Courage, onwards and upwards

I told you all a couple of weeks ago that my relationship was over.  Well, after much talking and some organisation my partner is going into proper rehab on friday and I really admire him for it.

Like me, he went through daily rehab at a wonderful centre in Truro, which turned my life around totally, but it was not enough for him and even though he had cut his drinking down considerably it wasn’t enough and it was causing real problems with my family.  The main point of contention is when he has had a bit too much to drink he forgets that he is the adult in the relationship that he has with my eldest daughter and what starts off in banter soon turns into him getting really quite nasty to her, becasue he is giving more than she can handle.  I am not saying that Talwyn doesn’t antagonise him, because she does, only when he is on the beer, but he just can’t let things lie.

So, it came to the point where I had to choose.  It was him or Talwyn and she won hands down, obviously.  Something had to change or give, if you like, and it had to come from him.  He did, in fact, get himself down to the doctor’s as soon as he could, and set this in motion himself.  He wants to prove to her that he can change, and myself to be honest and the wheels were set in motion for this residential rehab thing.  I didn’t think that it was going to happen so fast.  We got told last friday that the funding had been put in place, he went yesterday for the interview and was told that he was starting on friday.

I am now very aprehensive.  I know that he can do it, that it is going to do him the world of good.  The thing that is worrying me is that I have only spent one night seperated from him in over two years, we are best of friends as well as partners and I think I am going to find it harder than I thought.  I can have no contact with him at all for the first fortnight, then I can have some contact for the next couple of weeks before month two where he is allowed home on a saturday to month three where he can come home for weekends.

I met Paul on facebook, via one of their silly applications, we started talking on the following saturday on the phone, then we were in constant touch, spending hours and hours on the phone, then texting each other all day when he was at work and six months after we first met, he came down to Cornwall to meet us, stayed nearly a fortnight, went home, we went up the next month for the whole of august and he then came home with us then and we haven’t, apart from the affore mentioned night, been apart since-so technically we have only ever met three times.  Fast, but I found my soul mate, I truely believe that and until the recent problems with the eldest, we have had a wonderful, happy relationship.

I don’t know that I would be willing to go that extra mile.  Maybe it would be different if I didn’t have the children, but three months away from them is not only inconcievable but totally impracticle.  Paul says, and I believe him that I am the love of his life, that he loves my children like his own and he is willing to do anything to make it work.  It is going to be hard, for all of us but if it means saving something that I hold so dear to me and he can prove himself to Talwyn, that he wants to change and will try his all to do so, then I can do nothing but admire him and stand by him.  Obviously the real test will be when he gets home, come august and we start again, but for now, good on ya boy!

xxx