miss
    K10 miss

    I’ll try S15 to go with Boa’s R2.
    One more anyone.

  145. JM,

    A second salvo of ASROCs are away, targetted for your Hotel Seven. H7.

    The full furry might of the ASW force is as we speak dropping sonobouys in a wide search pattern, it is only a matter of time before the next warship is consigned to the deep.

  147. JW, Ita Vero. Alea iacta est. Festina lente mode from now on it is.

    S15 hit Frigate (5) -‘D’

    R2 from Boa miss.

    The fabulously famous Flying Ferret is back in fine form with H7. Hit Battleship (8) ‘D’

    N12 from me. Anybody else wanting to have a shot, please take as much time as you need. We don’t want to disappoint Janus. As King Jamie I and VI puts it so well in his braw Bible:-

    ‘I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all – Ecclesiastes 9:11.

  148. Right then Jay Dubya,

    During the night a crack squad of Mustelid Marines with two-man minisubs have expertly planted enough C4 explosive on the stern of that carrier to blow it’s hull to the moon.

    I am a fair ferret, your brave mariners have 30 minutes to abandon ship before I press my small furry paw on the detonator, and consign the Weegie AC DavidByron to the depths.

    Lima Eight. L8.

  149. Jay Dubya,

    In light of Janus’ apparent confusion at the frantic pace of the battle I have reconsidered. Take a day or two, more if you like, just let me know when the carrier is clear and I will let slip the small furry ferrets of war.

  150. Thanks, Furry. The blistering pace of this confrontation was so draining. Doing anything at Xmas this year?

  151. Don’t mention it Hugh,

    We can’t all be blessed with lightning reflexes and lightspeed cognative prowess.

    I am sure you excell in other departments to compensate. 😉

  153. Thanks Ferret, although I did think you were a fraction frantic there. Slow and steady wins the race.

    JW, that’s N12 from me and L8 from Ferret. I’ll give it a couple of hours to see if anybody else wants a go.

    Off to bowl in the last League match of the season. Like HMS DavidByron, we are going down, so are just playing for pride and the chance to get soaked to the skin tonight.

  155. Good Evening John,

    Didn’t see the Scotland match tonight and just as well, hope you won your bools match.

    When picking names for the ships, there were a few of the artistes I wasn’t fond of. Uriah Heep and Mr. Byron being one of them. Anyway, he’s gone now. L8 hit’s the N.
    David Bowie is a very versatile song writer and I should have picked him. Therefore, with Janus in mind, a little Bowie ditty.

    N12 and P13 are both misses.

    Sluggishly, I will take aim at N4.

  156. Sadly JW I think that your N4 will be more splash than substance!

    I’m happy to help out with L3, searching for JM’s Destroyer. (not an eachway salvo, as more and more of the grid is revealed 50% of my eachways are obvious ‘ducks’)

    What has happened to column T? I can’t see it, not Danish sabotage I hope 😉

  158. Soutie, “what has happened to column T? I can’t see it, not Danish sabotage I hope?”

    I’ll ‘ave you know that Vikings don’t do sabotage – only in-your-face mayhem. 😉

  159. Jay Dubya,

    That was some explosion as the stern of your carrier turned turtle and slipped below the waves.

    To calibrate the super death orbital laser I am charging the 80 terrawatt capacitors for a sub-surface blast at Juliet Seventeen, J17. Unfortunately should any part of the Weegie Fleet be occupying those coordinates, it will of course be vaporised. The FurSat will be in firing position in precisely 36 minutes. Have a nice day. 🙂

  160. 36 minute warning? Did you have to beat Bliar Tony’s 45? Not even time for decent shampoo and set.

  161. Soutie :

    Sadly JW I think that your N4 will be more splash than substance!

    I’m happy to help out with L3, searching for JM’s Destroyer. (not an eachway salvo, as more and more of the grid is revealed 50% of my eachways are obvious ‘ducks’)

    What has happened to column T? I can’t see it, not Danish sabotage I hope ;)

    Evening, Soutie, how true, in re N4. I do my best to help, instruct and inform the Weegie, but it is a bit of a worry sometimes.

    JW, pal. N5 is a Battleship and N3 is a Destroyer. ‘And it must follow as the night the day’, as Lord Polonius had it, that N4 has to be a miss, given the non-contiguity rule. I’m surprised that our own Great Dane did not point that out to you, since he is taking such a keen interest in the game.

    More importantly, Soutie, the ‘T’ column thing is also a worry. I think it’s to do with the fact that, as I populate the squares, the grid expands past the margins. Reluctant to try to to tweak it myself, Could you or Boa please look at it to see if it’s fixable?

  162. As held the telescope to my blind eye I saw no signal.

    Full steam ahead and ignore the icebergs!

  163. JW, N4 miss as previously intimated.

    L3 from Soutie. Hit Destroyer (6) ‘E’.

    OZ, who is obviously not concentrating as he waits to hear from Jaime, N2 Miss.

    Moving on, R3 from OZ, J17 from Ferret and I18 from me.

  164. If any one is looking in – I’m just experimenting with the grid to see what I can do to make column ‘T’ visible…

  166. Thanks for pointing this out to me Soutie! I’ve tried to make the columns smaller – but the only successful way that I can see at the moment is to make the font smaller.

    If anyone has any better ideas – let me know!

  167. Now then JM,

    In the time afforded by the Weegie admiral I have despatched my Sea Prince ASW helo to pepper the vicinity of Hotel Eight H8 with Stonefish mines. Those li’l babies are passive and lurk at various heights below the surface. Anything larger than a minnow in that stretch of sea will discover they are packing an HE warhead of Hiroshima proportions.

    “Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum”

    (Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.)

  168. You may have to go even slightly smaller, grid one has no hits in columns F, G, I, M, O and T.

    These will obviously expand as the game progresses!

  169. I wondered about that Soutie – but I don’t want to make it too difficult to read. The only other possibility is to put the initials for misses on two lines – we are not constrained on height only on width.

    What do you reckon?

  170. I not sure why we need initials!

    A simply X would suffice, we have the ‘hall of fame’ and ‘roll of honour’ for members who like to see their names next to their successes.

    Perhaps input from the two J’s would be helpful 😉

  173. Mornin’ all. I have really tried to concentrate on my daily shots today and will therefore fire at Embra’a M3 and Weegie’s R8.

    OZ

  174. Morning John

    If a simple X will do, I’ll remove the formatting that makes the letters smaller.

  175. All misses changed to X. Stil waiting for JW to respond.

    No need to rush, JW. I’m off on the sleeper to the Great Wen for 3 nights of R&R. Probably won’t be allowed to go anywhere near a computer.

  176. Very good JM, much better, enjoy your break, 3 days without any moves on here what on earth are we going to do to fill the time?

  177. “I do my best to help, instruct and inform the Weegie, but it is a bit of a worry sometimes.” You are one to talk, maroon faced boy.

    Comment #108- Soutie- “Ill offer S7 (eachway of course!)”
    S7 is a miss, you have X’d R7. (Vroom, Vroom).

    I’ve not updated my grid for awhile and I’m using your “Master” copy here instead. It’s a chore scrolling up and down and in tiredness I might have looked at the wrong chart for my misfired torpedo. Cynics might argue I am deliberately trying to lose so that I can YouTube all my ships and therefore not have to listen to the interminable drone of your boats when they bite the dust.

    Ferret’s radio commentary is a highlight in this post and he’s taken to the true spirit of the game unlike sourpuss Janus. Unfortunately, the flying Ferret’s J17 is a miss as is OZ’s R3. Your I18 has hit a frigate (E)

    M3 from OZ. H8 from Ferret and G7 from me.

    Enjoy your break.

  178. Fine that, JW. Pride goes before a fall. I must have done a wee bit inadvertent transposition when I was converting all those initials to ‘X’s.

    Thinking that I might start filling in all non-possible squares with black ‘x’s given the non-contiguity rule. Any thoughts?

    Meanwhile, R8 from OZ and H3 from me. One more to come.

  179. ‘Ere, what happened to my comment #157, R3 blast at HWS (His Weegie’s Ship) Greg Lake?

    OZ

  182. Mr Mackie,

    Several explosions were reported during your shore leave, I am wondering why we have not received an update from the Embran Admirals yet. If this is how your comanders perform when you are away from the coal face, may I suggest that you start culling some of the deadwood?

    Hugh,

    Sourpuss is reasonable, or would you prefer Conscientious Objector?

  183. Mr Mackie,

    I find myself in need of destruction. Here is a picture of the li’l puppy I have just launched at Hotel Nine, H9. I provide a picture because you will not see the one that hits you as it penetrates your hull at supersonic velocity mere feet above the waterline.

    Its a 3M-54 Klub ASM, known as The Sizzler. The furballs down in our Russian Minkworks have just rolled it out, and I thought it rude not to perform a live firing exercise for them. I have launched it at the maximum range of 300 km, it has a 400Kg conventional warhead and is capable of taking out entire aircraft carriers. I imagine anything lurking in H9 (I suspect an ‘N’) will soon be reduced to its component atoms. Enjoy. 🙂

    As for the Weegie fleet. Curses, I have missed the last call for the latest salvo! At least it will give my ASW fleet time to fuel and re-arm for a more detailed search of the ocean.

  188. Sorry about being offline, people, lots of overtime at the moment.

    The Ship spotters are wrong with Greg Lake and Reg Jones (?).

    Oz, I know where you’re coming from with R3. Gers is not as implausible a rock star as you might think. Janick Gers is a guitarist with Iron Maiden. Great band, great names (IM & Gers), though not correct in this instance.

    OK Janus, we’ll call you a Conscientious Objector. CO for short and we all know what they’re like.

    Soutie’s R11 is a hit on battleship- Letter B
    OZ’s R8 is a hit on battleship- Letter, wait for it- /S.
    Your H3 missed by many nautical miles.

    C19 from me, A flying Ferret at H9 and another shot up for grabs for anyone.

  189. JW – Would you and the Embra Admiral be good chaps and update the grid, pretty please? I’m very slow when it comes to spacial awareness unless warm and/or furry and/or hoofy is involved.

    Ta ever so!

    OZ

  191. Oz, good evening – you’re in my hands alone, I am afraid. JW can’t update my blog. Doing it at the moment now that JW has deigned to reply.

  192. OK, JW. Black ‘X’s now mark non-possible squares which had not been picked to date. Only done it around our respective sank ships so far, but I will extend the principle in due course if people think that it would help.

    Any chance of a shot at me tonight, OZ, to complete JW’s turn?

  193. Mr. Mackie – “You’re in my hands alone….”

    Aaaarrrggghhh!!! I’d forgotten on which side of the screen you were appearing.

    I probably won’t sleep tonight. 🙂

    OZ

  194. But, before I try, K3 for Embra’s ‘Delius’ and a (temporarily) puzzled R7 for the Weegie fleet.

    OZ

  195. JW, “OK Janus, we’ll call you a Conscientious Objector. CO for short and we all know what they’re like.” That’s an honour I can’t turn down……

  196. OZ, A hit with K3 and ship correctly identified as the boy Fred.

    Ferret hits my battleship yet again with H9 and JW misses as usual with c19.

    JW, R7 from OZ and G5 from me. One more shot left for somebody.

  199. Woo Hoo,

    Priority Flash Traffic….

    To all aircraft Furry Force.

    Operation SNAPSHOT repeat SNAPSHOT this is not a drill mustelids.

    Satellite recon indicates evidence of movement in the enemy fleet.

    Commence immediate ASROC salvo against Weegie fleet coordinates Romeo Sixteen, R16.

    The gratuitous deployment of extreme overkill is fully authorised. Any small furry mammals found with a single rocket unfired will face trial by courts martial. 🙂

  201. Soutie, you bein’ a ekspert n’ all, how come Reg Jones ain’t up for pederasty and assault on a minor? Surely a confessed crime is grounds for prosecution, even in the Land of the Free(what, I ask?) and the Home of the Brave?

  203. Good evening pop pickers,

    Quick results check-
    G5 miss
    R16 miss
    R7 HIT- battleship (E). Even Mr. Magoo could spot this ship but who will be first?

    Glasgow retaliates with-
    Soutie K18
    OZ H2
    and S16 from me.

  204. Haw, JW. It feels, in a very real sense, OK to say that I still have absolutely no idea about the name of your battleship REGE/S B. Respect!

    Moving on, and this is not good, in my opinion.

    K18 from Soutie Hit, Carrier (10) and ‘I’.

    H2 from OZ, hit, Battleship, ‘T’ and HMS Turandot identified, although still an unfinished work when it comes to the sinking bit.

    S16 from you yourself. Miss.

    Moving on again, S13 and thanks to whoever is tidying up the grids. I have my suspicions.

  205. The gratuitous deployment of extreme overkill is fully authorised. Any small furry mammals found with a single rocket unfired will face trial by courts martial.

    I don’t want to kill anyone, this is so unfair! I am saving my knitting patterns for when they will really count, then I will launch a devastating attack with my eyes firmly closed and hope I miss.
    Boo hoo, but I am sort of enjoying the war, I’m ashamed to say.

  206. Logically, it has to be a R9 strike at the Weegie intruder, but I’m still none the wiser. 😦

    OK, Embra, I’ll take you down bit by bit if that’s what you want and return to Turandot after an Oscar 3 whammy against HMS Delius. 😉

    Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I must return to my Creative Writing. Who said wolves can’t multi-task?

    OZ

  207. Hello OZ and Ara,

    JM, JM, JM

    Repeatedly I asked for my grid to flow like a business chart (or a limited overs cricket worm) i.e. A & 1 at bottom left. The / comes before the S. My vertical names are upside down. Hope this clears things up and delighted to have had your respect, for a moment, at least. 🙂

  208. jw, I see, at long last, what you are saying. Sorry for being so slow. I have still never heard of the guy.

    This is all going to be a wee bit too much for our biggest devotee, Janus (aka CO), but I am sure that we can work it out. I’m going out now and I may be some time but if you feel this need to read up rather than down, I will do my best to humour you. I take it that you are still prepared to work with the slightly more conventional left to right in horizontal terms?

    The way things are going, Cook will be lucky to follow in in the footsteps of his illustrious namesake and make it to Australia, in my opinion. Matt Prior, on the other hand, is a demi-god.

  210. I’ll add K18 (kay ateen) to John’s S13, and Oz’s R9 (upside down, I’m still laughing!)

  211. Newsflash: new 3D video commercial trails drama at sea stop scotch tape version released stop tipped for brit awards stop can’t stop now stop

  213. Despotic Fleet Commander Mackie.

    Streaking in from the west at 30ft ASL is a stealth JSF piloted by the intrepid furball none the less. In the water near Embran Hotel Three H3, is a blacked out rib with a small squad of musty marines. One of the brave li’l furballs has a laser designator and is painting the forward magazine of the Turandot.

    Shortly I shall engage afterburner and clim vertically to 10,000ft where I shall deploy a laser guided JDAM GBU-31, lobbing it at the top of my climb to create a balistic arc.

    The 2000lb warhead of the Mk84 at the heart of it will turn that section of ship into glitter. Mwaaaah Haaa Haaaaaa.

  214. Soutie, stop rubbing it in with the HTML codes. One day, I’ll crack the codes; watch this space. Meanwhile, you have correctly identified HMS Reges Bob.

    JM, of course horizontally the names scan OK. I asked for A/1 bottom left not bottom right. Billstruth.

    It is disadvantageous when half your fleet are already soaking upside down before battle begins. The good thing is it makes them hard to spot. Anyway, old Bob will soon be upside down for real as R9 hits a B/. That’s a slash after B meaning B is the last letter of the name. This is hard going.
    K18, S13 are both misses.

    Oz’s O3 is after Delius (She’s a cook, isn’t she? And probably in better form than Alistair)
    Ferret’s JDAM GBU-31 is homing in on Turandot H3. Turandot? You’re making them up now.
    And to complete the trio, O5 from me.

  215. JW, good evening. Kind of strange being a Jock sometimes, isn’t it? We tend to see the best and worse in others and we are also awful good at maudlin, to be fair. I never shared Jimmy Reid’s politics but I never ever thought that he was anything less than an honourable and good man. On the one occasion that I met him, he seemed to be a nice guy as well. I take it that he was a Hun, being Govan? Whatever, respect and a sad day!

    Moving on, ‘Turandot’ was a sop to you. I had assumed, in an arrogant sort of Embran way, that it was the one opera which you might possibly recognise due to one of the songs.

    The Test is a bit of a worry!

    Back once I’ve updated.

  216. Fine then.

    OZ hit on my doomed destroyer Delius (6). ‘U’.

    Ferret a hit on H3. Battleship (8) ‘U’.

    You yourself. O5. Hit. Battleship (8)’L’.

    Off we go again.

    O20 from me and goodnight.

  218. I15 from me, (eye fifteen)

    JM It couldn’t be an upside down frigate named Elvis by chance? 😛

  221. Mornin’all – Oh, I’m going to enjoy this double whammy!

    P3 to finish off HMS Delius and R10, the coup de grace for the pesky HMS regeS boB.

    OZ

  222. Mr Mackie,

    Drat! I have missed my shot at the Weegie again.

    Do not be too alarmed when your surface radar detects the fourship of Furry Typhoon interceptors currently at Mach 2 heading for Hotel Four, H4. They are not your problem.

    They have already launched their Maverick AGM-65 fire and forget homing missiles and those li’l puppies are most definitely worthy of note.

    If they’ve got any ordinance left, they will conduct a SEAD mission on the train of Janus’.

    Embra H4 from me.

  224. JM,
    Jimmy Reid’s prime was before my time, nonetheless, warm words from you. Montserrat Caballe, for obvious reasons, is as far as my opera knowledge goes.

    O20 is a miss.
    Soutie’s I15 was, I think, intended for an Embran Elvis. Much as Hearts get pulverised often, let’s be fair and I’ll take the strike instead and it’s a HIT. Submarine: Letter O. (time to stand on your head again, Soutie)
    R10 sinks the Seger.

    I expect no one with the possible exception of Jaime, to listen to this marvellous rendition of Seger’s Turn the Page by the mighty Metallica. Goodbye, boB.

    BREAKING NEWS***- Critics have favourably reviewed the rushes from the upcoming untitled Battleships two movie. Although, they were vehement that the wooden acting of the CO was bogging. STOP***

    P3, H4 and J13 from me.

  226. Glasgow Vernacular #2. Bogging.
    This can be used when describing something dirty. Say after playing football, your clothes are bogging, though, clattie is the preferred choice for most. Bogging can also mean not very good. Bogging acting for example.

    Listen CO, you called me a pict. That’s fighting talk. 🙂

  229. Hi, JW. Over here on the civilised side of the Good Lord’s ain hameland, it’s ‘boggin’ ‘ and ‘clartie’. We could, of course, be wrong since we have little experience of those particular concepts, being Embran. Agree ‘drookit’ but you can not spell ‘clype’ to save yourself, in my opinion.

    Not that an inability to spell makes you a bad person. Take thon shelpit, torn-faced scunner and self-proclaimed gadly, the CO aka Janus. Thon glaikit and birkie gomeril cannae even spell a simple wird like ‘manoeuvres’. Still, enjoying his contributions, of course, even if he has deployed Flanders and Swann against us. May he be forgiven!

    Anyhoo and moving on, Elvis was one of the best. A great-hearted servant for both Huns and Jambos and I personally am glad that he got a chance to earn a few more medals, even if it was with the ‘Tic.

    OZ sinks ‘HMS Delius’ with P3. The Flying Ferret fires yet another deadly missile into the bowels of the doomed ‘HMS Turandot’. You, as usual, miss with J13.

    Back to Jimmy Reid. I went over to the dark side and bought a ‘Weegie Herald’ today to read about his funeral. The more that I learn about the guy, the more that I respect him. Did you know that, like all sensible Jocks, he was a rabid supporter of the English cricket team? Still think that ‘we’ can win this Test to move above the Aussies in the world rankings.

    Q14 from me.

  231. Janus :

    Doesn’t this catch the mood of your manoevres? :-)

    Janus, of course it does. One of my favourite F&S songs. But not my absolute favourite which is, of course a ‘Song of Patriotic Prejudice’ which I still believe should be the English National Anthem.

    Last year, I went to an F&S tribute act appearing at the Embran Festival Fringe. As the encore, they called for an audience vote. PC and self-preservation obviously meant that the above song was not an option. We were offered ‘Slow Train’, the ‘Hippopotamus Song’ which they obviously expected to win and another song which happens to be my second favourite.

    I am proud to say that, from the front row and to the intense embarrassment of Mrs M., I roared down an entire audience of about 50 people and they sang my song.

    And, for the avoidance of doubt, you cannot spell ‘manoeuvres’, in my opinion.

  232. Morning John,

    So there are/were other willow on leather types up here, good to know. Will miss today’s nail biter as the under 21 season kicks off and I follow follow my son’s team. The dreadful Elvis wouldn’t get a game with them.

    Definitely no R in clattie and the shortage of vowels can only mean that clype is the Welsh variation.

    Have a word with your pal Soutie, will you? I’m getting dizzy twisting my neck, this way and that.

  233. OK, I know it’s ten to two AM – Don’t even ask!!.

    I’ll leave the Flying Ferret with his amazing weapons collection to finish off Her Majesty’s Embrian Ship Turandot and have a tentative broadside at P5, which I hope is a ‘G’ for HMES Elgar.

    Admiral Weegie seems both adept at hiding his fleet and possessing some pretty arcane knowledge of modern music. We shall see if K5 yields a result.

    OZ

  234. Morning OZ,

    Well if you must ask. Just played a few games of Call of Duty (Modern Warfare2) online and made a few chess moves on chessworld.net. Your K5 lands in saltwater. Soutie’s 31I or is it I13 misses as does JM’s Q14.

    Getting seriously worried about my integrity (because you are all such lousy shots) and wondering when all is over and done with, if it possible to send a last modified listing of my Microsoft Excel chart with my ship listings via E-mail. Come on, trust me fellas, I even took the hit for the Embran Elvis on the last volley.

    Back to Clipe.
    May I call as a witness, the bus conductor, Clippie.
    Are you called Clyppie?
    No.
    Thank you. Your honour, I have no more questions.

    G’night (or morn’) OZ. Thanks for P5. A7 from me. And one more to come.

  235. I’ll lob D4 (dee fore) on JW’s behalf, hopefully the 1st letter of his non-upside down frigate then, with a bit of luck and the advantage of my time differential I may just get to name another one ❓

  236. Backside’s penance: manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres manoeuvres……….. 😦

  237. Aye that’ll be right then, JW. Your ‘evidence’ is struck from the record for being a complete heap of very clartie keech. As you well know, they are two different words. ‘Clippie’ (short ‘i’) derived from the action of the bus conductor punching or clipping the ticket and ‘clype’, pronounced in the same way as that polluted stream which runs through Weegietoon, Wikiledgely from the Old English ‘cleopian’ which is, in turn, related to the Middle Low German ‘kleperen’.

    A7 – your standard miss. Oz’s P5, which he thinks is attacking a frigate, hits one of my battleships (8) ‘U’. Soutie also hits with D4. Frigate (5) ‘M’.

    K5 from OZ and M14 from me.

  238. While not wanting to suggest that JW’s remark about you ‘making them up’ has any merit, I’m stumped.

    My tactics appear to have backfired, I’ll wait and bide my time.

    As you can see my extensive research for a composer begin within the letters ‘Me’ have come to naut 😉

    Big rugby match this afternoon Boks v ABs in Soweto, soccer city, almost 90,000 sold out on the first day of offer, it’s also John Smit’s 100th test (what an achievement)

    Oops nearly forgot G18 (gee ateen) searching for JW’s Frigate!

  239. Evenin all.

    The deeper recesses of The Cave beckon, but before I retire I shall leave Mr Mackie to chew on K5, (Kay fiver in Soutie-speak) which I hope is the ‘S’ of Her Majesty’s Embran Battleship Sibelius.

    Like Soutie, I have to admit that the disposition of the Weegie Fleet has me stumped. Pure genius or the luckiest admiral in history – that is the question. Anyway I shall lob a speculative L2 (Lima 2) in JM’s direction to see what happens

    Nighty night

    OZ

  240. Casting have lined up Donald Sutherland and Sean Connery for the prequel; Mickey Rourke as Ferret.

  241. Janus :

    Casting have lined up Donald Sutherland and Sean Connery for the prequel; Mickey Rourke as Ferret.

    God morgen, Janus. I trust that you have grand weather for the christenings.

    Bit of a problem with Sean Connery. No issue with him being a wearer of the green, given his ancestry, but I would prefer it if he supported the Embran originals rather than their Weegie upstart, Johnny come lately, copycat offspin. To explain, and I can feel your eyelids drooping as I type, Hibernians Football Club were the first Irish immigrant team formed in 1875. In 1887, Brother Walfrid of Weegietown nicked the idea and formed the Sellick by the simple expedient of luring away most of the Hibees best players over to the dark side.

    Whatever, I’m prepared to overlook this and accept his being cast as me. Met him once, if only for about thirty seconds, when we let him through on the 8th hole at Sotogrande, after one of us had lost his ball off the tee.

    Don’t see Donald Sutherland as JW. I see him more as Billy Boyd who played Pippin in ‘The Lord of the Rings’. Weegie born and he has named his son William so there has to be a chance that he is on the right side of the divide for JW.

    We are, of course, in advanced negotiations for Richard Wilson to play you in his full Victor Meldrew mode.

  242. JM, I’m flattered beyond words. RW is a paragon of positive karma, a veritable bastion of benign thoughts. 🙂 But what about my selection for Ferret?

  244. “Wikiledgely from the Old English ‘cleopian’ which is, in turn, related to the Middle Low German ‘kleperen’.” Aye weel, trust me to go to court against an expert. In hindsight, my case was tripe.

    OZ’s K5 is a miss. (groan)
    Your M14 is a HIT on a Frigate – letter A.
    G18 hits a Frigate – letter A

    OZ fired a L2 at your fleet forgetting about the contiguity rule and not noticing the black X on L2. We’ll forgive the Wolfman because he was up late the other night and I’ll take the shot on my side. (I’ll do anything to YouTube my groups)
    L2 is a HIT on a submarine- letter U.

    Q15 from me and two others to follow follow.

    Not got a problem with Billy Boy(d). What a name! However, Robert Carlyle phoned me up and begged to be me. He thinks the world of this role.

    Come on CO, you like this post. Click the button. Come on, what’s not to like about it. Hover the mouse over it. Come on now. You’ll be up for best supporting actor at the Oscars.

  245. JW, good result for you today. Always a joy when an ex-Hibee stuffs them with a hat trick.

    I believe as you clearly do that OZ’s K5 was aimed at me and that he intended to lob L2 at you. I’ll admit that said K5 does indeed smack HMS Sibelius right on the nose if it was fired at me.

    That should then give you Q15, OZ’s K5 and A.N Other for your attack on my ships. I’m a bit worried that the magnificent Flying Ferret will miss out yet again due to his persistent inability to be here at the right time. Do you think that we should offer him his own dedicated slot in each round, just to speed things up and to alleviate any further distress for Mr Grumpy frae Vikingland?

  246. Allow me, D7 (dee seven) although I’ve exhausted my research on HMS ‘Me_ _ _’ another letter might just help!

  247. Soutie, good evening and, before even beginning to think about commenting about D7, could I just say that the most recent Tri-Nations game was a total travesty, in my opinion?

    I realise that I am just a wee bit biased but, in my opinion, if McCaw’s leg was not in touch when he ‘scored’, then I am an Englishman.

    I’ll be back about D7 in due course.

  248. Ja well, cowboys don’t cry 😉

    I love it when the all Blacks peak in between World Cups! We did however show the world that if 15 players are kept on the field they can be beaten (well almost)

    While I’m here, could you book Charlize Theron to play Mrs. S in the movie, thanks I’d be most grateful.

  249. JW and others,

    Q15, Hit, Frigate (5) ‘E’.

    K5, Hit, Battleship (8) ‘S’.

    D7, Hit, Frigate (5) ‘B’

    Moving on, G14 from me and Charlize Theron for Mrs S., in the film. I was hoping to snap her up myself for Mrs M. but I have magnanimously decided to let Soutie have her. I suppose that I’ll just have to settle for Julianne Moore instead. It’s a worry!

  250. Evenin’ all – I thought my #239 shots last night had been quite clearly targetted (K5 for Embra and L2 at Weegie). Perhaps Admiral Weegie has been tapping the rum ration again? 🙂 No matter; it has all been sorted out now.

    As for tonight’s parting broadsides, I would like to sacrifice a shot to help put Soutie (and me) out of our collective misery and target D6 (Delta Six) for EMBRA.

    HMES Sibelius, listing and limping, can be finished off later at our pleasure. I am sure Charlise Theron could play Mrs. S wonderfully, although perhaps the actress may prove lacking in the beauty department. In a similar vein, I would therefore assume that Brad Pitt has been engaged to play Mr. S in this forthcoming epic.

    As for the elusive WEEGIE fleet, I’ll go for M2 (Mike Two). Repeat message. M2 for Admiral Weegie. Message ends.

    Nighty night.

    OZ

  251. If Charlize is in I was sort of hoping that I could play myself (NB not with myself)

    I’m deferring to FF till after noon, a bit of shore leave, nudge nudge, wink wink if you get my drift.

    In the meantime Re_b_ https://i0.wp.com/planetsmilies.net/confused-smiley-17428.gif

  252. Soutie, good morning. Back at comment 238, you were searching for answers beginning ‘ME’. Can’t quite fathom out why you now believe that my frigate starts ‘RE’.

    Learnt an interesting fact from google the other day. Did you know that the title ‘20,000 Leagues Under The Sea’ is not a reference to depth but to the distance that Captain Nemo sailed under water. Not a lot of people know that.

  253. Thanks for the heads up, to be honest I can’t quite fathom it out either, battle fatigue ?

    By the way, since we hit the 200 comment mark this page is taking an eon to load, the u-tube clips don’t help, have you considered a ‘Battleships Two (cont.)’ on a nice new faster loading post?

    I too am waiting for Janus to hit the ‘like it’ button, go on Janus, be a devil, hit the button!

  254. The frigate is toast, toast I tell you! 😉

    (need I carry on?, will I get mentioned in dispatches if I allow the mystery to continue?)

  255. Right Then Jay Dubya,

    The intel furries have spent the last few sleepness nights scanning every scrap of sattelite imagery we have, after much deliberation they have come up with a likely coordinate for one of your sneaky vessels. Quebec Seventeen, Q 17.

    Armed with this valuable intel, and of course a couple of Sea Skua anti ship missiles, the ASW helo is lining up an attack run as I type.

  257. Soutie – “If Charlize is in I was sort of hoping that I could play myself.” Yes, I thought you might have been, hence my previous comment in #250. 🙂

    So where are the protaganists tonight? Got something better to do, have you?

    OZ

  258. Greetings all,

    Soutie could be right in that we need a new page; scrolling can be tiring and has contributed to a mistake or two. Even the perfect JW10 yo-ho-hoing with a bottle of rum has made an error now and again. My only condition attached to a new page is that Janus clicks “Like It” again.

    What are you lot like, dreaming about your fantasy/celebrity wife in the movie. I am still young enough to woo Scarlett Johansson and have her say “Yes I do” to me and she would be my pick for Admiral’s wife (dunno, do they get a title or something?). However, Spielberg informs me we are way over budget and the studio wants a cheaper alternative. Step in, the Gallus (Glasgow vernacular #3, on its way), the hard as nails, the who the **** you lookin ‘it, the sexy (?), Scarlett from River City.

    OZ’s K5 is a miss for the second time (groan)
    Q15 is a miss.
    The Monday to Friday, we don’t do weekends, Flying Ferret has missed with his Q17. Imagine the shock on audiences faces when the FF misses. “Mein Gott, I thought he never missed.”

    Napoleon would have loved me.

    J11 from me.

  259. This rum is really good stuff.

    Correction and sorry OZ and a bit embarrassed you’re here at the moment to laugh at me.

    M2 hits the sub- letter S.

    Go on OZ, have a guess?

  260. Evenin’, Admiral JW Weegie – What is it with you and K5? You are really beginning to make my fur frizz and there is a suspicion of fang appearing too. Look:-

    “The deeper recesses of The Cave beckon, but before I retire I shall leave Mr Mackie to chew on K5, (Kay fiver in Soutie-speak) which I hope is the ‘S’ of Her Majesty’s Embran Battleship Sibelius.

    Like Soutie, I have to admit that the disposition of the Weegie Fleet has me stumped. Pure genius or the luckiest admiral in history – that is the question. Anyway I shall lob a speculative L2 (Lima 2) in JM’s direction to see what happens.” OZ comment at #239

    “Evenin’ all – I thought my #239 shots last night had been quite clearly targetted (K5 for Embra and L2 at Weegie). Perhaps Admiral Weegie has been tapping the rum ration again? 🙂 No matter; it has all been sorted out now……… As for the elusive WEEGIE fleet, I’ll go for M2 (Mike Two). Repeat message. M2 for Admiral Weegie. Message ends.” OZ comment at #250

    So, as far as I can see you have L2 and M2 to counter or admit. 🙂

    Nighty night.

    OZ

  262. Oh FFS and apologies, JW. I have a sticky upper case key, so please could you or an administrator (Soutie!!!) edit the html in my latest comment #260 from <b< to

    Ta ever so.

    OZ
    (Sorted S)

  263. NO K5 this time. Wots the matter with you, OZ? A smiley face to pacify the fuzzy fur and fangs. 🙂
    I bet Jan knows the name of this sub, but will she get in their first? Over to you, ship spotters.

  265. JW – Oops! I am a wolf of very little brain and it takes some time for me to compose a comment, hence your #259 and my #260 passed in cyberspace like ships in the night, as it were.

    I shall wait for Admiral Embra to update the grid before putting in the next batch of Timpson. 🙂 I really am off now to the deeoer recesses.

    Nighty night.

    OZ

  266. I’m up first as usual and can reveal that Jack Nicholson has accepted the Ferret rôle – combining bind-bending wizardry with furball fun. 🙂

  267. H14 (aitch fore teen), I was tempted to reduce “HMS Very Thinly Sliced Toast” to nothing but crumbs but then noticed that our U.S. ally hit one of JM’s destroyers during the opening salvos, I think I’ll hang around the Southern Oceans for a while.

  268. JW, you really will have to take more water with. At Comment 258 you advise me that Q15 is a miss. I am grateful for this free piece of information but would like to point out that you fired Q15 at me, that I admitted the hit and that I fired G14 at you in retaliation.

    I think Soutie’s suggestion of opening up a second front is very sensible as the post is getting unwieldy. I’ll try to attend to it tonight after I get back from crushing the Under-16 champion of Edinburgh & Leith in our club tie. Men against boys!

    Soutie has identified my frigate to my satisfaction and will be credited.

    Once you give me the G14 result, I believe that I have to answer to J11 from you, D6 from OZ and H14 from Soutie.

  269. JM,

    Don’t be alarmed but…..

    That interference your fishheads are experiencing is not a gremlin but the result of a highly complex jamming signal designed to mask the approach of a squadron of furry Harrier GR9s. They are screaming in at 50ft towards Hotel Five, H5. Once in range, each has a pair of Mk84s on their inboard pylons. Primitive I know, but some of the greener FFs need to learn the basics before I let them loose with the smart weapons. Mk84s may be basic but they are certainly devastating.

    You could try calling in a CAP from your only remaining carrier, but to be blunt, small furry paws are hovering over release buttons as I type. By the time your WAFUs strap a plane to their butts, my boys will be back at base for tea and medals. Mwwwwwwaaaah ha ha ha haaaaaaa.

  270. Hi Ferret.

    Duly noted but we’re in a backlog type of situation here. Still waiting for JW to respond to G14, then I’ve to reply to J11, D6 from OZ and H14 from Soutie. We have also moved the grids to a new post to try to speed up scrolling time – http://bearsy.wordpress.com/2010/08/24/battleships-two-redux/

    I will try to update both posts with hits and statistics but future salvoes should please be fired on the new one. I will, of course, be asking Jaime to publish the full story of the conflict in due course and we can recombine the comments then since yours, in particular, deserve to be read together in a seamless and superb stream.

Add your Comment