Minus three degrees, a single track road and frosted grass verges disappearing into thick early morning mist; it wasn’t looking promising.
“We’re not going to see anything.”
“If we’re lucky we’ll just hear it go by.”
“To think we got up at 5.45am for this…”
The discontented curmudgeonly mutterings came one after the other from my fellow travellers.
“Ah, no worries,” I said. “It’s going to be clear. The sun will burn away the mist. It’ll be fine.”
I always say stuff like that, believing it as I say it but also knowing that it’s 50-50 whether my prediction will be correct or not.
When I used to walk my dog at this time of the morning, the shapes of solitary, sleeping cattle would materialise out of the mist.
This time, as we neared our destination, different objects emerged – cars, camper vans and the pale flesh of half naked men pulling on neoprene wetsuits.
Surfers in the mist. Crazy people donning black and lifting battered surfboards from the roofs of their vehicles. The accents were English, Australian and Forest of Dean. They were in good humour and had no objection to people passing judgement on the specifically delicious lunacy of going surfing in the middle of Gloucestershire on the 3rd of March.
Lithe surfers bearing boards and anoraked, hooded, be-scarfed and generally warmly muffled people all mingled walking down the lane together in the direction of the river. By now the sun had risen above the Cotswold edge and set the already-thinning mist glowing.
We passed the Old Passage – a former inn-turned-excellent restaurant, so-called because of the ancient ferry crossing from this place to the village across the river, Newnham-on-Severn. The small car park was packed – mostly surfer vehicles plus a BBC outside broadcast van, it’s tall mast already in place and a journo scribbling notes in a crombie coat with the collar turned up.
All eyes were on the river. This was a big event. I’d been half-expecting fun-fairs and fish and chips – or at least a hot-dog van but it was only 7.30am and the clusters of people stood on the brink of the muddy bank leading to the mudflats were well-behaved, chatting quietly and watching the TV news chap preparing to do a piece to camera.
The surfers strode effortlessly down the muddy bank and carried their boards out across the mudflats to the water lying thin and brown under the red cliff of Newnham-on-Severn.
On top of the cliff, in the churchyard, a multi-coloured ribbon of people against the fence in the churchyard. If we were in the front stalls, those people up on the churchyard cliff were definitely in the gods, awaiting the biggest natural event of the year in Gloucestershire – a five star Severn bore.
My friend’s feet were chilled in her wellingtons, so we walked the riverside path around the curve of the horseshoe bend of Severn until we saw the surf of a distance wave curling against the far bank.
We hurried back. The bore is a bit of a slouch – 3 mph max, if memory serves, but this one was due to be spectacularly high.
The river is wide at Arlingham but it means you see the bore for longer and it’s the prime place for surfer dudes waiting to catch the wave.
It only looked a metre and a bit high but still they went for it– the black stick figures – some standing, some adopting classic surfer stance. As tick followed tock, surf boards flipped up and only the expert and the experienced stayed with it, riding the party wave.
We saw more than seventy surfers surfing and waiting in the water at different sections of the river but but few of them lasted the four minute journey right around the bend. I counted five when the bore disappeared from view.
Like a Royal procession, the bore was followed by a fleet of motorboats while above, light planes were taking a look, plus a helicopter and a microlight or two. An RAF trainer jet made a brief appearance.
Meanwhile a stream of surfers were hurrying back along the flats and clambering up the mudbanks heading for the cars. If they got a move on, they would catch it again further upriver.
One guy, hauling his surfboard back up the muddy bank, was off to try again at Stonebench a couple of miles away by car.
“I was lying down” he said. “Too many surfers to stand up.” He was a local.
He added, as though I needed some perspective…..“A lot of people have come for this one but some of us do this all year round not just the big ones.”
Yup. I had to agree with his sentiments. The glamour boys were only there for the big-starred bore; the rest of the year they’re in Australia, Hawaii, Cornwall, the Gower, Earl’s Court.
It takes a particular genuine devotion to want to surf the Severn all year round. That is hard-core.
As the Beach Boys sang “Catch a wave and you’re sittin’ on top of the world.”
Boadicea's Chariot 
Perhaps it is just me, but I can’t see the pics or the movie. A very niece piece of writing though. Thank you.
I’m so sorry Tocino. Can’t understand why the Picasa link isn’t working. Just checking…
Yep. My mistake. Too many https. My apologies. Now sorted.
Marvellous Janh.
I thought of you on 3rd when I was it on the pm news as I did the ironing.
I am ashamed to say I have never seen the bore, but having read that I feel like I was there. Great pics too.
It was actually on the BBC America news here, I thought of you at the time!
A splendid British eccentricity that will not survive the barrage if it is ever built.
Not that that matters to the govt! (For very obvious reasons from your photos)
Thanks Pseu. 🙂 Been a bit hectic this week. Sorry this is old news!
Greetings Darrel. Tch tch. Next you’ll be confessing that you’ve never seen the cheese rolling!! Remember the elver-eating at Frampton? I’m sure Gloucestershire isn’t that freaky but it does seem to be over-endowed with weird customs.
Hey Christina, maybe I should have waved to the camera! Nice of you to think of me.
Oh I’m very firmly against the barrage – it will wipe out the eco-system of the Severn wetlands, ruining all the wildfowl habitat and be the end of the bore. It will irrevocably change the character of the whole Severn vale. Can’t possibly be allowed.
Thanks Janh, I guess I’ve missed another one, the Times reporter could not have been there either if he saw the wave “rush DOWN the Severn” All the bores I have seen were going the other way. Re: elvers, almost time for them too, last time I asked they were bringing 100 GBP per kilo live, a bit high for breakfast food. I did get some in Northern Spain (San Sebastian) last year, will have to get my brother out early one morning with the dip net, I am told they are still plentiful if you know where to look.
janh, me too, I am firmly against anything that changes the nature of our island.
Not enough power = too many people using it.
Close the doors and send some home, don’t put the bill on our ecosystems!
Why should our wild life pay the price for politically machinated immigration and failed power policies?
This one seriously gets up my nostril.
I’m very supportive of weird customs, Jan.
Terrific blog; your are always so wildly enthusiastic. 🙂
Great pics too; couldn’t view them earlier.
“you”
Excellent blog and pictures, Jan, but I searched and searched and couldn’t find a picture of the RAF trainer jet. Was it going too fast?
Excellent blog, Jan. Very evocative and descriptive – I enjoyed it.
Thanks Jan – the photos were great. I wish you luck in stopping the barrage.
LW – ‘rush down the Severn’ Love it. What a giveaway!!
Yes elvers will be the next thing. Always thought the whole elvering thing would be worth a TV documentary but no-one’s ever done one. Your brother is one of those in the know, then LW. That kind of knowledge is very valuable indeed!
The World Elver Eating contest on the green at Frampton-on-Severn used to be a regular diary date – to attend NOT to take part in (she added hastily). They stopped it several years ago when the politically correct brigade decided eating contests encouraged gluttony.
Morning Jan. You write some great blogs. Ever thought of doing it professionally?
Thanks folks. Very droll, Araminta. My panning isn’t that quick 🙂
Hi Boadicea. There is a large body of opposition to the barrage, including some eminent scientists and academics. Feasibility study stage at the moment.
Hi Claire. 🙂 Is there a market for “professional” blogs? I’ve never been asked. If I fancy anything, it would be a column in some publication where I could say what i bloody well like! Now that *would* be fun 🙂
Brilliant blog, very atmospheric, I could smell the misty, moisty morning.
Thanks OMG. I use that phrase too!
Well Janh, I think this would fall into the category of feature writing. Send it off to the Guardian’s travel or lifestyle section. You could also look at travel writing and specialist surfing publications…I know it’s very competitive etc etc, but I just think when you write to this standard you might as well get paid for it!
Actually, most are very good writers on here, I think…must be something to do with the lack of sniper fire allowing creativity to flourish ; )
As I was typing yesterday before I went into Vodafone bad area on the M6, thanks for the kind comments, Claire. Yes the blogs on here are excellent and the comments all intelligent and apt. So much to read. I can’t cover half of it – but all good 🙂