Right, you lot! Sit up straight and pay attention ‘cos this is reallly, really important and I need your advice.
Some of you will remember my heartfelt references to my ever-beloved A Zangada in frequent comments and in the occasional post. We were inseperable for the best part of thirty years and shared absolutely everything until she suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, slipped this mortal coil whereupon I swore that that would be that.
The problem now is that a new she-wolf has appeared from the Russian steppes – my age, erudite, seven years a widow, independent, own cave, etc., etc., and very, very attractive. Do I succumb to my baser instincts and/or stay the Lone Wolf to keep the dream of A Zangada alive?
OZ
Boadicea's Chariot 
Is the issue that you feel you would be betraying your wife? Well, it’s your call because you have to feel okay with it. You are entitled to friendship; life, love etc, and, cliched as it sounds, life goes on…
Maybe just go for lunch, meet for a drink; take it slowly etc etc. Get to know her as a friend first before you leap in. Then see how you feel.
I’d say follow your heart/ gut instincts on this one.
Sorry, I’m coming over all agony aunt!
OZ,
7 years is defo long enough chum. But like Claire says if you aren’t comfy, it probably won’t work.
Can you remember what to do with a female? 🙂
Claire – That’s exactly the issue. I never betrayed A Zandaga when she was here, neither before nor after we were married, and I’m not sure I can ‘betray’ her now she isn’t. I’ve done the ‘friends’ thing and the Russian wolf and I had our first ‘one-on-one’ lunch as recently as today following several group encounters.
I’m usually in control of things, but this one has me baffled to be honest.
OZ
Ferret – I been shaving one leg so that when I go to bed it feels like sleeping with a woman.
😀
OZ
Ferret – Seriously, I don’t know whether I feel comfy or not. At the time I swore that would be that, but now… .Is this a betrayal?
OZ
Aw, that’s so sweet…but it’s not betraying her memory by developing friendship/relationships. Like Ferret said, you have been alone for seven years…
Just carry on doing what you’re doing – taking it slowly. That way you get to enjoy her friendship and her company, you get to know her properly – and since women love being wooed/courted in the slow, old fashioned sense anyway, it’s win win all around.
I’d just carry on doing what you’re doing 🙂
But I’d quit the single leg shaving! 😉
OZ,
You make me laugh buddy.
Look I am no Claire Rayner pal, but I reckon A Zangada would have liked to see you move on by now. Your devotion is admirable chum, but 7 years is not healthy friend.
Maybe these baser instincts are your subconscious telling you that it’s time. You will never forget AZ after all, do I remember rightly she has her own tree near the cave? You should get past the idea that its cheating chum cos it just isn’t.
I know it’s old fashioned mate but there is a reason why the vows say “til death do us part” and all that. Even god gave us the occasional get out clause.
No-one could say you have not observed a decent period of mourning. Have you mentioned any of this to the cubs? I’ll bet they are keen to see you back in harness. 🙂
He’s right, OZ…
Not that it should make any difference, since this is about how you feel, but I know lots of people who have started dating, if not remarried, within months of their partner’s demise…
But you’ve got to do what feels right for you. Courage, as the French say 🙂
I don’t think you would be either disrespectful to her memory, or betraying her. What would you wish for Senhora Zangada if he positions were reversed?
My thoughts, not advice!
Cannot compute! Do not know your age.
I do not know how long you have been a widower.
After a bad divorce, not to be compared with a death, it took me 12 years to contemplate another relationship developing into marriage. I was 10 years on my own and preferred it that way.
The boy has been dead nearly two years and it feels like yesterday.
Both ferret and claire are much younger than we and have differing needs from life.
The fact that you even consider asking strangers tells me that it is probably too soon for you to contemplate another relationship, when it is right then you will know it until then I think you have to live with your memories and doubts.
Not very helpful, but other’s ratification of your decisions will not be helpful in the long run either.
Ferret – Well, death really did us part, not that many people think of it when they’re saying the words, but it still doesn’t make the current dilemma any easier for me. I’ve mentioned it to one cub, the one who is going to Saudi to teach the ragheads how to handle the Typhoon and he’s ‘cool’ with it (his quote).
OZ
Mrs Osborne,
To use your argument if I may. I may be a young whippersnapper but surely as you grow older you come to realise that life is for living and that to fit stuff in you have to hustle.
OZ,
Look chum it’s all down to you when push comes to shove. We can only tell you what we think, and I think 7 years is a very respectful period to honour AZ. Life is not a dress rehearsal chum, I say go with the flow and see where life takes you.
Is this your subtle way of telling me you have fallen in love with Eff!!
Cripes, you are doomed Oz, but we are delighted, over the moon and so so relieved.
OK now seriously. No, it is not a betrayal, it is a compliment to A Zanganda. You want to experience another happy and meaningful relationship, and it is what she would wish for you.
I don’t know if this one is The One, it will never be the same, but it could be just as rewarding. You are ready to try again. That is the important thing.
Take it slowly and see what happens.
Bravo – I would want her to be financially secure (which she would have been) but, much more importantly, happy.
Christina – I’m far the wrong side of fifty and have been a widower for four long years. Sorry, but I do not understand divorce any more than I can understand the loss of a son. The latter must have been devastating for you and you have my condolences, for what they’re worth.
The reason I have posted this is that you can’t talk to family or close friends about such matters without profound embarrassment on both sides.
OZ
Oh great there it is..
Who the hell brought love to the table Minty MBE?
This is negotiations with a view to achieving a crafty, furry leg over. Love? Sheesh! 🙂
Evening OZ
I’m a bit older than my wife and considering our lifestyles I’ll probably go first.
I’ll answer your question the other way round. What would I want my wife to do when I’m gone?
Simple?
Whatever she feels like, 7 weeks, 7 months, 7 years fine by me, like you she will be financially independent, if she wants to go on world cruises, blow money on any future grandchildren I don’t care.
As long as she (and of course the children) will be happy I know that I can go happily.
Good luck.
Oops sorry, Furry, I’m an incurable romantic, and desperate to see Eff settled and happy. Preferably anywhere other than Henley on Thames.
I’ll read it again! 😉
Araminta – Thank you. I look on ‘Dear Ethel’ as a lost grandchild, god-daughter or ward of court, the latter being the most likely and you’d better get back to me before Christmas, I can tell you.
Bless you for the serious bit. I’m more than a little out of practice when it comes to the ‘dating’ thing and feel like a teenager on his first date right now.
OZ
It is exciting though, isn’t it Oz? Great and I’m delighted for you.
I don’t mean getting rid of Eff 😉
Remember our conversations, OZ? There was a time when you couldn’t imagine such a thing happening. Now is has. I’m so glad because it means you are healing. Just enjoy the company of your she-wolf and see what happens. A Zangada would want this for you because she loved you; there is no betrayal. You know this really. Just go to the hill and have a chat with her.
A big smiley howl. xxx
Ferret – you cynical b’stard! 🙂
Soutie – Look what happened, for example, to Paul McCartney only a year after Linda. Zandaga’s sons and our grandchildren all have trust funds and everything in that direction is sorted. The new she-wolf has her own resources and is by no means a gold-digger
OZ
I think Christina makes a very good point, and while I couldn’t speak for someone who has been through her ordeals, it is worth while remembering that healing takes the time that it takes. THat said, you sound like your life with your wife was full of happy times; I daresay that is a very good place for establishing fulfillment, in whatever form it takes, in the future.
Follow your instincts, I say, whatever they may be.
Bilby – You are so right and, yes, I do remember, dammit. 🙂
If you’ll all excuse me for a moment, I’m just going to take Bilby’s sound advice and go to the hill for a howl.
PZ
OZ
gently go where your instincts take you. (You don’t need permission, really.) Talk with the lady about it, maybe? Maybe she has similar feelings about betrayal of her husband? You’ll have a lot of common ground and therefore common understanding about the complications of a relationship after a massive bereavement.
PS
Someone I know met a man and fell in love again after her husband died.
She said it was all right because,
“I love him – and I love him as much as I loved my husband. But I love him differently, for different reasons, and in different ways. So it’s not betrayal.”
Great advice, Nym.
My Dad died younger than he should have because of something nasty he picked up in the Burmese jungle during WW2. My Mum never re-married, in spite of having several offers, none of which would have worried either my brother or myself. My Mum was never really happy during the last third of her life, and nothing we could say would make any difference. I think you should go for it, as long as all inheritance issues are sorted.
Call me a shifty, no-good, unsentimental, pleasure-seeking Californian, but I don’t see the problem here. How could it possibly be a betrayal? La Zangada would most likely approve, being as how she loved you and all.
Go for it! In like Flint and all that …. 🙂
OZ – my life was turned upside down at 60. 3 years later it still is upside down. My wife is much younger than I. My gorgeous son has jsut turned 3. Despite the problems (and maybe becauset of some) I am more content. I have a home, not just a house. I have a new family. OK Enough of me. I liked Bilby’s first comment about having a chat to La Zangada on the top of a hill. For sure I would take the risk and accept someone else’s love. Love is a many splendoured thing as the song lines go but love surely shines from 360 degrees. If this new She-Wolf shines from just 3 degrees then I would still take it. And I back Ferret too. If this woman is as attractive as you say then allow yourself the pleasure of showing your appreciation! Good luck mate and keep howling! (PS Whats her bark like!) Your Mrs would be chuffed! Love and best wishes PapaG.
Furry, nice to see you again! “Look I am no Claire Rayner.” Lucky you! Are you more the Mrs Mills type then?
OZ, for what it is worth, my mum died when my dad was only 54. He was devastated. He never remarried. I firmly believe that he should have. I don’t think that he was ever really happy again until the day he died aged 83. There is a danger that as you get older, your loyalty to your wife could become a stick with which to beat her memory. You may come to resent the fact that in your 60s, 70s and 80s, you are alone because you were loyal to her. If you are able to contemplate a relationship with this woman and if she can do the same, then you are both extremely lucky. Nobody will, or certainly nobody should, begrudge you your future happiness, least of all your wife. Just be sure that both your intentions are honourable.
Zang
As far as I know we only pass this way but once and it’s up to e ach one of us to make the most of it. These are not trite words, I am fully aware that the storm clouds gather in all of our lives and some storms cab be very fierce and last a long time. But eventually the sun peeps out from behind the clouds and life becomes bearable again. Look upon this lady as a brighter part of your life beginning, small steps, or should it be steppes, to start with until you are both confident enough to stride out together and look the world in the eye, the operative word being ‘together,’ not separate lives but one.
OZ, my feeling is that if you listen to your ‘inner voice’ you’ll soon discover whether you are ‘free’ to move on. Ask yourself what AZ would do in your position, what she would approve of. I can only draw a parallel with my Dad who found himself similarly situated. He took afew tentative steps and found a new friendship, by no means a new partner, but valuable nonetheless.
OZ,one question I think you must ask yourself – would you regret not exploring this new opportunity? Therein lies your answer.
One last tip OZ,
However you decide to procede with this new she-wolf, for gawds sake don’t let her see this place until shes well and truly on the hook.
If you judge a man by the company he keeps, one look at us lot and she’ll be convinced you are way overdue your reservation at the funny farm. 🙂
The great thing about advice is that you don’t have to heed any of it.
BTW, do keep us informed about things…..
Hello OZ. Here is my few pennyworth.
One day, 12 years ago, my husband and I were sat having breakfast, I asked him if he wanted one slice of toast or two; he didn’t reply. He was sat motionless. Within seconds he slumped sideways, I rushed to support him in what I thought I was a faint; the man who was my right arm, my best friend, died in my arms. I have mourned him ever since, why? Because there is not a man in this world that will ever compare to him , I love now as much today as I did when he was alive, the thought of moving on with another would be betrayal, almost unfaithful.
Am I wrong to deny myself a life without the company of another man? Probably yes.
The problem is, you begin to enjoy your own company, another man in your life would spoil that.
Am I right thinking like this? Probably no.
I have many male friends who I join up with for lunch etc, all deliberately kept at arms length out of my own fear.
Am I right to feel like this? Probably not.
Above, your friends here have all given sound and positive advise, it might be wise not to follow my example. You already know what to do, your heart is telling you already.
Your wife and my husband, would be the first to give their approval.
Good luck and good wishes to you. Regret is a terrible waste.
Mornin’ all, and bless you for your support, kind wishes and advice. I have read and re-read each and every comment several times, often, I have to admit, with tears streaming down my snout. Boy, is there some heavy stuff out there, or what?
I spent most of last night out on the hillside talking to Zangada and doing an awful lot of thinking. You see, although it’s more than four years since that devastating day, her dressing gown still hangs behind the bedroom door, her perfumes, bottles and potions are still on the bathroom shelf and not one day goes by when I do not think of her. It was only last month that I felt able finally to move her clothes from our bedroom to a spare room. What a morning that was!
In the months following the funeral I was a complete wreck – totally unable to function at any normal level. Looking back, I probably had some kind of breakdown truth to tell and couldn’t face doing anything or seeing anybody. I just sat here in The Cave day after day wondering what was the effing point of it all. I was never suicidal or anything like that, nor did I hit the bottle or do anything else stupid. I just shut down completely. Nobody knew.
Anyway, he says, taking a deep breath and wiping something from his eye, after digesting all your thoughts and experiences I have decided to have a lope in the direction of this new arrival on the radar. Even if any putative relationship goes anywhere the new she-wolf (Memo to self – must think of a name) could never ever take Zangada’s place – they are different people and very different personalities for a start. Also I don’t know yet how she coped with her bereavement or copes with her widowhood, or is even interested in me at anything more than a “someone I know” level. Time will tell. Patience, Wolfie. Patience.
Before I leave this post, I must make a special mention to Val, whose experiences and sentiments most mirror my own. Val, the hairs on my neck were prickling as I read your comment, as were my eyes. I could have written it myself. I felt exactly as you do and never thought I would find myself in the current frame of mind. I mourn Zangada each and every day and always will, but now I am finding myself also looking forward to seeing the new she-wolf.
God, but this has been difficult! Despite the superficial levity this has been the most reflective and personal post I have ever written and even this comment I have just scripted startles me. Probably the honesty and genuineness of your replies has brought the demons back to the surface where many of them have been exorcised in the past hours. It has been a shattering, cathartic experience for which I thank you all.
As Dave Allen used to say, “May your God go with you.”
OZ
All the best, OZ, whichever path you choose to tread.
My very best wishes to you
OZ, I have nothing sensible to add to your last comment #40, mainly because I too am having difficulty seeing the keyboard, it must be hay fever that is causing this blurred vision 🙂
I can hear our spouses now “Oh get a grip you two”.
Take care OZ.
Val.
Val
Not often you find me struggling to put my thoughts into words but this is one of those times, what I read from you when I awoke this morning stopped me cold, you have not been out of my thoughts all morning, take care and chin chin.
Cheers, Zen – At least I have some direction to my life again.
OMG – The storm clouds seem to be parting at last. Treasure Mrs OMG, of whom you have written.
Val – Huge, hairy cyber-hugs from The Cave. Have a long think on what other people have written here. There is a lot of wisdom and it may help you too.
OZ
OMG & OZ, my very best wishes to you both; In fact, best wishes to all who have commented to OZ so beautifully here, in all the turmoil and wretchedness that effects so many lives, most of ue are blessed at times, especially when it matters.
Hello OZ: Sorry I am so late to this as usual, I have been traveling in the UK for the last several weeks. I well remember your kind thoughts at the other place when my wife of 40+ years died suddenly in 2008. I offer no advice that can be useful to you, we are all of us different, in both our minds and our hearts.
For what it may be worth, my situation is this, like you, I have found a soulmate, an independent widow (and grandmother) ten years my junior, we plan to be married later this year.
During our time together my late wife and I talked about everything that concerned or troubled us, she always told me that if anything happened to her I should remarry, her reasons were that physically I would cope on my own but emotionally I was “Just a boy”, she was a very astute lady.
My best wishes to you whatever you decide, may you find happiness.
Hiya LW and heartfelt thanks for your kind words. I don’t know yet whether the new she-wolf will become a soul-mate – it’s far too early for that, but I would quite like it to be. I am so pleased you have found personal happiness again and wish you both the very best for the future.
OZ
O Zangado –
I don’t know why you’re hesitating. Carpe diem and all that. As I say to my children, it’s not the things you do but the things that you don’t that cause you most angst in life. You’re not going to forget your first love – but I can’t think that she would wish you to remain alone and unloved for some idea of what she might have wanted. She isn’t here and you are – so if you have been offered a second chance, GO FOR IT!
Squarepeg – “She isn’t here and you are ..” Therein lies the fundamental problem, but I think I have managed finally to reconcile that particular issue in the past 24 hours. 🙂
OZ
There is a saying who’s origin has shuffled off into the dusty wings of history some time back, the saying is ‘The kindness of strangers.’
Never really thought about it much other than some vague Connection with the parable of the Samaritan who did not pass on the other side. But if the Internet and blogs in particular ever come to have a real meaning I think it has manifested itself on this site over the past 24 hours. I know folk on here have rallied before when someone has suffered a loss, I don’ t have to go into detail but it does make you think, here we are a gathering of strangers who probably know more about each other than some we call call close friends, so are we strangers? Or friends who don’t know each other by site but by nature and the sheer humanity that is within us all. To my my mind it is the latter and be it sad or jolly, our worlds are better for interacting together on here
OMG. 🙂
Good luck whatever you decide, OZ.
Good comment, OMG. I still keep nearly calling you Oh My God… 🙂
OMG – For someone who was in my situation, talking openly to family seemed impossible – too uncomfortable for both sides, but I distinctly remember unloading all my raw, tearful emotions a couple of months after the funeral onto the wife of a friend here. She, bless her forever, took it like a trouper and the very act of purging the soul did wonders for me.
Used properly, and with the right people such as are found here, t’interweb works in the same way. Again, heartfelt thanks to all who took the trouble to respond to my initial post.
OZ
Hello OZ I have just got back from Spain. Flew out from Faro at lunch time. I wonder how close I was to Wolf Country? My advice for what its worth my friend, is just go with your heart.
Good luck,
Toc
Hell, Tocino, you should have said! Faro is only just over an hour away if you drive like I do and I would have been pleased to buy you a beer (even at Faro Airport prices) while you were waiting for your flight. 🙂
OZ
Life moves on Oz, I am sure your last she wolf would not expect you to stay alone forever.
But take it slowly and see what transpires.
Rick – Oooh, your “last she-wolf” comment is personally spooky. Zangada used to introduce me to her friends I had not previously met as “my current husband”, just to keep me on my toes, she explained.
OZ
OZ, you didn’t go to a Birkenhead school did you?
Pseu – What do you take me for – some kind of sheeep molester? No, I went to school on the Scouse side of the Mersey.
OZ
Itt’s just that Cyclomaniac did and that’s where I learned the ‘bolleaux’ expression…. that or bollwogs.
Pseu – All I can say is just don’t let Cyclomaniac near anything with a fleece. 😀
OZ
OZ, hi. This has been a profound and often intensively moving thread. Thank you.
My only experience in this respect has been as a future son-in-law. Mrs M’s mother died when she was 15. I met her when she was 19 and married her when she was 24.
Her Dad remarried when she was 21 – a friend of his late wife but about 20 years younger than him and 15 years older than us. I spent many hours talking with him late into the night about whether he was doing the right thing – he could never bring himself to talk to his children about it and I was the go between. They, of course, only wanted him to be happy and he did the right thing by them financially. I am the Trustee of his estate and his second wife has a life rent on his estate which will pass to said children on her death.
Like many others here, all I can say is go for it! But, please tie up any loose ends if you can. I have seen too much misery caused within families not to believe in the need to make clear testamentary provision before popping one’s clogs when second spouses come along.
And I’m sorry about this, particularly if you or anybody else hereon might feel that this is inappropriate but I can’t help myself thinking about Dr Hfuhruhurr in ‘The Man with Two Brains’.
Please feel free to delete this clip if it does offend.
I thought that was very funny, Mr Mackie, but I’m the shifty, no-good, unsentimental, pleasure-seeking Californian.
JM – Don’t thank me, thank everyone (yourself included) who bared their souls here and offered their support. I have been awake for the best part of two days reading the comments, talking to Zangada and thrashing things out in my own mind. There is so much sadness in many of the comments, yet so much hope too. As regards ‘loose ends’, I would refer you to my #22 above. The cubs are sorted whatever happens – they get The Cave and all that therein is, and it’s all down in black and white. Anyway, the new she-wolf has her own Cave, and very tasteful it is too, plus the wherewithall to maintain it and herself.
Jaimie – Perhaps now you understand the ‘Zangado’ tag. 🙂
OZ
Ah, I see. You’ll let us know when you change your tag …
and best wishes to you …
OZ
I’ve read this thread since it first started. My sentiments remain the same as when you first asked the question. It is, in my opinion, no betrayal or dishonour to the dead to continue living – and living is about loving and taking chances. Good Luck 🙂
OZ
I have known my lawyer for decades, he insists on calling whichever husband ‘the current incumbent’.
Bloody funny. I have promised to fit him in next lifetime. If I ever bitch about the current model he brightens up and sports the lunch bill.
Boadicea – It has been a Damascene weekend (if there is such a thing) and I’m frankly knackered. With the help of friends here who have opened their hearts on this post I have reconciled my thoughts and sentiments and am comfortable with the outcome. The new she-wolf is about to receive some dedicated attention and I hope she will be receptive. I’ll let you know.
OZ
OZ
I wish you joy!
But I suggest you take Ferret’s #37 to heart… she might not like the company you keep! 🙂
Boadicea – Don’t worry. Nobody in the world knows of the link between me and my lupine alter-ego and so it shall remain – my dark secret. Anyway, do you think for one moment I’d be foolish enough as to introduce her to this lot? 😀
OZ
Mornin’ Christina – From what I’ve read from you, I suspect ‘current incumbent’ is probably a legal phrase indicating steady work and muito dinheiro. 🙂
OZ
OZ
I’m sure you are far too sensible!
Mrs Janus calls herself the last Mrs J. How’s that for confidence?
Just wonderedOZ, if you could expand on the fleece reference? (Number 62)
I don’t seem to have a sharp symbol on my keyboard…
Just wonderedOZ, if you could expand on the fleece reference? (Number 62)
Where do you find a sharp symbol on the keyboard…?
G’morgen Janus – How does she know with such certainty she’ll be the last Mrs J? You should be very afraid and start hiding the knives. 🙂
Mornin’ Pseu – It’s just that there is this persistent rumour on the Pier Head side of the Mersey that all the sheep on the Wirral Peninsula are very nervous, and with due cause. It’s a bit near Wales, you see.
OZ
STOP PRESS!!!
She’s just phoned inviting me to accompany her to her Portuguese lesson this morning. What?? OK, it’s not Brief Encounter or Gone with the Wind, but it’s a start, isn’t it?
Now, groom the whiskers, clean the fur, brush the fangs, etc.
I’m off. Catch you later and wish me luck.
Whoo hoo!!
OZ
Hee Hee OZ,
You sound like a little school cub again.
I am bowled over by the support here, what a great bunch.
Glad to see you decided to roll with it in the end OZ. Who knows where it might lead, but at the very least you are going to end up with a new friend. Go get ’em Wolf.
Good hunting, man. If you would like a few hints on Russian ladies, let me know 🙂
That’s what I like to see: pricked ears, gleaming fangs and a jaunty tail. Good luck, Oz! 😀
For extra attractive power buy “Pig Pheromones Spray”
Let me know if it works 🙂
Hee Hee IS,
He is pursuing a she-wolf not a sow chum. 🙂
Ferret – I just need to know if it works or not, I’m sick of my Brute33, not sure if it works any more, maybe they changed the formula, not a single drunken sheila has been attracted to me for over a week now, something might be wrong. 😦
Oz,
It’s no betrayal to live the life you have. It changes nothing about the memories for loved ones, you can still keep those in a special place. Life is a constant evolution and so we must keep evolving. I am sure your loving partner would have wanted you to be happy and that is what you must always remember, otherwise you will disappoint her memory as much as yourself.
Best wishes with the new adventure, just try not to judge by the same standards, it isn’t a competition, it’s a new life and it takes nothing away from your old one.
Best wishes.
Ahem, er, good afternoon! 🙂
OZ
Well?
Well, what?
OZ
Don’t keep us waiting OZ ……… Well?
Never kiss n tell OZ.
Thats the way.
Weeeeeell, I drove the new she-wolf to her Portuguese lesson and joined in a bit.
OZ
Well done OZ, one step at time, next time wait until she’s hungry, buy her a meat pie and then tell her she owes you a date for it. It never fails 🙂 (well, almost 😦
🙂
I think it is time to draw a veil over this post as it has been emotionally wrung out by now. It has been a truly remarkable experience, the likes of which I have never encountered before and I would like most genuinely to thank all those contributors who bared their souls and wrote so movingly hereon. I will leave it usiing the videoclip with which I previously left MyT and the lyrics of which have taken on a whole new meaning in the past 48 hours.
Bless you all.
OZ
Smile away Oz, and be happy!
See you on a new thread soon then?