I Hate Dogs

There I’ve said it. Christina will tear me to pieces and all the dog lovers will ostracise me for ever.

A minute or so down the road there’s a little wood, with a creek and a bridge that leads to a narrow path between two houses. Overnight the spiders have usually been busy spinning their webs across the path from tree to tree. One of the houses has a dog, which always barks as I pass. But it’s OK, because there are two fences between me and it.

At the end of the path I turn left and stroll down a road with the wood on one side, through a park and along the other side of the wood until I reach the house with THE DOG. I know it’s got a dog, there’s a huge notice proclaiming “BEWARE – DANGEROUS DOG”.

Now why, I ask myself, would anyone want to keep a dangerous dog? Oh well, I console myself – if it’s a guard dog, perhaps it will be well trained. Will it hell! It’s as daft as all the other dogs that plague my life – it  hasn’t learnt the difference between the property it’s supposed to be guarding and the rest of the world, i.e. the bit of pavement that I’m walking on.  This monster growls, barks ferociously, runs at the fence, and scrabbles to get over… and I turn heels and move off sharpish. I don’t run you understand, I just make sure I get out of range pretty quickly.

Dogs are not allowed to run free here. It’s got nothing to do with my safety, but for the protection of the wild life. Still it’s a useful law and I’m very pleased that it’s in place. However, this morning, I departed as usual, crossed the bridge, dealt with the spiders’ webs and got as far as the end of the lane. There,  blocking my egress, was a dog. Now, I understand that one is, theoretically, supposed to be able to impress on these creatures that the human is ‘boss’ and they will then roll over and expose their bellies to be tickled or something. Well, that happens when Bearsy meets a strange dog – but not me.

This dog behaved exactly as they all do  – it  looked me straight in the eyes, leered and started barking. I wasn’t fooled by the tail wagging… it was drooling and seemed to be eyeing me in much the way as I look at a nice juicy steak.

Perhaps it’s not the dogs I hate – it’s really their owners.

36 thoughts on “I Hate Dogs”

  1. Boa, good morning.

    Up early to start my sporting day. Watching ‘the’ cricket at the moment as opposed to some minor Antipodean skirmish. Please tell Bearsy that the score is 487-4 (or 4-487) at lunch and that the English are coming Ashes-wise. They will, of course, get gubbed at rugby this afternoon at Murrayfield.

    Bit of a pooch lover myself but I promise that I won’t ostracise you absolutely and for ever for this blog. I think that you are absolutely right about the problem being the human rather than the hound.

    It is, however, your explanation as to why dogs can not run free in Oz that really intrigues me. ‘……for the protection of the wild life.’ I had been led to believe that your wild life, from Salt Water Crocodile through Taipan snake to Funnel Web, was pretty robust in terms of looking after itself?

  2. We are in danger of losing our skirmish, JM. Please excuse me, as I must attend closely to the match, they need my telepathic support. Another wicket has gone while I type … 4/72 chasing what we thought was an easy target of 241. Oh dear! 😕

  3. The problem is definitely the owners. I hate going to places where the dog pins me to the wall, slobbers all over me and the owner says cheerily ‘oh! he’s just being friendly’. I told one such owner that the next time she visited me I’d get my daughters to pin her to the wall and dribble all over her. Oddly enough, she kept her dogs away from me thereafter…

    There are certainly sufficient ‘nasties’ here to kill off domestic animals. A friend of mine (not the one mentioned above!) has just lost her dog to a snake bite. But she does live in a pretty remote area.

    Both cats and dogs do a lot of damage to the smaller native animals (like Bilbies!) and for that reason both have to be registered, micro-chipped and kept under control here in Queensland.

    http://www.brisbane.qld.gov.au/BCC:BASE::pc=PC_5795

    http://www.brisbane.qld.gov.au/BCC:BASE::pc=PC_5765

  4. The thing about dogs is they are nauseatingly ingratiating to their feeders, unlike cats which know when to stop.

  5. JM, you’re not seriously confident about your team’s performance today, are you? No, nor am I about mine!

  6. Hi, Janus.

    I am never seriously confident about Scotland’s abilities in any sport, embittered as I am by long experience. We do, however, have a chance today, in my opinion, if we play as well as we can and England play as badly as they can.

  7. Boadicea, I know how you feel. I don’t hate dogs per se; in fact I am capable of loving some dogs. But what I do dislike intensely is ‘dogs in the wrong environment’. I grew up on a farm and our dogs ran free. They would run for miles behind the truck or motorbike. They would come shooting with us. They did not require fancy and expensive dog food and rarely went to the vet except for anti rabies shots. They were brilliant. And when our wonderful Alsatian got billary and died, despite our best efforts, I cried. However, in the cities, people keep big dogs that do not get anything like enough exercise. They get bored and so they bark continuously and get aggressive. They also get fat and become ill and so require expensive food and medicines. Barking dogs can drive one insane and lead to intense animosity between neighbours.

    As you say most of the problem is with the owners. Their dogs become so precious that they lose sight of the fact that they are just dogs. If I can go a day with out food, why should a dog not go a day without food. People have to rush home or cancel plans because the bloody dog needs feeding at 18.00 precisely. Then there are the dogs that fart. Their owners think it is amusing, but when they are lying under the table during dinner dropping their guts, it is revolting.

    Worst of all are those dog breeds that should be banned. I am talking about animals such as Pugs and Bulldogs that are bred to be deformed. Some friends of mine recently acquired two Bulldog puppies. They grew up into strapping animals, but one in particular had terrible breathing problems. Recently they took them on a trip. It got very hot and the dog got heat exhaustion and struggled to breath, eventually dying. They got very sad and I confess, I got angry. Keeping those kinds of breeds is cruel.

  10. Actually Sipu – I don’t hate all dogs. Bearsy had dogs in the UK – great softies who were properly trained and well cared for.

    There are dogs here who are also no trouble, but far, far too many are kept in small yards (gardens), left alone for long periods and do not get sufficient exercise.

    Don’t start me on owners who find their dog’s behaviour amusing! Some dog-owners are worse than new parents – I’m not that interested in what Little Sarah has learnt to do, and I’m even less enthusiastic about Toto’s new tricks.

    I believe that the breeders in the UK are finally banning some of the over-bred dogs. About time.

  12. You are quite right, Boadicea; it’s the owners not the dogs who are to blame. I have until recently always had dogs, but I too abhor this tendency to expect others to love them too.

    Badly behaved dogs are a nuisance and a danger.

  15. You are definitely right about it being the owners Boadicea. Do you get a programme called ‘It’s Me or The Dog’ in OZ? It’s quite amazing how some people don’t train their pets and somehow expect them to be perfect. Off to Mother now. See you all later.

  17. Waddya mean “BEWARE – DANGEROUS DOG”. Overnight the spiders have usually been busy spinning their webs across the path from tree to tree, FFS!

    Shudder!

    OZ

  18. In my line of work I have to be very careful about dogs. Some of them may think I am accosting their owner when I start dressing a wound, or what ever, so I always insist the dog is put out in another room. If I visit a new patient who has a dog I won’t enter until the dog is restrained.
    Just twice fogs have gone for me and luckily the first time the hound was on a short lead that stopped it reaching me and the second time I was able to shut a door promptly. My heart races to think about the incidents even now. The first was a Doberman (though what a housebound patient was doing with such an animal I shall never know) and the second incident was with a pair of labs.

    I don’t dislike dogs generally, but echo comments above about an owner’s blasé attitude – oh , he’s harmless. My particular fear is a toddler, unaware of the need for caution, at a dogs face height.

  20. Levent – certainly. 😉

    Araminta:

    I too abhor this tendency to expect others to love them too.

    It’s my experience that people with a ‘realistic’ approach (see Sipu) to their animals (and come to think of it their children!) tend to have the sort of animals (and children!) that one can take to.

    Isobel – no we don’t get the program.

    It’s quite amazing how some people don’t train their pets and somehow expect them to be perfect.

    See my comment above regarding animals and children – not a lot of difference really!

    Good Luck with your Mum.

  21. Anyway, dogs are nothing but wolves that have sold out to the enemy – their owners.

    OZ

  23. Pseu

    I can imagine it must be difficult to go into a house where you don’t know the owner or the animal.

    I would have trusted any of Bearsy’s dogs with a small child, and I’ve known other dogs and owners that I would feel the same about.

    We had big problems with a neighbour’s dog in Adelaide. It wasn’t big, but it was horrendous. It attacked the fence if it heard me talking in the house, and the guys who came to install the air-con, none of them small, were terrified of the thing. They had an eight year old child, and I wouldn’t be one bit surprised if the dog savaged the child at some point.

  24. Awful thought, Boa. Did you see my comment on another thread about ‘In our time’ BBC R4 program this week with Melvin Bragg about Boadicea?

  26. No I didn’t see your comment, Pseu, but thanks. I will listen to it tomorrow when I’m awake!

  27. Boadicea – We are not talking Surrey or Lancashire here, we are talking Queensland. The spiders, like most of the flora and fauna there, want to kill you.

    Anyway, I’ve been on planes and trains where there were children worse trained than any of my dogs, and undoubtedly with an inferior pedigree judging by their parents.

    OZ

  28. Boadicea – Apologies. I seem to have suffered a “Christina” moment in my previous comment. 😀

    OZ

  30. OZ – did you look at my link for spider identification? I don’t take the Mortein with me on my early morning walk – perhaps I should – but it’s right beside me when I venture into the garden!

    As to children… the less said the better.

    No apologies needed! 🙂

  31. Yes, dogs wag their tails in a different way when they want to eat bits of you. Just as well there was a fence.

    I love some dogs but not all. I’m a bit picky. I was on a date with my favourite dog Lexie, a beautiful Belgian Shepherd up on Cleeve Hill on Tuesday. He’s got personality and he is wonderful for a bit hairy cuddle. Beautifully behaved as he was trained as a guide dog for the blind, but unfortunately his companion died suddenly so he went to my pal J as a pet.

    If more dogs had good owners, more people would like them, I think. They are marvellous companions and I really believe that having a pet dog is life-enhancing. Certainly my life is lacking without one, no question. I have been cycling more to try and hide the gap but there are times when I still miss my dog very sorely indeed.

  32. Boadicea – (From behind the sofa) Yes, I looked, and the way they keep twitching…… 😦

    Bearsy – I never used to venture even into the bathroom without a can of Mortein to hand.

    OZ

  33. Janh

    The problem with the dog this morning was that there wasn’t a fence. It was on the loose and blocking my way – it had the look, the drool and the tail… and I thought it might be a good idea to take a different walk…

    I’m sure there are neurotic dogs born, but I’m sure many, many more are made.

  34. Oz! Shame on you! You are far bigger than they are – and anyway you’ve got the Mortein!

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